Real talk. How do you talk to girls in a way that makes you seen

Thanks for the advice guys, I really appreciate that

>>18317794
just b chad

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I guess they were right, /adv/ really is one of the worst boards. How unfortunate

Try being more patient and less of a passive-aggressive pissant, women really hate that. Being above the age of 12 also helps.

>>18317866
Are you going to give advice or just be a pussy that think everyone acts like you?

you have to do extremely bold things that cross the line. let yourself get a noticeable erection while you're talking to a girl and direct her attention to it. sounds crazy but it's a huge turnon for them, whether they know you well or not, even if they don't find you otherwise attractive. take her hand and put it on your crotch, or start caressing her inner thigh. tell her about the kind of porn you masturbate to. basically do anything that seems like it would totally be the wrong thing, and she will melt. there's a reason people tell you to "behave" a certain way--because they want to keep you down.

>>18317870
Some things just can't be fixed, Anon, the sooner you accept that the sooner you can get around to killing yourself.

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>>18317892
>>18317902

>>18317794
I don't think there is a good way to do that honestly. Either you are hitting on them or you are their friends. It's like one of those things that need to be established immediately.

It's very hard to start hitting on someone you are normally always talking to. I think you will always be creepy at that moment because suddenly you are betraying their image of you (and somehow their trust).
Maybe if it is a person you haven't met IRL it would be easier to first be friends and then go on a date.

And how? Be honest, be flirty. Compliment their appearance. Don't start with "I wanna shove my dick between your titties".

in the best case scenario, it's not needed at all because she was already interested in you beforehand, in a second best scenario you don't have to do it until like the third date or so (if you want something serious) And that sexuality is more talking through your hands and actions than anything.

Anything else is already creepy to begin with.

>>18317926
Thanks man, how do you usually introduce yourself, if I may ask?

>>18317794
Creepy literally just means unattractive.
If you want to be seen as sexual, be more attractive.

Try and be funny. Women love guys that make them laugh. While doing this you can maybe get a little touchy.

>>18317794
Be attractive

>all these defeatists ITT

Talk to them like you would a friend, they'll feel safe. Then sex jokes, they'll start subconciously thinking of how it's be to fuck you. if the response continues to be positive you're in glad I could help

>>18317950
Not same but just say hi and hold eye contact. Make sure u smile.

>>18317926
>Either you are hitting on them or you are their friends. It's like one of those things that need to be established immediately.
Tell me more about this

>>18318306
Don't listen to that guy unless you are chasing sluts for a quick fuck, it doesn't work that way.

FLIRTING. Dump incoming.

Asking how to flirt in itself is kind of like asking how to have a conversation. There is no golden way to do it. What's appropriate in one context isn't in another. What's sexy to one person isn't to another. What comes natural to one person feels awkward to another. So it is about finding both your own (signature) style, and how to adjust that according to the situation and the person you're interacting with.

The first step is realizing what flirting really is. Flirting is essentially playing for adults. You are not necessarily signaling that you want to fuck someone. You are more covertly pointing someone's attention to sexuality, to the sexual potential that exists between the two of you (like it does between all people), or even just the possibility of finding each other attractive. It's just a cheeky little nudge. This is generally speaking, of course. Flirting can be used to downright seduce someone or even for business arrangements. But generally speaking.

The way you do this is by implicitly showing that you have either interest in this person, or just interest in sex/women itself, without showing your hand and spelling out that you want to date/fuck her. That's boring. People like to chase, they like to wonder and fantasize. If you make it clear right away that you are into someone, you appear on their radar as a ready suitor, and people just do not find that as exciting/sexy as having a build up where you're still a free man who might like them and might not like them. Sexiness has quite some to do with emotional risk, which is why sex tends to stall as a relationship grows safer and more comfortable in other aspects.

>>18318319

So what you are doing by flirting [assuming for a moment you are flirting because you like her and want to date her] is allowing her to contemplate you as a potential boyfriend, a potential lover, before being an available option to her yet.
People tend to think really simplistically about falling in love, they think that person A chases person B and then something might happen. In real life it's a dance. People like people who show interest in them and are friendly to them. And are nicer to people who interest them and they find attractive. So it's like a cycle where being attracted to someone makes them more attracted to you - because you treat them better, you smile more, you pay attention to what they say, you pay closer attention to how you present yourself. Plus mere exposure effect (people are more likely to fall for someone they see a lot, like a neighbor or colleague). So most often person A does something tiny (smile at B). B notices and appreciates this so next time B will ask A if they also want coffee if they're getting anyway. Person A thinks, how nice, looks at B's ass while getting coffee, and so on.
Flirting is another way to sort of push this whole process forward. By flirting with someone well you can put yourself on the map even if your looks alone (or other stuff about yourself) didn't instantly garner their attention.

I promise all this stuff is important because only if you realize what you are exactly trying to do you can fully analyze how you do it, why stuff went wrong and so on.


Next part is, okay, this is what flirting does, but what does it look like. Well, it comes in many different forms.
This is because people have their personal style that they are still bold enough to do, or that turns them on the most, or that otherwise comes most natural to them.

The most common, universal way of flirting is not hiding your natural signs of attraction.

>>18318322

Most people feel vulnerable and a bit embarrassed to like someone they harbor feelings for someone. They feel stupid or like this person is out of their league. So what they do is they make sure to not look at them too much, to break off eye contact before it gets "weird", to -really- watch themselves when it comes to checking out her body.
Most normal flirting is to not do that. Let her see that you look down at her mouth from time to time while she talks. That you look into her eyes more and longer, that you stand just a little closer. Touch her in little ways (safe options are tapping her shoulder/arm before asking something, or nudging her to something interesting going on - make sure to touch her fast and lightly). Don't hide that just looking at her face makes you smile a little.
If you can tell she's into it - bit flushed, big pupils, leaning forward, touching you back - you can amp it up. She complains about her clothes or body? Do a quick but deliberate up and down and tell her "looks great". (Or "you look great" depending on just how enthusiastic she is.) Look at her ass when she's walking away. If she turns around don't act like you were watching something else, throw up your hands or give a "you caught me" kind of grin.

This is essentially "vanilla flirting". Another example of this is simply being extra nice - doing her tiny little favors, remembering the little stuff.
There are many other ways. Will try to get into them in a bit but before that, let me get to your question about discomfort.

The idea with these things is that you see if she wants to interact with you like this. You try something small and elaborate on that if it works and you can tell she's interested in flirting back. If not, you back off. It's not like you go from 0 to 100 out of nowhere. There's ample time to realize that the chemistry isn't there. People are awkward and try to avoid explicit rejections at all costs. Her real, initial rejection will be painless.

>>18318325
That will take the form of a lack of smiling, acting like she doesn't get the joke or provocation, not looking you in the face. Only if you turn a blind eye towards her non-verbal signs that she's not interested in this shit, will you get called out and have an uncomfortable situation.
There's always lunatics but again, by far most sane people would themselves feel embarrassed to call you out and would much rather not even let it get to that stage to begin with. So they hope you take their cue first.

Other ways of flirting. The only thing they all have in common is that you are essentially singling a person out and not hiding that you are singling them out. Whether you are singling them out by complimenting them or by playfully insulting them doesn't matter much. This is a matter of what you feel most comfortable with and what works best in your own experience.

Let's look at "insulting" flirting. This might seem confusing at surface level, but I like to compare it to banter among guys. What you have to pay attention to is not that at surface level the guy is calling his friend a pussy (or whatever). What matters is the underlying implication: they are good enough friends that he does not have to treat his friend "politely" all the time. That they both know that at the end of the day, they like each other a lot.
Being vulgar and/or "mean" is like an extreme form of being informal, in this case. If you are standing with two co-workers, and one says that qt is going to do x job, you saying "Qt?? With no supervisor??" with exaggerated shock does not tell her that you think she's incompetent. It tells her that you like to rag on her and that you trust she'll know your intentions. That you are inviting her to fuck with you (not even literally, necessarily), inviting her into a more playful dynamic where they don't stick to office etiquette necessarily.

Note how the examples I mention aren't particularly smooth or quoteworthy.

>>18318328
Sure that's partly because I'm making them up on the spot, but also because real life flirting is often kind of cringeworthy or lame/corny to outsiders. It resembles infatuated love babble a lot in that regard.
The thing is: picture a really pretty, cute girl giving you a compliment. Would you be thrown off if that compliment was a bit weird? Fuck no, that would be endearing. In real life the very fact that someone is showing (sexual, romantic) interest is so exciting that it changes the way you look at what's actually said. In a movie where flirting is all cool and witty, the viewer doesn't have those emotions so it needs to be a lot "better" to feel as exciting as normal flirting does in real life.

Either way, back to flirting styles. Try a lot of things. Everyone has things they can do while feeling comfortable and self-respecting, and things that make them feel stupid. Some people can wink unironically, others cringe just imagining it. So start out with stuff that is still within your comfort zone and try to expand that comfort zone. Nothing but practice will make you more sensitive towards the cues that someone else is flirting with you, that they are enjoying it (or getting bored), that you have gone too far or can actually go much further.

Anyway I have completely lost my initial train of thought for this whole monsterinfothing but I hope this is helpful. If you have specific questions I have not addressed I'll lurk for at least another twenty minutes or so.

>>18318335
Okay thought of two more things I forgot. The easiest way to know whether someone flirts with you or not (if you are not that experienced yet) is looking at whether you are the exception for them, whether they single you out.
A girl giggling and playing with her hair around you could mean she likes you, or maybe it's just what she does. What she does or does not do in absolute terms (assuming it isn't straight up kissing you or inviting you over) matters less than how that compares to how she treats other people. Some people can't flirt at all - if a woman is really sociable and extroverted around everyone, but shy and flustered around you, that's a great sign.

And secondly, just realized that most people think more of sexual jokes/comments when they think of flirting. Those absolutely can be incorporated. If you have a more bold flirting style you can like to drop a sexual comment to a woman - not even necessarily aimed towards her, just, actively putting sex on her mind and making her scramble for a reply. For most people this is way too much to ask/pull off confidently, and explicit sexual references are more something for a further stage when sexual tension has already been established.

Oh and thirdly, you can get away with A LOT as long as you don't act like it's a big deal yourself. One last example: a woman is in your bed after sex, she grins at you, lazily rolls over to kiss you and purrs into your ear "oh by the way I totally lied about being on the pill, I'm going to steal your sperm and everything, how do you feel about that mister?"
Second scenario: she's sitting on the bed giving you a slightly twitchy smile going "h-heh wouldn't it be funny if I lied about being on the pill...? I could steal your sperm..."
First is playing around between lovers, second is CREEPY as fuck. People are not that great at separating how people present themselves from who they actually are (and it often does save time) so if you are nervous you look guilty.

>>18318338
You sir are a genius!

Thinking about the relationships that worked versus the ones that didn't while reading this brought attention to what the problem was the whole time. Thank you.

>>18317892
Ok. NO do not do this

This is sexual assault.

You want to flirt with girls op? You need a strong personality. Strong attitude. Confidence.

Express yourself calmly but firmly. Hit on them. Tell them their eyes or hair is great and that it makes you feel butterflies or some shit

>>18318338
I really appreciate what you wrote there anon

Put things really in perspective, thanks!

>>18317794
Just flirt dummy. That's the point of flirting-to demonstrate sexual interest.

It's not creepy unless you say something creepy. They may stop being your friends if that's what you are worried about.

I've never had a guy I wasn't interested in flirt with me and think he was creepy. The only guys I've ever found creepy were the ones who followed me home or stared me down.

>>18318311
I'm female and that'd be true for me. I know when I first meet someone if they'll ever be a romantic interest. After that you'll either be a friend or a stranger.

That's not to say, only flirt. It does mean that you should be flirting within the first conversation.

If you're not upfront about your interest then it just seems like you were pretending to be my friend to get in my pants and I'd feel a bit violated/like my trust had been broken.

It wouldn't make that person creepy but we'll certainly never be close after that.

>>18319080

>Within the first conversation

That is just ridiculous..

Imagine the best looking woman in the world. A perfect 10/10. She comes up to you and she whispers into your ear "I got wet the moment I saw you. My mind is going to explode if you don't start fucking me in the next 5 minutes.". Does that sound hot to you?

Now imagine a disfigured landwhale. 350lbs, sweaty, acne on her face, huge nose. She comes up to you and she whispers into your ear "I got wet the moment I saw you. My mind is going to explode if you don't start fucking me in the next 5 minutes.". Does that sound hot to you?

See, it's the same for women. It doesn't really matter what you say as much as how attractive you are. If you're a dirty, sweaty, fat, disfigured neckbeard it doesn't matter what you say, you'll be creepy no matter what if you try to be sexual. And if you're really attractive you'll be liked no matter what you say, as long as it's not something extremely stupid.

Well I'm oversimplifying it, what you say can be attractive or unattractive, but compared to your appearance it's almost insignificant. Again, unless you're saying something really stupid.

>>18319086
No it's not. You don't have to ask them out or try to pick them up but you should definitely be flirting.

>>18319140
You are speaking in such extremes that your point is almost meaningless. Most people aren't 350-lbs disfigured landwhales, nor perfect 10/10s. Most people are average. For men especially, there is a lot of wiggle room in sexual attractiveness. A slightly below average-looking man can be attractive if he is charismatic and funny. Anyway, I like what that other anon said about sexual potential. With most people there is a very small window, where you are "maybe" attracted to someone upon first meeting them, and flirting is the act of widening it. Of course, if you are in the bottom tier of looks (subjectively defined by who you are flirting with) then there's no potential to be widened.

>>18318319
>>18318322
>>18318325
>>18318328
>>18318335
>>18318338
man this shit is way too complicated

i'm just going to continue jerking off or fuck guys

>>18319769
Lol funny

>>18317829
Pretty much this

You can't "talk to girls in a way that makes you seen in a sexual way to them." You can just look sexy and hope they find you sexy. If you try to "talk" sexy you will 100% without fail just end up looking creepy.

>>18319781
This is wrong though.

>>18319824
But it's not

Nobody can convince a girl they're sexy by talking to them. You either look sexy and don't fuck it up or you don't look sexy and you fail completely and look creepy.

>>18317847
>billionth thread created by an underage teenager asking for advice with girl problems
>WAAAH WHY IS NO ONE HELPING
Choke on a mountain of dicks, you faggot.

im interested in some girl in the mall who works at mcdonalds...dont really know how to ask for her number though. iv been told its kind of rude to ask when someone is at work..but i never see her when she is not at work. should i maybe give her a note that has my number on it then leave it to her?

>>18317892
Can guarantee this works.

obviously you have to do the Naked Man
only solution

>>18319769
Every social interaction is crazy complicated if broken down like this. You don't experience it as difficult because it's ingrained and you have intuition and what not. Every person you talk to, you remember to make eye contact, not stand too close, both listen and talk, adjust your vibe if they have an extreme mood (like not being all cheery if they're visibly depressed), let how well you know each other impact how long you talk and how personal the details you share are, and so on.
Yet this is something you never think about at all, it comes naturally.

My advice is to go research this on google or youtube. I know that sounds mean or rude but google is actually ridiculously good and people on here don't use it enough. There should be tons of videos and articles out there on this sort of thing.

Only real advice I can give is to prioritize getting into really good shape and getting a good haircut and good outfit. The more attractive you look the less you have to try to get these sexual vibes going. You also feel much better and much more confident when you're in good shape so it's much easier for you to feel comfortable communicating sexual vibes as well. And in about 2 years of proper lifting and training with a smart program that gets you the best results asap you can look hotter than most people on earth. Lift and pack on the muscle, then cut to a low bodyfat % where you have all the definition and abs. And there you go. /fit/ sticky and reddit fitness section gets you started on this really well.

>>18318328
>>18318325
>>18318322
>>18318319
>>18318338

Thank you, really
>>18318335

>>18318319
Yo dude you should write a book on this shit. I'm autistic af and honestly all this is real helpful. Seriously dude, thank you. Someone sticky this or something

>>18318328
>Let's look at "insulting" flirting.
Is this being tsun?

>>18317794
Creepy behavior = unwanted attention.

To not be creepy, learn social cues and do not push the line if a girl is giving you clear "NO" signals.

If you are handsome, there is less of a chance of coming off as creepy. If a girl is taken or clearly not interested in you, you will come off creepy if you are sexual.

Also don't just say something sexual.
You just have to indicate that you find her attractive and go from there.
Saying something like "hey cutie, what's up?" Is the level you should start at, not "so what kind of porn do u masterbate to?"

>>18317794
>)Mon)06:06:20
>How do you blah blah blah. I was never taught this.

>>18317825
>(Mon)06:21:07
>Thanks for the advice guys, I really appreciate that

Rofl holy shit dude. No wonder you ain't having any luck. Passive aggressive and entitled much?

Look man no one TEACHES you this shit.

Stop being jelly over shitty hallmark movies that have no correlation to real life, crying that no ones handing you shit on a silver platter.

You LEARN this shit, ON YOUR OWN, through first hand experience. Try, fail, learn, improve, repeat. Over and over and fucking over til you figure out what works for you.

Even IF someone told you what to do, it probably wouldn't work because everyone has their own personality and way of communication which of course means that everyone also has their own style when it comes to dealing with women.