(Pic unrelated.) senior in college. 3 months ago, a girl I was

(cont.)

Within the past few months, she's lied to me, refused to give me my stuff back, (even called the police on me when I came over to try to get my bike,) and berated me. I legitimately want to kill myself every minute of every day. (Words like "Kill Yourself", "I Hate Myself" and "Pathetic"/"Trash" -- which she's called me when I tried talking to her -- flash into my mind's eye, over and over again, every waking moment.) She'll tell me that it's a good thing we broke up, because I'm suicidal and need to focus on that; though, in actuality, I've always had a good enough grip on my mental health to keep from wishing myself harm -- I feel this way because I've lost her, nothing else. Even though she clearly stopped loving me/realized she never loved me, she persisted in assuring me that she loves me, (while fucking other dudes and even lying to my family and friends about me,) for the first couple months after the break up. Now, she says she truly wants nothing to do with me. She's much happier now.
All I want is for her to be happy, but I also feel a deep-seated urge to die. She called me selfish and worthless, just for pointing out in a conversation that she had a much more priveleged upbringing than I did. Now all I feel is guilt for being selfish and self hate for being worthless, though I know those things aren't true on a rational level...

What do I do? I love her more than anything. Life without her is so hollow. I miss her, and virtually every little thing reminds me of her. I wish I was dead. I feel like even existing is burdensome on the people I reach out to for help, (mainly her, which o guess isn't really the case anymore.)

>>18290164
>she dumped me because I was having a generally tough time thinking about my future, with family stuff, and most of all some depression etc., and she didn't want me to turn to her.
Doesnt sound like a valid reason to get dumped. Unless youre like 24 with no job or life, which would make you look worthless af.

>Within the past few months, she's lied to me, refused to give me my stuff back, (even called the police on me when I came over to try to get my bike,) and berated me.
Im assuming this happened after the breakup. Seems everything went downhill from there. I mean there isnt really much u can do to get her back at this point, and you probably shouldnt. She seems crazy

>>18290181
I don't want to get her back. She's so much happier now. It warms my heart just thinking about it. I love her so much, and I love seeing her smile.

Should I just kill myself, do you think? It looks like she'll be ok

File: IMG_0006.png (90KB, 500x501px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 500x501px

>>18290187
I cant tell if youre being serious or not

>>18290190
I am being 100% serious. I can't go two waking seconds without thinking about dying

Hahaha you got played bitch nigger. If you stop and look for the signs you'll see signs of her taking you for a ride were there all along. It's nothing you did, no specific even and nothing you believe. You were a fine, strong young lad and her snake self saw right through you. She took everything she could take from you and then she discarded you. It's not you not being good enough, it's her being a rat.

Direct your hatred at her, not at yourself. You did nothing wrong other than being completely played by a heartless viper.

>>18290795
She's not like that at all. She's such a kind, compassionate person. She's all of her friends' favorite, too.

>>18290795
This is truly my greatest loss. She's so perfect.

>>18290164
It funny when OP's think everything is fine in a relationship but fail to understand that is their perception only because they are in love. Never occurs to them the other person may be unhappy or just not into them as much the whole relationship. If a piece is missing it ain't perfect.

>>18290840
>>18290837

Alright, you just proved this was bait. Even someone in delusional love would see that her behavior is dreadful.

>>18290901
I mean that she's kind and compassionate at heart, despite her more recent actions. There's no way she could have been faking a "nice persona" for nearly a year, nor could she be faking that at all times around her friends. She truly does have a good heart

>>18290863
She emphatically loved our relationship and wanted us to move in together until the very last minute. The break up makes little sense to me, but she's clearly happier now. My problem is that without her I want to die so badly. I love her so much but trying to be with her would be selfish and vindictive

Anon she's not a good person at all. Good people do good things or are at least remorseful when they do bad things. From your own posts, she's a thief, emotionally abusive and quite immature in how she's dealt with you since the breakup. From my perspective she loathes you and the fact that you didn't see a breakup coming just doesn't make sense to me; but we are only getting one side of the story here. Not to say her treatment is justified either way but there are just too many inconsistencies in your story further exacerbated by the fact that you seem to be a terrible judge of character.

why does this read like a really pretentious tale of unrequited love?

write your novel, OP, it'll be famous after you're dead.