Hey adv need a bit of advice. Recently I told this girl (pic

Lol you actually believe her? If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be with the other guy.

>>18341202
She has no reason to lie to me. we have known eatchother for a long time. plus she isn't the type of girl to lie about something this serious. she would have told me something along the lines of "I'm sorry anon be we should just stay friends"

>>18341199
you my dude, are the backup man. The plan B.

But she's fucking adorable. Play it real low key minimal contact but always be super charming in your SHORT responses. the less you say with these broads pre-coitus, the better.

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Well if you think that then wait. But it sound like BS to me my friend.

>>18341210
What are you wanting here?

>>18341210
Like I said, if she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be with the other guy.

>>18341214
Honestly I agree 100% but she said I was the first guy that was that open with her about my feelings and I know this might sound stupid but it might be my only chance to be with someone I care about so much

>>18341224
>>18341202
This. Open your eyes.

>wanting used goods

>>18341223
I want a chance at life with her man.

>>18341224
I get that but is it really not worth a shot?

You need to move on.

>>18341226
>I know this might sound stupid but it might be my only chance to be with someone I care about so much
What chance? She's with someone else. Neither of you would respect each other if she broke it off with her current guy just to be with you.

You missed your chance, OP. Go find someone else.

>>18341233
Well she doesn't want to be with you so you don't have a shot in the first place...?

>>18341226
She doesn't love you, man, fuck. Wanting her to isn't going to make it so.

>>18341238
She told me if I could wait for a while then it would work out. I'm listening to what all of you have to say but will I ever get another chance?

>>18341241
Okay OP I'm going to break it to you she is in a relationship with this dude. And it seems like you have something that she isn't getting what she wants with her current BF. Also seems like y'all gonna cheat and are you going to be okay with that morally? How is it possible to start a relationship with a grill that will possibly do the exact same thing to you?

>>18341241
Answer me this: what possible reason could she have for making you wait? If she ACTUALLY returned your feelings despite being in a relationship with someone else, the logical thing for her to do would be to break up with him and be with you. That's what would be fair on her boyfriend, it's what would be fair on her, and it's what would be fair on you.

Now given that she's not doing the thing that makes the most sense if she really does like you, do you REALLY think she actually loves you and wants to be with you?

>>18341256
She doesn't want to cheat on her boyfriend is the thing man. she told me straight up she is in a relationship and doesn't want to mess that up. but she said that if something happened to her and her boyfriend that she would give me a shot. I'm not teting to piss you guys off I am listening it's just I'm attached is all

Obviously she loves you but is too scared to do anything on her own. Make the decision for her. Take her out on a date, nothing sexual so its not cheating. After two or three dates, you should realize you have chemistry (or not) and convince her to break up with whatshisface. Boom, boom. You're happy, she's happy and she's not leading along whatshisface so he's happy too.

If this doesnt work, she's obviously lying about loving you, which sounds unlikely from your responses in this thread.

>>18341257
unfortunately you make a good point. I really wish that it could have gone like that but I don't hate the guy she is dating. I think he is a well rounded guy and I don't want to bend over their relationship just because of how I feel. but I'm more afraid of what might happen if I don't try this.

>>18341268
That's a good idea too. but I don't want to fuck things over by one false move

>>18341226
keep your listening hat on, if she hints at the relationship dissolving then nudge her subtly. just realize she's fucking hot and can get a bf at the drop of a hat. even if she was uglier that would be the case (it's the world we live in sadly). So be on point! It's like Inception. You have to make her think it's HER idea to go out with you over other men if/when her current relationship goes under.

Just curious how old are you OP?
I ask because of similarities.

OP, if she's willing to end her relationship with her boyfriend for you, what happens when her next childhood flame comes along? Are you going to get cast aside?

You've got to imagine this guy thinks he loves her more than anything and would do anything for her, just as much as you say you love her.

>>18341285
you make a good point once again. I don't want to fuck over their relationship just for my sake though

>>18341199

I know dat feel faggot. Just give it a couple months and you will be over her. She's not that cute anyway she's got a huge fivehead.

>>18341280
>That's a good idea too. but I don't want to fuck things over by one false move
Relieving the sexual tension is going to feel so good. Imagine her in your arms, kissing and smiling about how you won her over.

>>18341285
>>18341226
you know what, go on a couple of dates with other girls if you can. don't flaunt it tho. there's this principle in human sexuality where women find a man more desirable if they can attract other women, i think it's called pre-selection? At any rate, if there's no signs that her current relationship is falling apart, then date around, let her know that you're objectively desirable.

>>18341290
I'm 20>>18341292

I think I know what I'm going to do guys. I'm thinking that tomorrow I will confront her about this whole situation and see if we will ever become a thing. if she says she's sorry but no then atleast she won't be leading me on. if she says she wants to be with me then I'll say that if she's telling the truth then I'll go from there

>>18341307
What? This is a terrible idea. This is about the most tone-deaf thing you could possibly do.

>>18341312
how?

>>18341307
You say that like those are the only two possible answers she could give you. What about the bullshit "I want to be with you but now is not a good time" line she's already given you? Your desperate ass will hang onto it even though it's obviously a load of crock.

You need to treat the situation as if she's already turned you down 100%, because she effectively has.

>>18341312
>I love you anon
>me too
>ok lets date
yeah really tone deaf

>>18341319
your right. but will I get another chance with someone else?

>>18341322
>I love you anon
>me too
This has already happened and she's said
>I'm already dating someone

And now that I go back and read the OP again, it sounds like OP didn't know that she was in a relationship. How can you actually be in love with someone without knowing that they're in a relationship? That throws into question how well you actually know them, which casts doubt on whether you actually love them

>>18341326
Of course you fucking will, you moron.

Actually, you know what? Do what you want. Pursue this girl. Waste however many years pining over her while she leads you on and keeps telling you "I want to be with you but now isn't the time". Just don't come back here and cry about how you wasted years on a girl who was never interested in you in the first place.

>>18341312
>>18341307
agreed! DO NOT CONFRONT! REPEAT -- DO NOT CONFRONT!

>>18341318
>Girl says she likes you but is with a guy now.
>You confront her and demand to know whether you'll ever get to date her in the future.
Translated, you're asking her to break up with her boyfriend at some indeterminate point in the future and "reserve a spot" for you. It's like asking a girl out by saying "Hey let's go out sometime."

But it gets worse!
>Sorry anon, it won't happen.
Why would she EVER say this? She told you she likes you. Why would she foreclose the possibility in her own mind by saying that after having told you about it?

>I'll say that if she's telling the truth then I'll go from there
Paranoid much? How is a girl supposed to feel about you if you challenge her on something so serious, demand a response, and then suggest that she's fucking lying?

>>18341336
I think you and OP are on the same page. Saying "if we break up, maybe, someday...." is equivalent to saying "no." OP does not want to accept this so his plan is to confront / date her and get the break up to happen now. If she loves him like she says, it will happen and she and OP will cuddle cutely on the couch. Happy end.

>>18341336
I'm sorry. your right. I think I'm going to just give up on her. I appreciate you opening my eyes on this.

>>18341319
>You need to treat the situation as if she's already turned you down 100%, because she effectively has.
This. Hold out hope, keep communication open, but move on. Date other girls, hook up, whatever. You don't have to lessen your feelings for this girl, you don't have to give her ultimatums or tell her you've moved on BUT you need to hook up elsewhere. Objective desirability bro, and yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea so you will find others.

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I get the harshness a lot of people are throwing out is just to help me and appreciate it. the general consinses I'm getting is to move on and try to find someone that actually wants me. i appreciate the help and I won't cling onto this girl for false hope. this is her with the boyfriend. they look happy and I shouldn't mess that up

>>18341346
>You don't have to lessen your feelings for this girl
imo OP has to resolve this to find sweet sweet catharsis and love. Hence confronting her is the best move. Dating other girls while he's still pining over his "one true love" is a waste. He must get the girl he love (who presumably loves him back) together. There is zero reason to put this off and zero reason to think it wont happen. I'd bet she and OP will be fucking within the week because OP sounds like a great guy.

>>18341352
>they look happy and I shouldn't mess that up
They look like high schoolers smiling for a photo. They'll mess it up themselves in a few weeks, like all high school relationshits.

>>18341346
>You don't have to lessen your feelings for this girl
OP is unhealthily attached to a girl that he's not even dating and perhaps didn't even know she had a boyfriend. He definitely needs to let his feelings go.

>>18341343
>>18341342

imagine the desire that'll build up in this girl if you take this like a temporary rejection and use the opportunity to hook up with other girls, get fit, get smarter, fucking better yourself. you're 20, if you're in college it's easy to focus on personal health, studies and reading, and hooking up with as many people as possible. But when she texts you, skillfully let her know your feelings haven't changed.

>>18341353
>has to resolve this to find sweet sweet catharsis and love
HOLY FUCK NO. NO NO NO NO NO. OP, take it from someone in his 30s who did this same thing a half dozen times through his 20s, this mindset is TOXIC. It will only poison your approach to women until you break yourself of it. You DO NOT NEED TO RESOLVE SHIT. The single best thing you can do is focus on something else, and if you can't easily do that, focus on some*one* else, and do it without burning your bridges.

>>18341354
actually the photo was taken before a dinner party for the guys boss birthday. funny nontheless

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>>18341353
>Dating other girls while he's still pining over his "one true love" is a waste.
dating other girls when one is not in a committed relationship is never a waste.

>He must get the girl he love (who presumably loves him back) together. There is zero reason to put this off and zero reason to think it wont happen. I'd bet she and OP will be fucking within the week because OP sounds like a great guy.

pic related.

>>18341360
bingo
/thread

>>18341360
tell me your story honey who hurt you?

>>18341352
he's got a very punchable face.
but this pic and this>>18341199
don't look the same

>>18341377
Me. I hurt myself by engaging in this self-centered "catharsis" bullshit as a twentysomething. I burned bridges that, now, in my 30s, I really should've been using for networking to advance my career.

>>18341393
did you ever ask out someone who said they loved you?

>>18341389
both are the same girl I can assure you.

>>18341394
Where is OP proposing to do that? He's talking about demanding that a girl who is in a committed relationship make a commitment to him at an indeterminate point in the future on the basis of some feelings they had for each other and might've created a relationship in the past.

>>18341408
woah bro. I'm not demanding anything. I'm just asking her if she really is interested in me or not

>>18341412
the very last conversation you had with her, was it this?
>told this girl (pic related) that I was in love with her. she shockingly responded with "I feel the same way about you anon.". However afterwards she said she was in a relationship and said she didn't want me to completely fuck it up. however she said that if it did end I would definitely be hers.

and if so was the end of that interaction positive? if so, leave it there dude. no sense risking her finding you needy, or whatever. point is, you leave her mind swimming and her panties moist, >then you let her come to you.

>>18341427
yes we had a great talk afterwards. she said I was the first guy that was that open to her about my feelings and she said even her own boyfriend wouldn't have said that much.

>>18341431
drop the mic and walk away

just so I'm clear about my game plan. DO NOT CONFRONT just see how things go? try to find someone else for the meantime?

>>18341441
yes.

>>18341441
do what you want man I give up imo you could have this girl in a week if you really wanted

>>18341199
You orbiters are cancer.

>>18341448
You don't understand women at all

>>18341631
this is the part where you lay out your misogynistic viewpoint right

>>18341241
Shit OP. You're literally an emotional side bitch for her. Dump her and move on. It'll honestly be the best thing for you. She's using you as a backup so if things go sour in her relationship she knows that she won't have to be alone for any extended period of time.

>>18341199
Tell her you posted her picture on 4chan. She'll definitely leave her boyfriend then.

>>18341285
How would one go about doing this, I'm in a similar situation

>>18342350
the one thing you dont want to do is become a beta orbiter endlessly waiting for her relationship to end. that's a ticket to insanity and depression as become the best man at her marriage
my advice is to either get over her or nudge her into your life now.

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>ah its the western people with loyalty issues thread
>again
Genuine question. Does loyalty mean anything to you western people, at all?