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>Chilling out
>20 years old
>Wonder if I'm ruining my life by my continued inactivity
>Know I've likely already experienced life's gamut just by living for so long
>Every emotion I've felt is what I'll feel for the rest of my life
>Didn't go anywhere outside of school throughout entirety of adolescence and onward from that period in my life
>Fear that I'm supposed to desire a better life
>Had a job and wanted to kill myself, but I've come to see alcohol will let me keep existing
>Would probably commit suicide if I didn't have escapism
I've never had a girlfriend, but I know a very good friend is virtually the same thing. The hardest part is that it's very difficult to make friends in real life, especially at work where I can't be sincere.
Does anyone have any advice for a person like me? I've lost all contact with the real world outside of my job, but I don't know if that's a negative thing.
My sister is flourishing in the world, but she has always done so.
I'm intending to just care for my parents until they're gone. I don't understand why I should move out unless I want to do drugs and buy hookers, and I'd rather have a purpose to my existence.
I don't see the purpose in having children. As an atheist that doesn't see them as possessions, I can't bring more people into this world.
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>>18336513
Keep doing what you are doing. In few years you will finally grow up and realize there is more to life than work and sleep.
You are still a little baby.
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>>18336527
I wish people would elaborate on what they mean when they say grow up.
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>>18336554
>ask and you shall recieve
At your age i was clueless fat virgin uni student. My whole world were lectures, homeworks, some addictive online game, part time job at weekends and banter with similiar people like me. And i disregarded any gf or female thoughts with furrious fapping to the most degenerate porn you could have found.
You think you know it all now. But guess what, you dont. You claim god doesnt exists (maybe consider switching from atheist to prognostic), you claim kids doesnt deserve to explore this fun world and semi inherit your will and dna and your end life goal is to literally wait for your parents to die alone.
And guess what, it is all laughtable.
Go read some book, get fit, maybe try sex for first time via new gf, buy some toys for adult like car, pc, dragon dildo, new phone and just keep doing sonething you enjoy. With a bit of luck, you will gain new skill called empathy, your interests will shift and who knows, maybe you even fall in love to get your hearth broken from your first gf.
Tldr grow up. You still know shit about life and world. Broaden your interests, start asking questions like WHY and HOW to things you have never been interested before.
Even browsing this cesspit will broaden your horizons, provided you evade cancer boards, memes and realize that most of it are jokes.
Good luck!
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>>18336615
I can't see the world as a fun, good place to exist in.
It's obvious that it isn't.
You called it empathy, but it's really compassion.
I'm an atheist because of what I've seen in this world.
The biggest issue is I have trouble with desiring what everyone else wants in this world.
I'll take your advice about trying to broaden my interests though.
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>>18336639
>fun, good place to exist in
Maybe your parents were shit parent. But your sis is ok, so maybe this is just natural selection calling you to give up on life. If i were good troll, i would tell you to reconsider kys. But i am too nice guy for that.
>it isnt
That is debatable. You having internet connection means you probably live in 1st or 2nd world and life is fun. It would be shame to end it prematurely. But these are words from somebody who never had kys thoughts and wasnt abused much as a child. I say man up.
>compassion
Meh. Empathy will allow you to consume certain type of media and cry of joy or sadness because of it. Something children cant, because the brain is still not finished. Try game undertale. Emotional roller coaster. That is if you reached certain brain power yet.
>desiring
Yeah, at your age i also had no idea what i want. Now i have general idea, but still not sure, mostly because like half of my goals from immature me are done. Pretty scary to achieve what you always wanted :-D
And please, stop drinking alcohol as defence against suicide thoughts. That is very lame long term plan. Physical dependency on alcohol is no joke, withdrawal symptoms can kill you if you will go alcoholic route.
It is all in your head. Start by talking to people about your troubles. It costs nothing and you will feel better.
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>>18336615
this makes me so happy to read. This is exactly the type of stories people should hear more about. Not the typical bullshit of; just go out more/just get a gf. Thats not real advice, and for a lot of people is this not ''just a normal and easy thing to do''. Just trust me, if you keep thinking that your life will end nowhere, it probably will. But if you keep an open mind to new things, you'll be surprised by how fast your life can change. (agree to that office party you never went to/ask if your neighbour needs any help/etc).
It seems like stupid and little stuff, but these kind of things are critical to changing your social life.
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>>18336666
I am glad i made you happy mary, but to me this felt like the most unusable humble brag advice ever.
Young kids dont want to hear this stuff. This may work on some old fag, but main posters here are horny teens.
:-)
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>>18336722
yeah, its hard to hear the truth sometimes.
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>>/r9k/37183763
OP is just a massive attention whore crybaby faggot from /r9gay/.
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Find something you love doing and hold on tight to it. Talk to more people (in real life) about your feelings and express yourself. Suicide is the worst choice you have.
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