How do I deal with the fact that I'm not friend material?

>>18293885
Introspect some. Why is that people “in the end people don’t seem to like [you] very much”? Are you actually clueless about this or can you figure out some reasons why that might be if you think about it a little?

Other than that, have you tried finding people with common interests that necessitate hanging out? For instance, a couple of my friends share my love for the card game Magic: The Gathering and we all meet up regularly to play it. But this could be a number of other things: Playing sports, making music, watching movies, going bar hopping, you name it. The point here is that you meet up on a regular basis.

You say your friends don’t talk to you anymore after a while. Is that so are YOU not talking to them anymore after a while? Friendships have to be manually maintained to some extent. If you never do anything with your friends or only do so rarely then this tends to wither the relationship. You gotta to shit together to keep it “active”. Of course there’s friends who show initiative and suggest these kind of things and there’s those who are more passive and just go along. But even the latter sort should at least get involved a bit.

Iktf, no problems getting to know people but never become close
For me the problems lies in my uniqueness, many of them dont understand and I figure out they are nothing special, so its over
And honestly this is really tiring, approaching people in order to maybe find one rare bird like you, so I just stick to acquaintances and we hang out once in 3 months maybe, for everything else I have my girlfriend and family

>>18293908
you sound arrogant anon sorry to say. Maybe you just dont get to know the people that well. You cannot look into their minds and why do you think you are better then them? is it a self protection mechanism?

>>18293943
I talk about topics and they don't understand how and why I feel this way, even though for me its obvious
Happens with a lot of people, not even their fault
Most people are boring for me, if they are nothing special, why would I care... Maybe this is arrogant
But I have encountered only very small minority of people (incl my gf) who actually understood me and therefore were easy to talk to without inhibitions
Whats the point of friendship if they don't get what you try to communicate for whatever reasons

>>18293908
Thanks for your input. I think everybody is unique in their own way. Every single person has a particular and amazing combination of life experiences, thought process and tastes. Everybody is worth meeting and chatting with.

>>18293903
>are you actually clueless
>common interests
I used to think this happens because I'm not cool enough? I'm young (21) and people I tried to be friends with were always within my age range. I'm not fashionable, neither I have a eccentric personality, so I might appear and sound boring to someone who doesn't have similar interests as mine. I can't go very far when people diverge ice breakers and go talk about their interests like soccer or cars.

>you gotta to shit together to keep it “active”
Thanks. I'll try.

>meet up on a regular basis
Every single day? Or once a week?

Last reply, gotta run.

>>18294043
>Every single day? Or once a week?
You needn’t force it, there’s no hard and fast rule to this. Once a week’s fine, fewer than that can be okay, too, depending on the circumstances. But if you haven’t met up in months (or even talked) then you gotta ask yourself in what sense you guys are even friends anymore. Like, that shit can be rekindled in theory but how did it get to that point? Did neither of you want to hang out? If so, why? If not, why did you not meet up?

On a side note, it should not feel like a chore. If hanging out with them is no fun then that right there probably indicates that you guys just aren’t compatible or whatever. Like, with my best friend it does not matter what we end up doing, even just chilling and talking is cool. Ideally your friendships should be like that: Enjoying the other person’s company.

> I can't go very far when people diverge ice breakers and go talk about their interests like soccer or cars.
That is not unusual though. A friend of mine is really into tabletop games which I could not care less about. But that’s okay because there’s other interests that we do share.

If you just politely listen and not really engage they should get a clue and notice that you’re not interested in those topics. If they don’t get that hint then they’re the socially inept ones, not you (’cause straight-up saying “Dude, stop talking about this, it bores me” isn’t really something you can do this situation).

>I used to think this happens because I'm not cool enough?
That doesn’t really makes sense to me. I’m not cool either but that hasn’t stopped me from making friends. As I said, the core element is shared interests. Theoretically you become friends with people with whom you have nothing in common, simply based on compatible personalities, but in my experience those seem to be the exception. It generally starts from a shared passion about something.