How do I stop being such a coward? I've been struggling

>>18308721
i genuinely believe the book Gorilla Mindset will help you

>>18308721
I understand how you feel anon. Have you spoken to your best friend at all? He should easily be able to help you out to do with this type of stuff.

Just in case I'll offer my input. The only thing that is holding you back from starting a conversation is yourself, I understand how intense that feeling can be but you have to push through it, the worst case scenario is that you just say hi to each other and that is it, nothing horrible can come out of this.

The best thing to do is have good general knowledge like the latest news, most popular sport etc. this way you can talk about this type stuff without trying to think of a way to carry on the conversation.

To do with Tinder it's just a hookup app, speak for like five minutes with teasing and tell her to come round yours for sex, first time in a long time is scary but just do it.

>>18308733
I'll definitely look into it. Thanks.

>>18308743
I've complimented his ability to speak to anyone without hesitation. He told me something similar - what his worst case scenario is, and I just realized how different our worries are. I asked him how he's able to approach any woman and ask her out, and he told me "The worst thing that can happen is she tells me she has a boyfriend", but I can think of a million worse things that could happen.

And I don't know how to turn this off - how to look at it from the same perspective as he looks at it.

Yeah, like I said, I generally don't have problems speaking once I'm there, it's just the start that's tough for me.

As for Tinder, I live in a small country, and Tinder isn't looked at as a hookup app for most people, especially girls.

Your fear of rejection is most likely a manifestation of some underlying trauma, which means you will benifit greatly from cognitive behavioral therapy, but without a doubt this manifestation has festered into an anxiety disorder, probably an SSRI will literally cure you of this affliction. If i was you, I'd get the pills first, then hit a cognative behavioral therapist once a week. They'll teach you techniques and skills to help cope with the anxiety, which will inevitably vanish with long term practice and medication

What helps me when I feel anxious around people like how you've explained is taking a deep breath and think/whisper "It's ok".
It might not make me get over the anxiousness at that time but it atleast helps me to accept the feeling of shyness, shame or anger or whatever sensation I'm feeling and not struggle against it. Like telling whatever is causing me to feel anxious that it's ok to feel this but that I don't have to let it affect my actions.
Also, the best thing I've incorporated into my life is meditation. It makes it easier to handle these feelings and give overall increased sense of my mind's workings.

>>18308792
All OP basically said is that he's shy.
I hardly think popping SSRIs is even necessary, but cognitive therapy would definitely be of help.

>>18308805
Being shy is one thing, but I think he meets the standard diagnostic criteria for social anx disorder