My girlfriend is a victim of abuse and it's totally new

>>18282736
She might change, but for your own sanity you can't expect or hope for her to change, you've just got to assume she is how she's going to be. So, if it's not working now it's just not gong to work.
I'm basically in this situation myself and I realize more day by day that you can either deal with it how it is, for the rest of the relationship, or if that sounds like shit, you're better off on your own.

>>18282736
She is a liar and using her supposedly abusive past as a scapegoat for her behavior. Everything we do is a choice, every time she lies to you it's like coming to a fork in the road and knowingly deciding to take the worst fork. Unfortunately constant lying undermines trust which means your entire relationship is built on an unstable foundation. So what if she is seeing a therapist? She probably lies to him/her too! I won't try to tell you how to handle your relationships, but ask yourself this; are you willing to invest your life in someone who refuses to be truthful with you and who undermines your trust in her at every opportunity?

>>18282736
I would leave anon. I know that's easier said than done and I don't know how close you are. In my experience however, people like this tend not to change. Maybe give her some time with therapy and see how it goes? See if she does genuinely improve and appear to change, even on a small level at first. If not, I recommend getting out

>>18282746
Thank you for the reply it gives me a sense of relief to know someone is experiencing it too. It makes me feel insane, but I'm afraid if I leave her she will just get together with another abusive guy. I feel like a fucking martyr

>>18282752
i second this, from unfortunate personal experience. she'll make your life a misery.

>>18282751
I don't disagree with you, but literally everyone uses their past as a 'scapegoat'.

I have anger issues. Sure, it's my responsibility to keep them in check, but that doesn't change the fact that my old man was abusive. Destructive behavior is difficult to unlearn when it allowed you to survive some terrible shit

It's like not being able to tell the true from the false and feeling insane

>>18282736
I've been in your shoes once, and for your sanity you've to leave ASAP and cut her totally from your life.
She's not going to change, really. If you feel you don't wanna deal with it just go before your mind got influenced by her for years to come. This kind of people could only work along with someone who don't mind being treated like dirt/doormat or another compulsive liar.

What happened to me was the girl I was with will just keep lying even if she got caught red-handed. When she finally learned that I will always question her words based on her behaviors she was giving me silent treatment and ignoring me.