Should I find a girl whose looks and style I like, or is it possible

>>18300469

Hope you are rich enough to find stupid girls and mold them to your stupid kinks. If not, then I see a very bad future for your dating life.

No, it's never ok to start a relationship planing to change someone. That should be pretty obvious.

These are things that develop naturally, otherwise it's weird. Yes there are women who don't give two fucks about clothes and would be happy with a stylish boyfriend picking stuff out for them. Especially if they're into the whole being doted on and "groomed" thing and it's a bit sexually charged.

But you have to get lucky and this isn't a normal expectation in a relationship. Most women DO have strong opinions on the kind of look they're aiming to achieve. For most people the #1 purpose of dressing and grooming a certain way is to match as closely as possible with the person you want to be. I doubt that if you got with a girl who said she found nothing sexier than if you straightened your hair and dyed it red like an emo in 2009, and happily follow suit.
For example, the picture you post is quite traditionally girly and cutesy and not every woman feels comfortable with that.

So yeah if this is non-negotiable for you in a relationship then I would say, go after a woman who already looks like this. Making it clear that you have a fierce favorite hairstyle for a woman etc is fine. But nothing beyond that.

>>18300472

Well why then do we talk about telling your partner about your kinks or doing things to please them? I mean, at least I'm presumably dating this person for who they are as a person, instead of trying to date a girl I'm just solely attracted to.

>>18300481
This makes sense to some degree, but the hairstyle you suggested is pretty extreme, where what I like isn't. If my girlfriend suggested I comb my hair differently, crop it short, grow it longer, or wear different clothes, like populous or button downs instead of logo tees, I just don't think I'd be mad.

>>18300634
>Well why then do we talk about telling your partner about your kinks or doing things to please them?

Using a banana in bed is one thing. Using a wig in bed for you would be one thing. Dressing for you everyday and changing their whole style is a bit more than a kink.

>>18300469

If you find someone insecure enough or have absolutely no personality, this would work lol. good luck, controlling af anon!

>>18300469
>trying to change people
if you attempt this, you will inevitably end up having a bad time, one way or another

>>18300651

I mean, I'm not asking to control anyone's life here, just explain what I find attractive and keep that up. It's alternatively like not wanting your girlfriend to cut off all of her hair because you don't like how it looks, or me deciding to stop working out and get fat.

>>18300662

Would you get fat for her? Shave your head, handlebar mustache, fat and wearing demin jackets because she likes the "motorcycle gang" look?

>>18300634
It is extreme and I used it exactly because men typically jump to "I would not mind" without really honestly considering it. I'm not saying that you wouldn't honestly not give two fucks about the examples you listed. But believe me that there are PLENTY of men who would not shave their prized beard or whatever because their lover wanted them to and for good reasons.

As the other reply mentioned, stuff in the bedroom is kept well within your sex life. Your girl will see her haircut whenever she looks into the mirror. If it's a radical shift from her own style - say, she had a bob without bangs and dressed more in blazers and pantalons - it would change the kind of men after her, the physical experience of wearing her clothes, it would change how people treat and perceive her professionally. And probably, and most importantly, it will influence what image she has of herself over time.

>>18300662
"I don't like short hair" leaves A LOT more room for personal style than "I need you to have this hairstyle, go dye, cut and potentially straighten/curl it".
And still I would find a man who goes after a woman with short hair only to then turn around and tell her that she needs to stop looking the way she did when he approached her pretty douchey.

That's also the difference with getting fat. Yeah if you get with a girl who looks like OP pic and you are reasonably open/honest about your preferences, it would be completely reasonable to tell her that you are losing attraction if she suddenly goes all alternative on you. But that's not the same as trying to mold a partner.

>>18300662

> I'd love to be able to tell a girlfriend what to wear (within reason)
>every day
>I'm not asking to control anyone's life here

umm. yeaaa lel

>>18300469
Married for 10 years here. If your a leader in your relationship, she will want to follow and please you.
My wife wasn't into videogames but she happily started playing if it meant doing something with me.
Same thing with her style. Just wait until you see the hairstyle you really like out in the wild or on TV ect. And mention you really like it when women have that hair style/dress that way.
She will be happy to please you if your relationship is going good.