Sometimes I get the feeling that my gf of two years doesn't

>>18291469
Here's an example. The other night, she stayed over at my house. My parents were both home but I've been insisting to her lately that that doesn't matter (and it doesn't, we have seclusion if we want it). She initiated making out, but eventually pulled away like it was nothing. I'm ready to go at this point, so I pull her back in and start to get it going but I sort of feel like she doesn't want to go any farther so I stop. She actually says that she would have sex right now if we could. I don't know why she would say that because uh, we totally can and I wanted to, but her actions seemed like she didn't want to and it was late so I asked if she wanted to just go to bed. As we walk to our beds (separate in my parents house) I tell her I'm probably going to jack off tonight before I go to sleep. She goes to brush her teeth and stuff and as that's happening I realize, what the hell is happening? I'm about to jack off while my actual real fucking girlfriend sleeps in the other room and she SAID she wanted to have sex even though she didn't act like it. So when she's done, I initiate it again and reiterate that just because my parents are home, doesn't mean we can't have sex. She instead says she'll blow me instead, which I don't turn down, but that's not the same and it's also not what she straight up told me.

Stuff like that happens all the time. Our sex life is kind of disjointed like that. Actually in bed, she doesn't seem as into it as she used to be. She always seems like she's rushing me to get finished. We used to have sex over Facetime and we haven't done that in awhile. We used to have sex over text too and it's been a hell of a long time since we did that.

The biggest red flag to me is that when we were having sex, it was always a topic of conversation. Now she outright told me I should tone down talking about it.

>>18291472
I want to say really quickly too that I always respect her right to say no and it's totally okay to not want as much sex as me (she also... rarely if at all says no and that's another red flag to me, that she's doing this just so I'm not upset). But what she's doing now is kind of lying to me, just doing stuff to appease me and that's not okay to me.

she's not enjoying the sex.
i'm in a bit of a similar situation, although in the other side.
the problem is that the sex never was what i actually needed or wanted but i was afraid of telling my bf. that was completely my problem. i auck at communication in general and the topic of sex is the most difficult one. that plus i know how important sex for my bf is, so i just went with it, even though i wasn't particularily enjoying myself. iow, i couldn't tell him what i needed but i also couldn't turn him down. which resulted in me having so, so much sex i didn't actually want. as the relationship progressed and i also became more mature, i more and more realized that that's no way to have sex and that i need to change something. ofc i wasn't able to go from "have sex i don't want" to "be able to have sane conversations about our sex life" in one night. the first step was that i finally had the courage to turn him down when i wasn't feeling it at all. then i started to work on being able to tell him what i would actually need to enjoy sex with him.
i'm still deep inside this process and nowwhere near having a healthy relationship towards sex and talking about it in a mature way, but i need this or i'm going insane.
i suspect she's going trough some similar thing. something's not right and you should try and find out what it is and how to find a solution. she's not enjoying intimacy with you the way she could and should and i'm very sure there is a reason for this.

>>18291469
It seems like she's uncomfortable having sex when your parents are at home.
It is also fairly normal that women's desire fades a bit over time, and fades even more when we're stressed. Many women experience it.

>>18291587
i wanted to add that she's probably not aware of this stuff going on.
all she knows is that she doesn't feel like having sex with you, but only a few people actually try to get to the bottom of it and instead just state shit like "i just don't have such a high libido" or "maybe i don't love him anymore, if i would, i would enjoy being physically close to him, wouldn't i?".
she might have zero clue what her needs are in bed and might not be aware that this could be a communication issue.
if that's the case, you would need to take the lead and help her trough this and find out what it is that is not right for her or what she's missing in the way you two have sex. might be that she blocks completely because she's similar to me and hates nothing more than talk about sex. maybe she will shoot you down with meaningless phrases like"we're just bot sexually compatible". basically, it boils down to how willing the two of you are to acknowledge the issue and work together to find a solution, maybe by trial and error and constant feedback. but this takes two people who actually WANT to solve this or it won't work.

>>18291469
It is nice that even after two years of relationship you still dont trust your gf.

Ask her. Tell her how it all looks like she is pretending, never innitiates and dont like sex with you at all. Maybe tell her that you wont leave her even if she tells you the hard truth. That you are willing to change / work on it.

Maybe tell her that you wont have sex until she starts it first. And then prepare for 6 months dry streak.

Seriously ask her, not us. Give her your support, say her you can live without sex for a while if it feels so bad for her and you wont leave her no matter what because you love her.

She can have 99 reasons for acting like that. But it is sort of sad how you dont trust each other ro talk about it openly. Gain her trust so she opens to you?

>>18291469
>On the horny scale, if I'm an 8, she's a 3 or a 4.

Yeah so by definition you are going to want to have sex when she doesn't want to.

>>18291622

> say her you can live without sex for a while if it feels so bad for her and you wont leave her no matter what because you love her.

clearly a girl talking.

Fuck that, OP clearly said they talked about it before. Women can change too.

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>>18291587
>i'm still deep inside this process and nowwhere near having a healthy relationship towards sex
Doesn't sound you have a healthy realtionship in general. Grow a fucking pair, you aren't helpless fetus anymore.
>i suspect she's going trough some similar thing. something's not right and you should try and find out what it is and how to find a solution.
Wh- wha- NANI? WHY DOESN'T HIS GIRLFRIEND GROW A FUCKING PAIR AND TALKS ABOUT HER FUCKING PROBLEMS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF TORTURE IT IS TO GET A WOMAN TO TALK GENUINELY?
If OP initiates that kind of shit it goes only downhill, in a never ending vicious cycle. He should confront her and say she shouldn't be a fucking pussy and talk about her issues like any reasonable adult would.

OP, don't listen to her advice. She appealed to empathy, which isn't wrong by any means, but it also advocates to pamper your GF like the toddler she is - given her recent behavior.

My advice would be to break up if the situation doesn't change or worsens over time. It is, by no fucking means, on your end to read her mind. You can give her the feeling to openly talk to you, but that's all you can do, because the rest is on her.

>>18291786
Not the poster you quoted, but your response is shit; she's not asking this guy to pamper his girlfriend but instead advising a potential suggestion given actual experience. The OP doesn't know if his gf is just appeasing him, so this whole thread is based on speculation. You wanna talk genuine communication, at least acknowledge that this dude is himself not sure how to proceed with this talk successfully. If his gf is in a similar boat of not knowing how to formulate this conversation then both parties need to work on it.

OP, I'd definitely recommend talking to your gf with concrete examples of what makes you feel like her sex drive is inauthentic. If she truly dislikes sex, then yeah, leave her--there's incompatibility there. But sex drives change, and it is not uncommon for people to be turned off or uncomfortable in a house with parents in it. Come into the conversation prepared to explain how you'd like sex to be handled in the relationship, and also be prepared to listen to your gfs perspective. Ask her directly what her ideal approach to initiating sex would be, knowing that her expectations and yours might be vastly different in which case you two gotta decide: mutual compromise or breakup?

>>18291469
honestly if a guy was this stressful about sex around me, i would dump him

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>>18291469

>Sometimes I get the feeling that my gf of two years doesn't like sex and only does it to appease me? Am I worrying about nothing and/or how do I approach her about it?

I'm gonna go ahead and stop you right there.

Immediately get off of the internet and talk to your fucking girlfriend about this, not us.