Let's just put it this way: we can never know what goes

And before y'all criticize me for being a nice guy... I used to fuck girls in public before. I'm just trying to put that other side of me at ease in trying to find a relationship with more of an emotional connection

>>18288406
you're just going to have to face it OP, she wants a bit more proactive manliness from your end, the virginy shit doesn't work.

hit her up before you go on your trip and bang her well.

>>18288439
Tried. She's too "busy"
I wonder if putting my vulnerability on display is going to be my ace in the hole.

"I used to fuck whores in public but don't worry baby, I don't have an std. I really just want a quality relationship"

>>18288447
ZFG. that''s how to do it.

>>18288452
Lol so ignore her?

>>18288452
Or stop holding back?

>>18288406
>meet 20 y/o girl on tinder
>to increase odds of being able to bring more substance to the relationship than just sex

For fuck's sake. You went looking for a relationship on tinder and wonder why she bailed after you failed to bang her brains out? You were looking for different things. She agreed to a second date simply to get back at you. Look for women elsewhere if you want a legit relationship.

>>18288473
You're right. I was seeing if I could play the I'm actually boyfriend material card she'd take it. I'm surprised she hasn't ghosted me yet

>>18288463
no holds barred

>>18288473
If this was the case, why would she not just completely shut off all communication after "not getting what she wanted" on the first meetup, instead of playing busy?
What does anyone gain from this fucking act?

>>18288506
Because girls don't act rationally lol

>>18288506

Revenge or getting "even", probably. OP asked her out on a date, but wouldn't put out, so she felt like she wasted her time. OP wants a connection, so she gave him hope by going out for a second time, before suddenly becoming busy, so that OP too wasted his time. Just a guess though.

>>18288506
OP here. I've taken a girl on a date before where things got hot and heavy the first date. "oh .. Maybe we should stop. I don't wanna give the wrong impression of myself" similar to girl I spoke of in the OP. I talked her into fucking for the next 3 hours in my car and then on the way home she started crying "this isn't what I thought dating was! Waah'"

>>18288520
>>18288508
>>18288517
Op here. Case in point. We don't know what the fuck goes on in their heads

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Op again. I recall one story where I just started seeing a girl and one of my buddies was like, "oh yea I've fucked her before." so I called her up and asked if it was true. She kept denying it and started crying "waaah you're treating me like a hoe!" I met up with her 30 mins later and fucked her in a parking lot.

Seriously. She wasn't like "this guy has no business bringing up my past I'm gonna ignore him." instead I guess me treating her that way ended up letting me do what I wanted with her later on.

Pic related me.

And before y'all criticize me for being a nice guy... I used to fuck girls in public before. I'm just trying to put that other side of me at ease in trying to find a relationship with more of an emotional connection

I thought you went over after the accident? Or was sleeping over the "second date" you're referring to?

Also maybe since you're interested in an actual relationship and immediately leaving on a trip, she'd maybe rather wait until you get back.

>>18288538
God damn it. Cookies got fucked up on my mobile browser. Ignore this post

>>18288540
Yeah so I did. Looking back I'm thinking a. It didn't matter and b. She was probably "stressed out" from her accident since she didn't seem to be in the mood for fucking

>>18288540
Good memory anon. I really didn't wanna have to retell the whole god damn story

>>18288506
Because girls are taught that being straightforward and saying no makes you a horrible cunt. You're also basically a stranger, for all she knows if she says she's not interested you're going to absolutely flip your shit and harass/stalk her or worse.

>>18288560
So you think she's just placating me until she can find an out?

>>18288543
From the way you told it in greentext, sounded like you could have had sex then. That would have been the 3rd date sort of, right?

I think, from her perspective maybe you were sending mixed signals too. She said she needed time, you gave an ultimatum and then immediately came over to spend the night, didn't make a move this time even though you showed her on the second date you were interested now.

You're asking how you should interpret her behavior. What about how she might interpret yours?

>>18288567
I could be wrong but like everyone else said, if you met on Tindr she probably just wanted some fugg and is trying to quietly lose your interest.

>>18288517
Going out on a second date purely out of spite seems like a lot of effort to me, not to mention it's a waste of her own time as well.
Believe me when I say that I've met my share of sociopaths via Tinder, but I think the assumptions you're making here are pretty baseless.

>>18288572
Yeah. So she gave me the silent treatment until I wanted to hang out again. Then she said, "I don't understand you" so...
> ask for phone call
> she gets antsy
> she calls me
> reiterate to her my interest, admit I have no idea what I'm doing
> she says ok maybe we can hang out Sunday
> try following up with her, she's "busy"
> she facetimed me for 3 hours Sunday
> says she got nervous the other day about calling me because that's what guys usually do to her when they're trying to break up with her
> says she's on the fence with me because she's been burned by guys running the type of game I'm running; be sweet to her, wanting to be her one and only yadda yadda yadda

>>18288572
Also yes. Sort of. I could of fucked her but it felt fucked up, you know... Because she had a car accident earlier that day and was sad about it. Also, she was dead fishing me anyways. Even if she wanted me to make a move her body language was... Meh

>>18288406
>meet girl on tinder
right there, i know that youre a sad idiot

>looking for a relationship on tinder
why do people do this

>>18288594
It's possible... A few of my buddies are actually on LTR from tinder

I feel like the consensus of me trying to find a relationship on tinder is akin to trying to eat clean and healthy food on vacation. It's socially weird and unheard of apparently lol

>>18288586
Hmm. You're asking /adv/ what she thinks and saying it's hard to understand her, but it sounds like you already talked to her and she told you exactly why she's "busy".

She said she's on the fence based on how you're acting. Add that with maybe she's rather wait until you're back from your trip to see if you're really serious instead of just getting laid before leaving.

Are you actually interested in dating her? Or is this just an "experiment" before your trip? Maybe you don't seem genuine? You're likely confusing her more than she's confusing you.

>>18288655
Oops
*she'd rather wait

>>18288655
I'm genuinely interested. I've laid out plainly to her I date to date, not to sleep around. I told her I used to work at the bar and sex isn't something I'm pursuing.

>>18288663
Alright. Just think, you know how you aren't necessarily taking her at her word? She's probably doing the same with you. You're both being cautious, you both think the other is playing games. Maybe that makes her actions easier to relate to?

How long is your trip? Best thing might be to start up when you get back. She does say she wants to hear about your trip. But there is no formula, so no guarantee's with that.

She's just looking for your actions to line up with what you're saying. If you ghost her/abandon ship, she gathers you really were just a player. If you come back and pick up where you left off, maybe you're not.

>>18288705
You should have just fucked on the first date when she wanted, she doesn't want what you want. With you. Don't think about it too hard.

>>18288735
Lol it's beginning to look that way... I'll admit that gamble I made might've backfired

>>18288694
I can agree with you there.
My perspective: the fact that she's on tinder and she was willing to hook up with me at date 1 is telling.
Maybe she's playing games and subtly telling me to fuck off?

Her perspective: she's revealed the guys in her past are "jerks," have cheated on her, or went back to their exes. Everything I've told her from day 1 she thinks "oh you're just saying that"

What I've done so far:
"what can I do to make you feel safe or earn your trust? What do you need from me?"

Her:
"be yourself. Let's take things slow. Let's see if you turn out to be another jerk"

My experience working in the bars: every girl is the victim of their relationship, easily bangable, insecure etc.
The only hope with this girl is that she's 20. So perhaps there is a chance she isn't as psychologically damaged as these other girls. On the other hand, her age works against her since girls her age are horny and flighty

>>18288782
>Maybe she's playing games and subtly telling me to fuck off?
I don't think so. My thoughts are you're both being cautious, and each interpreting the other's caution as playing games.

You didn't really respond to the part about dating when you returned or how long your trip will be. If you're both thinking of an actual relationship, this gives her time to deal with her car/apartment and stuff too.

>>18288823
Oh right. I'm flying out tonight and coming back on the 16th. I told her my general idea of dating is first two you're feeling each other out, third date you figure out if you wanna keep going. She agreed in the sense of "oh yea, that sounds about right..."

Two dates and a facetime session, I have an idea of this girls family, beliefs, values, humor, past, etc

>>18288830
Maybe she doesn't want to decide before you're gone for a bit over a week then. Seems like you laid down the rule that she needs to know by third date if she wants to continue, and she's still trying to read your actions. You already gave her one ultimatum, maybe she expects another one and that's making her more anxious.

Maybe once you get back, tell her you want to meet up and tell her stories from your trip.

>>18288861
Yeah I kinda fucked myself when I said that third date rule huh? How do I retract that?

>>18288864
I'm not sure there's a good way to retract it. Are you still really set on getting to see her before you leave? Or are you just planning for when you get back?

You could try to be flirty about it
>Hey, I just wanted to get to see you before I leave, this doesn't have to count as our third date ;)
similar for when you're back
>Hey, let's meet up so I can tell you about my trip, this doesn't have to count as our third date ;)
in your own words or without emojis if you want.

Or be honest, you told her before you didn't know what you were doing. Tell her you want a third date, but not the added pressure of deciding right then. That you weren't thinking, and again that this is new for you.

Or say both, start with the more flirty one, depending how she responds, say the more honest part.

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>>18288883
Just planning on seeing her before I get back. The OP is our last conversation. She said she might be free to hang out Thursday (yesterday) but she'd let me know.

Her saying she couldn't... I'm like, well maybe she's playing games.

I'm leaning toward the being honest part. Once I get back, "hey I can't wait to share my trip with you." I do plan on meeting up with a girl I used to date there and meeting her boyfriend for the first time. I can probably say "oh you came up in our conversation and she gave me some advice"?

>>18288906
planning in seeing her Once I get back * not before lol

>>18288906
So being honest, but also making up that a girl you used to date gave you advice? I'm unsure how the second part of that would go. What are you trying to achieve with that? Seems like needlessly lying and making things more complicated.

>>18288946
Um, well... I see your point lol. I just thought "gee she's being cautious about my character. Hmm. Maybe I could alleviate the pressure by saying I got good advice!" lol

>>18288406
>Can anyone give me a formula?

sure mate.

You have relationship vibe. She isnt stupid and she knows that the reason you wanted to wait its because you already see her as your future gf.

You are the one playing games dude.

She doesnt want to hang out? Just walk away. When she will want to see you she will contact you.

And I mean walk away like you are serious about it: dont call, dont text, look for other opportunities.

>>18288952
Imagine she said she talked to an ex boyfriend who gave her advice about what to do with you. Even if she said she met his new girlfriend, would that really sound reassuring to you?

Especially when you're still trying to trust her, think she could be playing games.

I'd stick with being *mostly* honest when you get back. Say you want a third date, but maybe you realized with going on a trip and her trouble with her car, the third date rule was a bit much and added too much pressure. This is new to you, and you don't want to ruin it before giving it a real chance. Something like that.

I say mostly honest because I think it'll come across better if she thinks you thought of these things rather than telling her you got advice online or from an ex. If you have to though, I'd be fully honest and say you got it online instead of making things up and bringing an ex into it.

>>18289001
Screenshotting this. Thanks anon for the sound advice

>>18289008
Hope it helps you. Also hoping to hear this story continue since I've seen you post a few times.

>>18289028
You got a good memory. Hopefully the story does continue but the green text to recap is going to be a bitch

>>18288406
There's no formula.
You just need to find a chick with a lasting relationship in her needs list. Otherwise it's just fighting wind.

Lately I've been seeing that one girl. Very young, kinda stupid. She's asking me about my past experiences, and being the good boy that I always am, I tell her the truth. She got visibly intimidated, so she started making shit up, like saying that she's fucking her friends regularly. I told her "whatever, I don't care, we won't know each other for more than half a year".
In 3 weeks time she opens her legs up and I discreetly finger her in public.
MAN, OH MAN, YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN MY FACE WHEN I BARELY FIT TWO FINGERS IN HER.
So basically, what I'm trying to convey here - stupid cunts will say and do stupid shit just to get you riled up. Don't show weakness, especially don't show weakness towards some random from tinder.

>>18288560
This. Women are taught to please men and judge their self-worth by whether or not they have a man, but are also taught that only sluts have sex. They also have to worry about pissing off manchildren who will harass them forever and serial killers who want them for their collection. Dating isn't any easier for girls than it is for guys, and our fundamental inability to communicate with each other doesn't make things better.

>>18289489
I mean... There is always ghosting right?

>>18288406
if you delay sex you become the beta orbiter. You need to fuck and then give some distance and let her chase you. It's just how women work.

>>18289927
Who knows. I've met married women who said waiting helped>>18289927

>>18288473
Kek I did the same thing once

>matched girl on tinder
>got number
>went over to her place alone
>had a few beers
>says lets do something on monday
>i leave
>ask her to do something on monday
>never hear from her again

Looking back I feel retarded. Def could have fucked her but she did say she was sick and getting over strep throat and fuck strep throat.

>>18290216
OP here. I mean... Were you both upfront with what you wanted?

>>18290240
Not sure. She wasn't really giving any signs at all plus her eye started itching real bad the entire time and the fact she said she was getting over strep throat didn't really help AND she put even more clothes on. So idk. Doesn't really bother me at this point lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdlmahoFyG4