Sometimes I get very lonely, but I'm also terrified of intimacy.

>>18291848
>What do I do?

Does it make you feel bad? Then change your reaction. I'm pretty sure it's obvious...

I'm in the same boat senpai

I know that I'm normie enough to date and get a gf but I am petrified of sharing my life with someone.

>>18291859
>I know that I'm normie enough to date and get a gf but I am petrified of sharing my life with someone.

Then the first half of the statement is false. If you are ready, you do it. If you can't do it, then you are not ready.

>>18291851
Well yeah, but change it to what? I keep people at a distance for a reason, the grass isn't exactly greener.

>>18291865
OP, not him, but I'm normie as fuck. I've dated a few girls, I've fucked a lot more, but I hate exposing myself to vulnerability, which is a cornerstone of a relationship.

>>18291865
If you "wait" untill you get ready then you'll never be ready. The power is given to those who dare to face their fears, amirite?

>>18291866
>I keep people at a distance for a reason

Then don't complain. I mean, life is unfair, sure, but if you CAN'T change, then what's an advice board gonna do for you? All advice will be about changing.

>>18291870

You want the cake and to eat it too. Want a relationship? You'll make yourself vulnerable. Want to protect yourself? You'll be alone. Pick one.

>>18291865
I am saying that I'm not ready, that I'm too scared to. What I meant by the first part is that I'm not alone because I am incapable of getting a girl but because I'm afraid of being with someone

>>18291871

Never said "wait".

I said "Don't lie to yourself". If you are ready, go! If you are not ready, make yourself ready. But don't say "I'm ready, I'm just to petrified to actually do it"

>>18291880
>because I'm afraid of being with someone

That's fair. At least you know what to fix.

>>18291883
Ah ok, I get you! But I think it's ok to be afraid of something, but like you said, you can grow more if you it anyways :)

>>18291900

Of course being afraid is fine. But people act in spite of fear. Again, if fear stops you, then step one is dealing with that fear. You are not ready yet to do whatever it is you wanted to do until you, you know, are able to act.

>>18291877
I didn't say I can't change, I'm asking for advice on how to change when both options are awful for me.

Being lonely keeps me depressed and brings out self destructive habits. Involving people in my life makes me anxious and treat those people poorly.

Obviously the answer lies in my actions, I'm not afraid to be responsible for myself, but what can I even be expected to do about it?

Yea iktf
But you just got to push through it with people who you think may understand you
Its obvious but just say to yourself "you will do it" and proceed. But choose carefully, if you chose a wrong person, you will have even less motivation to repeat the process afterwards.

>>18292015

We don't know you. We can't tell you what to do. We don't know why you ar anxious. All we can do is tell you to find the way. Identify your problem and work on fixing it. There's no universal guide to solve this. Everyone is different.

Not op but don't want to start a new thread

How can you gauge the trustworthiness of a person? I don't know if it's my childhood or just my personality but I have a really hard time trusting people. I also take it hard, much harder than I should, when people let me down. I am the type that is slow to call someone my friend but would do just about anything for them once they I think of them as a friend. And it's even worse romantically.

Should I just lower my expectations?

>>18292037
I'm not asking for an instruction manual, I'm asking for perspective from anyone who may have experience with this.

I already know why intimacy makes me uncomfortable. That fact, in of itself, doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that when loneliness gets to be too much, I'm stuck at an impasse.

By boat is on fire, but I can't swim, you feel me? I appreciate the answers, my man, but I wouldn't bother asking 4chan without doing plenty of soul searching to begin with.

>>18292083
>By boat is on fire, but I can't swim, you feel me?

I already adressed this:

>Want a relationship? You'll make yourself vulnerable. Want to protect yourself? You'll be alone. Pick one.

Burn or drown. Pick one. That's how life works.

>>18292087
So your advice is basically "fuck me", then? Because that's pretty much what I came up with on my own.

Well, fuck me I guess.

>>18292098

No. My advice is: Understand any choice you make will have good and bad stuff. There's no right choice in life. No code for a perfect, worry-free existence. Pick what you want, and deal with whatever bad comes from it. That's the price we pay for the good stuff.

>>18292103
Alright, alright. That's good advice. I say that you people plenty, but I guess I needed someone to say it to me.