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My son loves staying with his grandma every weekend and always cries/complains about not visiting more often.
That's not the issue.
What I dislike is that my mom criticizes MY living condition at home. She makes me feel bad when I have nothing bad to feel about. It's like she subtly brainwashes my son to stay with her because it's cleaner, feeds him healthier, and spoils him rotten. To the point where he just pouts and my mom pretty much does everything for him. Then when I try to set the rules, she BABIES him to make me feel like the bad guy...but heavens forbid she'll NEVER scold him or dream of disciplining him...and leaves that to me and my husband.
Should I just stop bringing him over? My son cries for his grandma and it gets me upset that he's willing to never come home if I didn't tell him to.
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>>18302429
Maybe treat him like your mom would treat him, then he wouldn't mind not going over all the time.
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Sounds like you'd just have to talk to her about it, you feel like she's being irresponsible in raising the kid
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>>18302454
I don't even have kids and I know they don't work like that
Why yes let's never scold and give our kids all the sweets and attention they want forever
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>>18302462
Um not forever. I assume her son is a child. I also never said not to discipline him.
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>>18302464
>Grandma spoils and refuses to scold
>Treat him like grandma does?
>Why would you spoil and refuse to scold him
>I didn't say that lol
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>>18302475
I mostly meant the part about being cleaner, eating healthier, and spoiling ( not necessarily a bad thing, just being more affectionate). Once again, I never explicitly stated that she should not discipline her son.
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>>18302429
Maybe you actually are a chitty mom with a crap house that he hates
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>>18302429
Grandmoms are like that. You are his mom. The authority he is supposted to fear and obey and his main source of motivation to do good at school and life. Some kids needs just positive motivation (dont you want to do good at school just to please me?), some needs very strict rules and punishments to set them straight. The key is to not overdo it. You dont want to break his self confidence. Even if he constantly fails and disobey you, he still have to feel like your son. Grandmom is that person you like to go because you get sweets there and she never lectures you.
Cutting your boy from your mom is cruel for both sides. Just set up strong rules and if it needs to be, spank the shit out of your son. You arent mean to be his friend, you have to be his mother. He will thank you for it once he grows up.
Tldr use visiting grandmom as his positive motivation and maybe a source of reward.
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