I am being smeared at the workplace by one person that portrays

One option:

Go to your boss and explain the situation. He will (hopefully) believe you. Propose the following: your boss sends out an email saying that you have been the target of rumors - false rumors - and that he has the full confidence in you. Rumor spreading will not be tolerated at your workplace. Then your boss has a chat with the person in question and slaps his shit around.

But how would I know the content of the smear? I can only guess this with high certainty due to an association in time with an event where the accusing person must have felt ill-treated by me. Nobody has the guts to confront me about it because there's such a stigma. It would be like asking somebody whether they are still beating their wife. Very disrespectful if not true. But due to the vagueness it's also hard to react without admitting.

>>18330140
>But how would I know the content of the smear?
By "content," do you mean person who is spreading the rumor? If you arent sure confront the guy and tell him to stop. If you still arent sure after the meeting, tell your boss you dont know who is spreading it.

You need to deny the rumor either way. Get your message out because people believe whatever they hear. Having your boss deny it gives maximum credibility.

Well hearing a person of authority talk about it could also give it substance.

Also, how would my boss know whether it's true?

And by content I mean that I am only sure that I must be being smeared based on people's behaviour, but don't know what exactly the accusation is. It must be somewhat credible and grave.

>Also, how would my boss know whether it's true?


What the hell, are working at the Spanish inquisition?
Have you ever showed up stoned?
If there is no proof then you are not a stoner

>>18330170
You must have one person at work you know and trust. Talk to him or her. Its possible that you've made the rumor situation up due to anxiety. I've done similar things in my past. Having an outside view will clear the situation up.

>Also, how would my boss know whether it's true?
A good boss will trust the word of a good team member. Your boss will need to make the decision to trust you. If you do a good job he will believe you. If he does not, you have lost his confidence and must resign. But you sound like a good fellow and I'm sure he will believe you.

That's not how rumors work. If one person tells 10 people that you're a pedophile, and of those 3 tell another person the same, that person won't need evidence to believe it.

>>18330186
I don't think so. The rumor is very believable because I'm always exhausted and don't fit in socially. I don't have friends at work although I question many people have. It's a high-stakes career with lots of money and status involved. I don't think my boss trusts anybody, but as long as I'm useful he'll keep me. My concern is that the demeaning behaviour of coworkers, which results in even greater isolation, will drive me insane, as I don't have any out-of-work balance like a spouse or kids that I could focus some positive attention on.

>>18330204
DO WHAT WE TOLD YOU RIGHT NOW BEFORE THE RUMOR ESCALATES YOU FUCKING RETARD. GOOOO

>>18330204
It sounds like your work environment is very punishing. That can be stressful. It is possible that the workplace is not the right fit for you. However, I know you can stabilize the situation by getting your boss's backing.

Your boss will believe you. Trust me. And if he doesnt, your team is dysfunctional and it is time to resign. For your own good and health. You will find a better job.

>>18330213
You told me multiple things. You mean the thing about talking it through with my boss? I don't know, it would be like burdening my boss, who works 100-hour weeks, with my personal problems. I'm sure he's already heard the rumor and deals with it rationally, meaning he thinks it might be true but wants to preserve the value I contribute.

>>18330216
But I have almost no transferable skills and I don't want to move because of a smear.

>>18330239
God dammit, have some fucking self esteem. Burdening your boss, that's what you are worried about?

>>18330239
>I don't want to move because of a smear.
I have given you advice on how to mitigate the problem.

1. Seek outside perspective from your most trusted college in order to clarify your view.
2. Bring up the problem with your boss - who's job it is to deal with these situations and clear any obstacles in your path to success.
3. Ask him to with it appropriately. I have spelled out what I consider appropriate, specifically a company wide email stating his confidence in you and that that rumors are not to be tolerated.

If my advice does not work (it will), your team is dysfunctional. If you team is dysfunctional and you should resign. This is the case for any job and completely unrelated to any rumors. Continuing to work at a dysfunctional workplace is never a good idea.

>I have almost no transferable skills
Wrong. You have experience in a demanding high-stakes career. You have more skills than you know. You dont have a skill problem, you have a self-esteem problem.

>>18330239
It is your boss' job to ensure things go smoothly at work. That is explicitly what he is there for, to ensure shit like this doesn't happen. It isn't burdening him, it's telling him an issue that is directly going to impact your productivity and how people work with you and thereby impact the productivity of all your coworkers too. Stop being an idiot and tell him it.

>>18330255
In this business (and I guess in many other places) it is not the boss' job to sort out the quarrels among the junior employees, and lots of crazy weird people have gone far because the number one thing that it's about is skill.

I probably have low self-esteem, but that wouldn't hold me from talking it through with my boss. It's more that then I would have to answer and probably truthfully because I'm an awful liar and I would probably admit to past marijuana use and I'm not sure that even that's acceptable, also I think giving detailed information on that can only go wrong no matter what info you give. If somebody is suspected to be an alcoholic and he tells you he only drank one drink every two days five years ago then you got your confirmation that he is an alcoholic.

>>18330265
>It is your boss' job to ensure things go smoothly at work.
No, that's the job of us junior employees. His job is to bring in the big money and supervise our work.

>>18330216
>It is possible that the workplace is not the right fit for you.
I have considered that but am at a lack of ideas for alternatives. Although I have saved some money and am well-educated, I'm just no quitter and surely not for some gossiping not sexually-attractive female.

Overall I'm very grateful for your advice as I have been alone with this since beginning of the year, when it started. I thought that maybe due to the association in time with an event that triggered the smearer a case could be made showing that it is a smear. At least that is one argument used in false allegations of child abuse or drug use related to divorce. But here there is simply no authority I could turn to.

>>18330259
>If you team is dysfunctional and you should resign. This is the case for any job and completely unrelated to any rumors.
No, you should resign when you think you are better off that way. I'm not sure about that.

Overall I thought that this is a classical case of female social violence. Character assassination. I have witnessed the smearer smearing other people multiple times and I'm astounded that she seems to be getting away with it. Since my impression is that this is a not too uncommon female behaviour, I would have guessed that somebody more socially apt than me would also know some of the ways to appropriately deal with it. Telling on the other person or any direct reaction is not such a good way I think.

>>18330119

Go to boss or hr and talk. Offer up a drug test.

>>18330392
But a drug test only excludes recent drug use. The loss of trust can also derive from drug use years in the past.

>>18330364
Well the just suck it up you little victim

>>18330417
That's what I did so far, but it doesn't feel good and I feel like somebody who knows about these things, social bullshit at the workplace, would maybe know a remedy. That's why I came here.

Also I'm probably bigger than you.

>>18330439
stfu faggot

talk to your boss about it or talk to your workmates

>>18330439
Ok, I know what kind of advice you want so here it goes:

Go to the end of the rainbow and collect the wand of fixeverythinguh, the just wave it and *POOF* , your problems will go away!!


Or talk to your goddamn boss and stop making excuses for him before you even try.

>>18330509
OK I get you

>>18330119
Put some drugs in the rumor starters drink or food just enough to have it in his/her system, make sure you are clean, demand a drug test for you and the person starting the rumor, demand it in front of everyone so they will feel obligated to take it, you pass they fail you win

>>18330119
buy a subscription to some type of fucked up porn magazine with the rumor starters name on it and the companies address

>>18330622
Sounds fun but drug tests in the workplace are not common here and I'd be hard pressed to conjure a situation where this could happen.

>>18330627
I thought about something like that but it's not righteous and it could be traced back to me.

A key problem is that I don't have "due process" in that I don't have proof that the slanderer is the slanderer and I don't know the exact wording of the slander. Otherwise I would perhaps have real legal possibilities.

>>18330648
Pay a flaming homosexual from craigslist $50 to come in your work place and ask for who ever wronged you and say "________ left his sunglasses in my car this weekend hehe..id like to return them" boda bing boda boom the rumor starter is now a suspected homo

>>18330658
But she's female so it wouldn't be gay but hot. Although she's fat. Also where she works you can't get in without an id card.

>>18330666
well have someone come in pretending to be a representative for golden corral and deliver no trespassing order fuck I cant think of everything

>>18330119
Take a voluntary drug test and file threaten with lawsuit on company or individual for slander.