as soon as my bf gets even slightly horny, he seems to completely

>>18284690

Talk with him? Maybe show him where you like to be touched? Communicate. If he forgets again, remind him. If he cares about you he'll want you to feel good too.

forgot to add that i tried everything i could think of. i tried to guide his hands, i tried to show him with body language when i enjoy something a lot, i tried to tell him what i would like him to do more, i tried to explain it to him when we weren't having sex, i try to "lead by example", i tried telling him stuff like "i want to feel your fingers and your mouth all over my body. i want you to get me dripping wet as gently as you possibly can" (which resulted in him sucking on my nipples a little less hard and then going down on me way to agressive, iow, straight for the clit and way too hard. i told him, a little less pressure please, which he did, but he went back after about 20 seconds...) . i'm really at my witts end. in the end, i mostly just give up and let him fuck me and get it over with because this is so frustrating.

>>18284723

Communicate more directly. Just tell him straight up "I'd like you to kiss my neck" etc. Also give direct feedback, "There feels really good" or "A bit higher" and so on.

Sounds more like you've been too indirect for him. It might feel a little awkward at the beginning but us guys usually aim to please. My gf did the same after we got more comfortable around each other to guide me to the spots she really loves.

>>18284717
i did that... i really try. but it's so god damn exhausting. itms like talking to someone with altzheimer. we can have a very good talk about this and i'm convinced this time he actually understood and when we have sex an hour later he seems to not remember a single thing we said. and if i try to remind him, he half asses something for a split second and then stops again.
i don't think itms about him not wanting to make me feel good. to be completely honest, i think it is because he has watched way too much porn since he was a teen. they never linger for the foreplay and go straight to fucking. he loves to go down on me and i know he enjoys making me cum a lot. but he was conditioned to think that's how this works by years of excessive lesbian porn. i don't know if i can "rewire" him again. that's some massive wall i'm trying to go against...

>>18284732
i do that! i try to make it as easy as "connect the dots" for him, but he still doesn't get it right... feels like trying to teach calculus to a toad.

>>18284736
that's actually it, i'm convinced. his brain is so used to "yeah, ok, they kissed, got naked and fondled their boobs, not let's skip to the part where she fucks her ass with a strapon and makes her squirt over her face because i already have a hardon". that's exactly how sex with him feels.

>>18284690
Fuck that nigga OP, hmu on snap if you live in NY. Ill make you feel like you never have

>>18284690
Some guys think they've mastered it by discovering foreplay at all.

If talking doesn't help, show him a made-for-women porn that has lots of caressing in it. Let him see the effect on the actress and, if need be, spell out that that's what you need.

>>18284751
Two options here.

1. Just stop sex when he does something that hurts or you're not turned on.
2. Take control away from him. This is the better solution, IMO. I'm talking literally tie him down if you have to. If he's going too hard, wriggle away, throw him on his back, tease him for a bit. Touch yourself in front of him.

Seriously, the word "No" has to become part of your vocabulary during sex. The follow-up action has to become standard, too. You can't just lie there passively and let him do things you're not into, and then try to talk to him after. He's just getting positive reinforcement for his wrong actions that way.

It's like training a puppy - if you tell them no, but then let them chew your shoes next time, they won't fucking learn anything except that you don't mean it.

>>18284690
>he never actually does it.
>the two or tree times he made a lame atempt
So which is it?
Don't expect instant change and show your appreciation even for small changes

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9VM1UA0pCMQ

>>18284853
two or tree times in almost two years equals "never" to me. and he only did that because i demanded it. which i don't actually count.

Keep reminding him every single time.