>invested most of my lifetime, all of my energy and most of

Don't quit gaming if you like it, but don't force yourself to play games. Try doing something else, you will get back to gaming when you feel like it.

I play lots of video games myself, I play daily. Once I had a time that I didn't play for 2 months because I didn't feel like it.

>>18324247
Interests change over time, it's an inevitable part of maturing. Sometimes you'll just grow to be totally disinterested in something that once fascinated you. It's why you often seen accomplished people who have been handy different things over time (rock climber, business owner, oil rig worker, etc), it's often not out of necessity but out of changing interests.

I've found that at times things that stopped interesting me have started too again for a while.

It's just change, it's normal, and it's pretty normal to be afraid of it, like you are, but it's inevitable - it's the usual state of being. If you want to have a happy life, stop fearing the change and just see where it takes you. You don't have to throw away, sell or otherwise get rid of your games. Justbox them up, put them away and look for your next interest. There's always another thing to come, and as long as you aren't afraid to embrace it you'll find yourself engrossed in it.

>>18324259
it's the only thing I have left

anxiety and over a decade of severe depression has finally caused me to go through with nearly complete social suicide, i.e. i only have one person left aside from people I'm forced to work with to talk to at all anymore - well, and strangers on the internet
all that because I'm a waste of human life, I'm not just a horrible person but I'm literally such trash that it took me so many years to finally snap for the better and protect everyone else by complete isolation

it does make me feel lonelier than ever though, I don't know what the fuck to do, I sometimes just want to walk away into a forest or something, sit there and chill with a beer and some mp3s and shit - but then the anxiety hits me and I automatically walk to my deathly depressing home just to sit at my computer all day again before I get tired enough to sleep for a few hours before work and repeat

every night before I can sleep I contemplate suicide, but I somehow always convince myself that it's best if it comes naturally - yet I can't stop habitually thinking that I want to just drop dead, I even occasionally wish with my whole heart and soul to be overrun on my way to work just to stop being a burden to everybody

I guess the same happened to me. I played counter strike competitively for years and then eventually I just lost interest in it. It happened pretty quickly. I'm sure there were times when I thought "what the fuck am I supposed to do with my time now?" but eventually other things just moved in and now I don't really think about it. A couple of times a year I decide to play through quake 2 or borderlands or something like that but other than gaming has completely fallen out of my life. Don't lose sleep over it...

>>18324262
I actually tried something like that just months ago, I disassembled my computer and stashed everything away for over a month, literally just to see how I would feel about it, and instead I just got stuck sitting with my phone in my room and developed neck cramps, so I thought fuck it I'll just get back to my pc

it's like I have desires, I have urges, I have needs - but my body, my entire being, can't follow through with any of it due to incomprehensible laziness/lack of motivation/etc

I want, but I habitually convince myself that I can't?

try csgo if you haven't already.. the matchmaking experience is usually so captivating that you forget everything else during that time. and you dont need to spend money on it except skins if you want which you can sell again. just don't open cases

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OP again

also I suppose I have an extreme addiction or something -against- "wasting", like I can get completely immobilized and stuck overthinking for days on end if the idea even begins that I'd be "wasting" anything - time, money, energy, effort, love, hunger, happiness, etc..

I have over 800 games on Steam alone, and every console with every game I'd want, I have spent so fucking much money and I keep spending more because I want to get stuck with that one game for 2500 hours again just to feel a sliver of joy in being alive again

suddenly quitting using my pc, quitting playing any games even when I don't enjoy them, would still be "wasting away all the hours and money I spent on it all in the first place"

>>18324282
Did you try doing something meaningful then? Something that's no a waste, like preparing your own food for work or working out, going for a jog. I know it sounds hackneyed, but you will have less time for video games, and feel better for doing something healthy.

Maybe you just need to talk to yourself or meditate.

I know you can solve this and get back on your feet OP.

>>18324282
When op realizes that everything is meaningless, there's no thing as joy, happiness....

>>18324297
the only thing meaningful I do I guess, is work
I... sort of like working, but I also hate working because "I could be home spending these hours getting interested in a game again"´, I dislike the people I work with but the customers I meet every day make me feel ever so slightly alive with their witty comments and shit

I eat cup noodles most of the time, it's what I can "afford"......

I've wanted to work out for years, I want to lose weight, I want to get strong, but I absolutely dread everything on the road to it - the feeling of getting warm and the feeling of sweat both actually cause me genuine irritation, even anger and disgust, plus if I for any reason would get hurt by over-exercising it would make me perform worse at my job

I don't really go for jogs, but I walk to- and from my job, that's almost two hours a day at a slow pace though, because I dread that disgusting, sticky, itchy feeling of sweat

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>>18324247
>Enjoy drawing
>Have been drawing since I was 10
>Now I'm 20, and I still like drawing as it's a good deal of Fun and novelty
>When I started losing interest in vidya, I drew a lot more, but all that work reinvigorated my desire to have some play time

Maybe you need to quit playing video games and try something new for a while.

I recommend you load up some Rust. It's a very boring game that almost feels like work.

It's this mixture of pseudo labor and extreme excitement that makes it a fun game for people that are post video games.

>>18324320
I got Rust when it just came out on Steam and after just a few hours I lost interest, and it doesn't seem like it's gotten anywhere since

>>18324320
Here's a fair warning though:

Rust will eventually get old too despite the fact that it also NEVER gets old.

When that happens, I take a big long break from video games in general.

>>18324322
>When it came out on steam

Dude, it's a totally different game now.
You should try it again, but this time, you should devote some time into it. Don't stop until you get a revolver.

They've got maps in game and everything.

>>18324247
When I was still pretty poor I spent like 1500k to upgrade my PC for Witcher 3 and before I bought 500GB PS3 just to play GTA V at release. Haven't touched either afterwards. Shit happens. Don't stress over the money already spent, sunk cost fallacy is a bitch, yes it blows but regrets aren't of any use. Just try to learn for your mistakes. All the time you waste on thinking about how you wasted your time is a much, much bigger waste. The future is what matters.

Now learning from mistakes would be not spending any more money on this crap and not wasting your time like that.

>i can enjoy taking a walk and listen to music outside
That's something, now try to find a hobby that is more than a pure waste of time. ANYTHING where you learn new skills and create something will do. When you need a break, you still have all of your gayman shit.

>>18324361
Woops, there is a comma missing.