Test /adv, can you fall in love with someone you're not

have any of you been in a similar situation?

You let yourself get brainwashed because you weren't strong enough to end it for good.

Give up, get married and have a boring life or man the fuck up and leave her for something better.

>/adv, can you fall in love with someone you're not attracted to?

Of course? Like, love is different than physical attraction. That much should be obvious. Love is a deep affection and steadfast devotion. Of course you can love all sorts of people who should be deeply unattractive to you. (Like a mothers love for her child, to give an extreme example). To love someone necessitates that it goes beyond their appearance, beyond your own emotion, and sometimes beyond most anything else. (Like when you love someone with alzheimers).

For a physical/sexual relationship, physical attraction might be important, depending, and sex is important to marriage and family. Maybe you'd be better off as deeply loving friends. Its up to you.

>>18329043
>She was chubby before and as time has went on she became obese

KEK

>>18329043
Wow OP. This is my exact situation. But I recently left my girl. I never tried to break up with her before. Just one day after 7 years I decided the pros didn't outweigh the cons anymore. Our relationship was like yours seems to be where we would hardly ever fight.
The thing I learned about women is that they all will eventually let themselves go in some way. So if you get with a girl that you can barely tolerate eventually its going to turn into my situation where barely tolerable turns into won't tolerate. I hop you the best in sorting out your situation.
Has she asked you about her weight at all? What's the conversation like. Because my ex put on weight also. It wasn't just that. She got to comfortable in the relationship. Which is the number one killer.

>so when we have a terrible fight once a year(as all couples do)

no, not everyone have a terrible fight once a year
you are just too used to it
this is not a question of attraction but the fact you have a non functioning relationship and you are too afraid to end it because you "love her"

but go ahead and wait a few more years so you can make a victim out of yourself later

>>18329043
I assume you are younger, 20-30. This seems less important now, but problems with attraction hurt long term relationships down the road when you get married. People have a hard enough time when they lose attraction to the partner they were once attracted to, so consider that when you think about staying with her.

If it were me, I would not have had a second date. Although I have fugged some uggos.

If you are worried that there isn't anyone out there for you and this is the best you can get, that is a self fulfilling prophecy.

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I'm afraid I'm the girl in your relationship, OP. Girlfriend just decided she has to take a break from our relationship after realizing that she doesn't have the same attraction and longing for me that her girl friends have for their boyfriends. She explained to a mutual friend that I am the perfect husband for her and have all the qualities she could ask for in a relationship, but she hasn't always found me attractive and mentioned that being 22, I'm not going to get any more good looking from here (I think this much is foolish).
Anyway, OP, had my girlfriend just told me that this was an issue, I could have done things to remedy it earlier on before she felt the need to end things. Tell your girlfriend what you want from her and that this is the only thing that's missing from your relationship. If she knows that, I imagine she'll be happy to start losing weight to make you happier. If she doesn't think this, then you have to decide whether or not a sure lifelong loving companion is worth more or less than a shot at a temporarily more attractive one.
I really think you can work through this. Maybe start a couple's workout program and improve yourself along with her.

>>18329291

It's not so much the weight, obviously that's a huge contributor. I'm just not that attracted to her face

I have deep love and devotion to her. We even have great sex. I am attracted to her and I have no issues getting up(high labido) but I don't find her physically attractive.

When we go out with her friends I find myself significantly more physically attracted to her girlfriends than her.

She was very resistant and avoidant and would get very angry or cry if you mentioned in. Now she's finally realized on her own that it's become a serious issue and is trying to lose the weight. Taking active steps and improving her diet. She wouldn't listen to me until she realized it herself. I wish she'd realized it sooner but oh well.

Make it a fun thing that just the two of you do, get into /out/ and /ck/ with her. Go hiking this year. As you both get older you'll run into health problems, albiet she will probably suffer hers sooner.

>>18330770

It's not about her weight. I'm just not very physically attracted to her. I like chubby girls(but have a bigger perefence for average weight due to better health and being more active)

>>18331605
Idk, unless her face is busted to shit why would this be a dealbreaker this far into the relationship?

>>18329043
>She was chubby before and as time has went on she became obese.

You done fucked up

>>18329043
Please just give her mercy and leave her. My boyfriend has not slept with me for a year yet he won't admit that he's not attracted to me anymore. Realizing that your partner doesn't have eyes for you is a fucked up feeling you feel day to day. She loves you and deaperately wants you to desire her but she won't let go of you even though you will never see her that way. Please leave and let her be with someone who actually makes her feel like a woman. How would you feel if the love of your life didn't want to fuck you and never admired your looks?

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>>18331893
Ugh. Stop acting like the woman has no free will. She could break up with him at anytime if she's unhappy.

>>18331893

We have sex often. Good sex. as I have a very high labido. In fact whenever we went through phases where we didn't have sex was due to her.

>>18329043
Mature people fall in love with the person inside the body. And once they do that, they usually discover that they find the outside packaging more attractive or at least irrelevant.

>>18329043
Lol gross one of those losers that regret fucking a disgusting pig that is clearly an ugly embarrassment.

>>18329043
here's the thing. Women who aren't very attractive end up on the same playing field as a lot of men are in. They have to build a personality to gain social approval, where in attractive people pretty much get acceptance handed to them.

Since it seems to be an issue for you, considering you're posting about it in such a manor, then leave her. Just be persistent and let her know.

Don't expect to find solid personalities afterwards though, just know you won't be dealing with this issue.

>/adv
It's /adv/
Stop triggering my fucking autism

>after a year of multiple break up attempts i gave up and accepted that she was now my gf
my sides are orbiting the sun

>>18332675
Because people with trophy partners are so well-adjusted. Sage advice anon.