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So i've had this.. situation in the last few months.
I met this girl on twitter who's 16 (i'm 20) we started talking frequently and it kinda got... you know. It got to a point where i visited her.
We were both awkward and all, but somehow spent the day together. We both liked Touhou so some small conversations happened, but nothing big. I did buy her some expensive headphones as a gift though when i was walking with her. And some chocolates. Both of which i suggested.
We weren't really doing anything past some hugs. But i started to feel very insecure and i'd sometimes send her messages where i'd just apologize for being awkward etc. I think her opinion of me deteriorated because of that, though i'm not sure. We texted each other regularly then.
I helped her with some auction of stuff she wanted, it was some doujinshi merch that had a pretty high shipping fee. She told me she would pay me back. After i won the auction, she asked if giving me money right aways' fine. I said yes, but she didn't give it back. Then when i asked a few days later she said she'll give it in May. I got a bit suspicious.
I wanted to visit her for a 2nd time so we could watch some stuff together, i booked a room for that specifically in her town. Kept asking her if that's still good to go. She said yes everytime. But when i got there, texted her when we would meet up, she told me her mother got -really- pissed at her, and she had to help her with something for the whole day (smelled bullshit on that too). So i basically wasted money both getting there and booking the place.
She has not texted me or started any sort of conversation with me since. Which made me really worried and suspicious. I had very high hopes for that person because we were similar in a lot of ways, and we had legit sweet moments before. Now it's hard for me to move on from that in any way. I don't know if she'll pay me back for that auction stuff. Really not sure what to do. I wanted her as a friend at the very least
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You're dating a child. Don't be surprised when she acts like one.
Grow up, move on and meet someone closer to your own age.
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>>18312514
I understand the view point of this advice. I however, have some hopes, however faint they may be, that she'll grow up in a way, and not treat me that way. I'm not sure.
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>>18312516
She probably will, but not until her early twenties. I highly doubt she will entertain you for that long.
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>>18312506
Call it a loss, and move on. You won't be seeing your money back.
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>>18312522
While i don't care about the money that much, i just wish the possible relationship didn't end the way it did.
I never really was a sociable person, and before i met her, i gave no shits about having someone. Now that the things went the way they did, i can't stop thinking about shit like loneliness, being socially awkward etc. It's like meeting this person who you never thought existed, but then everything went to shit for unknown reasons. I'm not sure if i should confront her in any way about it or not. Or just spontaneously cut contact. I don't know what closure to bring to this.
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>>18312506
>A 16 year old doing things like that.
Shes going to be a real nice one when she grows up.
/Sarcasm
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>>18312661
I feel that way sometimes, too. It just hurts the most though. She had some traumatic experiences though, that's what kept her from any healthy relationship. I do not know what that was though. I speculate rape.
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>i bought her an expensive gift first time we met
>i'd sometimes send her messages where i'd just apologize for being awkward etc
>i lend her money for fucking dojinshi of all things
First of all never do this kind again.
It's over. You're a sucker who was too invested in a relationship where the other person didn't care much (maybe didn't care at all). You're most likely not getting your money back, but make sure it's not completely wasted and you at least learn a lesson from this.
You were needy and didn't even try to figure out if she actually likes you and cares for you or not. You tried to please her, but didn't care if she wanted to please you too. This isn't how a relationship should work, it should be mutual and balanced. Keep that in mind for the next time and don't get blinded by your feelings, otherwise you risk of wasting a lot more time, money, energy and sanity on this kind of shit.
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>>18312731
Harsh, but respectable. Thank you.
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>>18312731
Good comment. Also, perhaps try visiting church services. Girls who go there and genuinely believe what is being taught might be your best bet (but only if they really believe). You seem to be too kind and most women, even generally decent ones, will either abuse that in some way or not respect you. And this is not something you should change, you should just look for a compatible girl. When you do strike a match, both of you will hit jackpot.
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>>18312992
Thanks, but i'm not really that sort of person. While i live in a country that's like 99% roman catholic, i myself am not really a believer. Idk if i'll find someone who has much in common with me, but that's not the most important thing right now to me. I just need to deal with her, and do it in a way that doesn't hurt me even more.
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>>18312506
You tried to buy a girlfriend through expensive gifts.
Hopefully, you learned your lesson. It's a high price, so learn it well.
The best part is, you didn't lose that much. A couple of hundred bucks. Big deal.
Be relieved you didn't get a statutory rape charge and 20 years in ass rape jail.
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>>18313122
Worst part is, i had no intention of buying her off, but it came out as that because of this uncontrolled altruism. It's a lesson i certainly learned, but it's a shame i didn't have anyone next to me kicking me in the ass hard enough for this reckless shit.
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