>be 21 year old girl >got "raped" when 16 from

>>18349543
go see a therapist

kill the guy who raped you, you will feel better
if you need someone to do it for you, I'm your guy.

ewh... i tried and it help in generell but not with this messed up topic :/

>>18349552

I talked to him years after and he was sincerly sorry about it... and it wasnt so much of his fault. i was too young and unexperienced to know better

>>18349543
Yeah, my girl got used (pulled back in with promises of figuring things out, fucked, ignored) multiple times by her ex after a breakup, then when we got together my "best friend" got her uber drunk and manipulated her into fucking. Then once I fucked her when she was on xans and I was only a little drunk. All of these events have traumatized her (although we came to an agreement about the sex, she told me she wanted me and that she didn't care, I wasn't even hounding her, think it was mainly bad because the xans made her forget and her trust issues from previous examples kicked in). She can't have sex without breaking down crying during or after the act.
Idk what to do honestly. Therapy is prolly a good idea, I think it helped her a little.

>>18349562
mhm I can relate with her and the stuff 'bout her ex :/
i feel sorry for both of you.
how do you deal with it? have you figured a way out to have sex again?

>>18349543
"raped"?

>>18349569
I mean we'd just get really fucked up and have sex, it kinda worked at least staving off the crying until the end of the sex or after, but honestly nothing fixed it. We broke up about two months after my friend took advantage of her, she went back to her ex on 18 mg xanax and fucked him, same deal. We were on-off after that. I was able to fuck her without tears only a few times, but I always comforted her after and made it all ok. And never made her feel bad for having that reaction. If I saw her getting upset I'd stop or lift her off me (she would keep bouncing because she felt guilty, I'm not about that). Idk. Even me just eating her out when she was sober ended with tears and a heartfelt convo. I don't think she's capable of enjoying normal sex for the time being.

>>18349543

GET
ON
TOP

have him be completely submissive, ride him, use extra lube so you wont feel any pain

this should give you a feeling of being in control, do it like this for probably 3-10 of the times you're both together so that you can start shaking off this ptsd about the rape

(when you're ready, let him be on top or behind)

However it also means YOU will have to initiate, you're gonna have to be the one who pokes him in the chest and says "we're having sex mister"

This is how its gonna have to be for awhile, you cant have him taking control or initiative at all, due to the rape trauma.

>>18349620
Idk if that will work desu. I'm >>18349603 we kinda tried that, worked a little bit seemingly but not really. And didn't get her over her feelings.

>>18349543
Took me years to get over it with no therapy so I don't recommend that but I've know people with ptsd who had success with this https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing

>>18349620
thanks for the advice. i think i'll try this... not the stuff about him being submissive, but going on top and to control everything

(desu i dont really like to be on top, but i think it could be the only way :/. i just freak out when someone stronger is over me and i feel like i cant really do anything ._. and sometimes just "pass out" emotionally and just... look at the situation without feeling really there. really fucked up feeling)

and another question... should i tell the guy before? i really dont like talking about because i dont want to ruin the situation or to be seen as super fucked up ._.

>>18349636

have you tried this for yourself?
how does it work for you?

>>18349643
I'd just tell him that you want to fuck but that it's a little touchy/complicated for you, so you need him to be gentle and let you control the encounter, at least for now. He'll understand if he aint an asshole. And if you are attractive to him he really won't care.

>>18349636

and did you do something to get over with it or just time and better experiences? if its okay for you to talk about it

>>18349651

hm, this actually might work :o thank you so much :)

>>18349655
I gotchu G. Ik it's really tough, you must feel really self-conscious about it. But just be honest about it, no need to get into the specifics at early stages but let him know what's going on in your head and what you need to make it work.