I've just got into a new relationship with a guy I've

Just take it slow (the blowjobs). Since you already talked to him about it, I'm sure he would be perfectly fine with you licking the side of his dick, maybe putting it in your mouth (and becoming silently disgusted) and then just hopping on top. I'd say, as long as you make up for the tease with instant sex, no biggie. I've been with girls who didn't like it either and I just let them do their own thing. One girl would only give me head when she was freakishly horny because she was so self conscious about it otherwise and it didn't bother me at all. Blowjobs are cool but I'd much rather have sex anyway. The horny blowjobs eventually happened enough that she stopped feeling so scared and I would get them at random times too.

Just warm up to it on your own time.

A lot of girls these days don't give blow jobs, and their guys usually are or at least feel like doormats. I know it'll be hard and take some time to get used to, but try to do it if you really care about the guy and your relationship. Getting or not getting blown makes the difference between feeling like a man and feeling like a doormat.

You are not obligated to perform any sexual act.

He is not obligated to stay if he is unsatisfied.

It doesn't matter how random dudes on the internet feel about it, not everyone is the same, talk to him candidly and honestly about it. If he's truly ok with potentially never having oral again in his life (don't expect this) then you're good.

If you won't do it and he wants it badly enough he may cheat and/or leave. You need emotional and physical satisfaction, not just one.

Its most likely from your experience from when you were young. Just remember that your BF wasn't the one who took advantage of your young mind and it isn't your fault it happened. When I was young I was also had the same thing happen.

If you give him head you are 100% in control of your decision and actions.

>>18305507
The WHOLE point of sex is that it be enjoyable by BOTH parties. If there is anything you don't like doing, you have the absolute right to say "I don't like that" and not do it. (As does he)

Any guy who says "I don't care if you like it or not. I want it." is not for you.

That said, it is possible that with time you could get over your phobia and aversion. But it has to be at your speed and your desire, not any misguided sense of obligation.

>>18305750
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>>18305507

What were the weird experiences you had?

>>18305750
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I agree with the comments about how you should not do something you are too uncomfortable with, but I take it from the OP that you want to move past it yourself.

In that case, I would wait. Try to enjoy hand stuff. Look at his dick. Move to playing around and sucking without a full blowjob, just as fooling around.

I think the more you force yourself to suck him off despite experiencing it very strongly negatively, the more you will hate blowjobs.

As a guy, it would be a dealbreaker for me. Problem is that even as good as PiV or PiA sex is good, I like oral sex a lot.

Here's what I suggest... start slow. For hand jobs, just play with his cock while watching TV with him. Don't even have to stroke it... just hold it. When you're ready, stroke a little.

Same with blow jobs. Maybe start out just licking his cock, not even inserting it into your mouth. Maybe kiss around his genital area, thighs, balls. You could also stroke his cock while doing this.

Gradually build up... a little further each time and see how it goes.

>>18306311
>>18306275
>>18305524
You guys are right, the other options feel real sad to me, just never giving him head. I don't want him to get annoyed or leave, and I actually want to want to do it. I think I'd feel like I was giving up if I didn't try, not feeling obligated to him, but to myself.
Because I've talked to him about it I think I'll just give it a few weeks to build up being confident about it and then start trying to fool around, doing a little bit of blowjob stuff as sex foreplay because that's much less scary to me than a proper blowjob.
I think I might give it a couple weeks first though because the thought of it does still make me feel very nauseous.

not overcoming this will not only ruin your relationship, but it will make the problem worse for you and doom future relationships.

make a commitment to get over this. meet with someone if you need to, whatever. just keep trying and eventually you'll figure it out. just let him know that you're both going to get frustrated and you'll probably even say you're giving up but you're going to do it.

>>18307344
When I spoke to him about it, he said there's just no pressure at all, and he just wants me to not do it, but to sometimes just evaluate in my mind whether I think I'm ready yet.
In my last relationship, I didnt do it at all, and I did after a few months and was fine, never felt gross or anything, and was able to do it normally for years with that guy.
So I think it might just be a case of building up trust and giving it time for me to get really comfortable with the person. I'm just wondering how hard I should push myself in the mean time.

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>>18305507

You were molested when you were 13. Get some therapy. I applaud you for trying to white knuckle your way through this but its obvious that you're in denial about the severity of your issues and how to deal with them.

A 13 year old girl cannot consent to an older man jamming his penis in her mouth, okay? You were a child and older men took advantage of you. Its unnatural. Its abuse.

There is no home remedy for overcoming sexual trauma. The goal should be to address these issues head on and overcome them, not jam them back down into obscurity and force yourself to be comfortable because you're afraid of your boyfriend leaving you. Thats not healing, thats avoidance. Therapy. Now.

>>18305507
>As a guy, how much of a dealbreaker would this be for you
how do you propose to get me hard, if not orally or manually?
if you have a solid plan for overcoming this contingency, id be able to deal with it for a while. i would do what i could (if anything) to help you get over your hatred of the blowjob though.

>>18305507
This is kinda a bigger issue than not liking a dick in your mouth. Recommend seeing a sex therapist together or at least a therapist alone. He might not say it but it might be bugging the shit out of him that you won't suck his dick, especially if he knows you've done it with previous partners and goes down on you (even if he likes doing that). I'm only speaking from personal experience but even though I said I didn't mind not getting blowjobs regularly from my first girlfriend (to her and myself and I really believed I felt that way), the resentment built up and manifested in other ways. Sexual compatibility is important, if you really can't do it, break up.

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>>18305507
>how important is it
Guys put quite a lot of stock in their sexual experience with their partner. He seems to value his blow jobs and thinks that you will eventually gain the ability to enjoy it. if it's going to be something you can't handle you should let him know so he can decide if he wants to stay.

It really doesn't matter what anybody thinks but your boyfriend and you. It's only a big deal if it's a big deal to him and you are willing to try to change to keep him.

>>18307367
I remember the reason I put myself in that situation was because I was molested when I was a young kid, and I wanted to "drown out" that experience. So idk it feels weird, idk if you can get molested when actively trying to run from having been molested.

>>18307382
I can do it manually, but I don't know if I could give a guy a handjob to finish at this stage.

>>18307408
I'm aware of this and trying to work through it. I'm obviously trying to work on this so I can give him head, and someof the reasons for this are the ones you listed. I'm aware.

You're a slut. NO helpt for YOU!