I have been depressed for over a decade I don't even feel

I would advice against drugs.
Try picking up cigarettes maybe. I found those to be very enjoyable. I also combine them with a healthy dose of self harm for maximum good feels.
The only two things that feel good since I get no joy out of fapping either.

If you are trying to get better: no
If you want to induce a mental breakdown in a close future: yes

>>18295451

Honestly? If you're not feeling anything now, you're not going to feel anything while drinking. It's a bad route to start, anon; nearly fucked myself up good once using alcohol that way.

Maybe try some shrooms or LSD (real LSD) but avoid dopamine agonists as they create the feedback loop which leads into more depression and addiction if you aren't careful or predisposed.

I was thinking of amphetamines mostly
I mentioned alcohol just to illustrate how absolutely inexperienced I am with substances

It's a bad idea. Amphetamine is the type of drug that encourages chasing highs. In addition, the crash cycle can also trigger latent bipolarity among unipolar depressives even without family history.

>>18295451
>Should I try drugs? I never even drank before
You'd just be asking for substance abuse problems desu
Have you sought out professional help?

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LSD, Mushrooms, DMT, and MDMA cured my depression.

Especially DMT and mushrooms. Everybody should try LSD at least once in their lives, too.

A big key of combating depression is realizing how magical and exciting reality is. There's a lot more to it than meets the eye, and never having used drugs may be why you feel so shitty. The world is a crazy place right now, it's common to feel anxious and depressed.

My advice is meditate daily. Everyday for at least 15-30 minutes turn the lights down low, get in your bed, play an ambient song like this on repeat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AWIqXzvX-U and just focus on nothing. Focus on clearing your thoughts and instead of speaking to the universe/gods/whatever, LISTEN. Silence your thoughts completely for 20 minutes and you'll get some incredible insight on your direction in life, meaning of recent events, and your purpose.

Good luck OP. Also refrain from porn, excessive ejaculation, aspartame, fluoride, artificial colors, etc. Do things that make you feel good and avoid things that make you feel bad. Sometimes the bad things feel good at first.

Drugs are kinda meant to help you escape the reality, if you're trying to get better, don't try to escape or forget about yourself.
Only solution is to invest your time in something that can bring you enlighment : can be a hobby but i would advise sport or even religion/philosophy (assuming you're smart enough to know how to have an external view)