I often feel like I cause weird atmosphere where ever I go. But

I could tell maybe if you showed yourself on webcam... Otherwise how the fuck are we supposed to know what exactly causes people to perceive you weird?

>>18283315
Has "your aura" existed always? Or did it start at some point and has become more prominent?

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Now recently I think this one guy had a slight crush or interest in me. I sensed that and tried to keep some distance. I don't want to lie though, I enjoyed the attention, but still I tried to kill his interest because I knew my company wouldn't do anything good for them either.

Well we kept glancing and sometimes smiling at each other. We never talked but he followed me to places where I spent time. I tried to hint that I'm crazy bitch but he didn't get the message or he didn't care. Now I couldn't contain my craziness recently and I think it hit him finally. Now he's anxious around me. And I feel bad for him. I saw it coming all along.

I might not be getting anywhere with this. Perhaps there's someone with good intuition and psych skills and they could hint me at what my condition is.

>>18283321
this

>>18283321
Maybe some people can connect the dots based on even this little information? Or perhaps what I tell here reminds them of someone else they've met and they can tell me about it?

>>18283329
I've been called weird ever since I was a child but I managed to do okay. I think the aura has become more prominent in my early 20s.

Sometimes I wonder if it's some brain damage. I used to be a curious kid and hit my head many times.

>>18283341
>Maybe some people can connect the dots based on even this little information? Or perhaps what I tell here reminds them of someone else they've met and they can tell me about it?
No, close to impossible, too many probabilities

>>18283347
Well some people have good people skills and they can tell what it could be about. Perhaps not exactly but what it _could_ be. Guesses can be helpful too.

More info:
-People in general act awkward around me. Only very, very strong people with lots and lots of life experience don't. Others do, like they start biting their nails or they don't know what to say or they start looking around themselves a lot. (It feels very fucking bad see people feeling like that.)

-I've had phases in my life where I think I've been bordering psychosis, such as sleeping only 2 hours a night and writing all days some shit on notepad. I've been taken to hospital during those "phases" but the doctors have always said there's nothing wrong in me. Which is very fucking weird because why otherwise have people taken me to the hospital? It's like people around me who see me every day think there's something wrong in me but the doctors and other healthcare professionals always say I'm fine. This is a thing that has kept happening all my life, the first time I visited a psychologist was when I was 14-years-old and the school insisted on that. I went there for ~1 year and no single diagnosis was made during that time. They had no idea what it could be about and after the year, they said it'd be okay if I stopped going there.

-I've always been very good at school, I can master almost anything I put my mind into. But at times I can seem very dumb as well and I think people don't usually have a very good first impression of me. They say stuff that shows they don't think I'm too intelligent, such as they might start explaining some political event and state their opinion like it's 100% fact even though it's only their impression of the event. Then I'm usually just quiet because what they do is rude and I'll let them think they're some geniuses, which again makes them think I'm dumber than them because I don't debate them or agree with them but just stay quiet.

>>18283315

Honestly, it sounds like you're just suffering from low self esteem and perhaps generalized anxiety disorder. You're overly concious around other people, and that causes you to believe that the atmosphere has changed or that there is something wrong with you. Try to give yourself a break.

>>18283373
>like they start biting their nails or they don't know what to say or they start looking around themselves a lot
Who fucking knows, maybe you are attractive as fuck and they are nervous, or you seem angry and they just think "please just don't ever talk to me".
>-I've had phases in my life where I think I've been bordering psychosis, such as sleeping only 2 hours a night and writing all days some shit on notepad. I've been taken to hospital during those "phases" but the doctors have always said there's nothing wrong in me. Which is very fucking weird because why otherwise have people taken me to the hospital? It's like people around me who see me every day think there's something wrong in me but the doctors and other healthcare professionals always say I'm fine. This is a thing that has kept happening all my life, the first time I visited a psychologist was when I was 14-years-old and the school insisted on that. I went there for ~1 year and no single diagnosis was made during that time. They had no idea what it could be about and after the year, they said it'd be okay if I stopped going there.
Come on, everyone has been through this shit. If doctors say you are alright, it only means its some mental problems.
>-I've always been very good at school, I can master almost anything I put my mind into. But at times I can seem very dumb as well and I think people don't usually have a very good first impression of me. They say stuff that shows they don't think I'm too intelligent, such as they might start explaining some political event and state their opinion like it's 100% fact even though it's only their impression of the event. Then I'm usually just quiet because what they do is rude and I'll let them think they're some geniuses, which again makes them think I'm dumber than them because I don't debate them or agree with them but just stay quiet.
Honestly its nothing, everyone has moments like this. This last paragraph happened to me everywhere.

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>>18283373
(continues)

-I've had many different friend circles and identities during my life. Sometimes it feels like I don't know the person I was 3 years ago.

-Also, I feel like I can easily switch my personality if I'm feeling highly energetic. I can sometimes even come off as very friendly "people-person". If I'm stressed out, my only mood is the crazy bitch mood. I'm also highly and maybe even painfully aware of my personality "switches". Like if people approach me at streets I can put on a relaxed people-person persona, and sometimes people even start opening up to me and follow me around and ask me if they can spend time with them. And then I try to push them away because it's just a persona I'm putting on and I know they will only hurt themselves if they spend more time with me.

-My father is homeless alcohol addict so there might be something genetic at play as well.

>>18283341
Mild Asperger's syndrome might be the cause. I've met about 20 Asperger's at my uni.

They seem completely normal at first, but after spending some time with them, one can tell that something feels off. Most people will then squirm out of conversation with them.

>>18283406
You are just a normal ENFP, congratulations

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>>18283394
>Come on, everyone has been through this shit. If doctors say you are alright, it only means its some mental problems.

Then why do people around me react so strongly to my "phases" that they'll take me to a hospital? Are people just that clueless then? Should I cut contact with these people?

Some people have openly told me it seems like I only have brains but no heart. That's also one of the most shameful things that keeps popping up inside my head every now and then.

>>18283315
It can't be psychopathy/sociopathy (antisocial personality disorder), because they are usually charming and good at social situations, but sadistic and calculating inside.

>>18283429
>Then why do people around me react so strongly to my "phases" that they'll take me to a hospital? Are people just that clueless then? Should I cut contact with these people?
Just normies or worry a lot about you. Are those people parents or teachers?
> one of the most shameful things
Not shameful at all, you are just very adaptable. Having a heart is nothing in the world we live in.
Never blame yourself for things you could blame the system.

>>18283436
Well it's been my family but also some friends who have taken me to a hospital. Plus why did the school insist I should visit a psychologist if there was nothing wrong? It's kafka-like to think about that.

>>18283413
I must say I'm most definitely an introvert. Also ENFPs can't usually logic a shit, or if they can it's very superficial and "following a rule". They don't think it through themselves, they just follow rules they've been told they should. If they come across a problem where their previous knowledge doesn't apply, they can't solve it or they mix something up based on their previous knowledge. Which isn't close to the solution but they think it's "logical" because why would anybody present them with a problem their previous knowledge couldn't answer, those meanies duh. This same kind of thinking is weirdly present even in otherwise intelligent INTJs sometimes, like they just can't logic if the problem at hand doesn't fit their previous knowledge-banks.

>>18283447
What I explained there about ENFPs and INTJs is mostly Te/Fi, I think. Sometimes even ENFPs can say sharp stuff but I always have a feeling it's learnt. They don't have the inner logical structure that would explain why what they say is right/true/on-point. Which shows when they keep talking and suddenly after stating something sharp, they go on to say how cocoa powder heals your wounded inner child or something. Having a well-built inner logical structure of stuff is more of a Ti-thing.

If there's a type I fit it's probably INTP or INFJ or very suppressed ENTP.

Mkultra gangstalking/gaslighting?