Is it wrong to have a child just to take care of you? Like,

>>18282381
Yes, that is horribly, horribly wrong, I'm actually really disgusted by just reading this. No one "owns" their children.

If he lives with you, you can have him clean the house to pay his rent? It seems like bullshit now but when you're old you might not be able to get around so well, and he will already be used to the routine.

>>18282427
So it's fine? He does; 25 with no job, no qualifications and I'm 62 with growing cataracts. The way I worded it in the first post sounds bad, but we're just trying to be reasonable here. Anyone could imagine someone young reading this and thinking, "wow, you planned to use your kid from the start?" The answer is no. He had his chances.

>>18282381
let's not judge millennial-old civilisations on their attitudes to child-raising, shall we?

>>18282475
>He does; 25 with no job, no qualifications and I'm 62 with growing cataracts.

This is coming from someone in a similar position to your son, if I HAD moved out she would still need someone to come back and help her since she has to get surgery soon. Whatever happens when I lose my parents, that's going to have to be my issue. Nobody wants their kids to give up their dreams to "use" them but he just so happens to not have anything better going on, and you happen to need help around the house, so ... yeah.

>>18282381
Im 24 and im in the same boat that that kid. While he works for you, talk to him try to help him. He maybe does everything for you because he knows he failed in some point. He maybe feels guilty. Your son is addict to grug? Video games?. He got friends?.

Help him.

>>18282510
It's just convenient enough that after I get my surgery and go on vacation, he can do as he pleases, but for right now, I need him. Sucks that I can't tell him this; he'd probably try to throw it back in my face when he gets drunk.

>>18282535
He does a lot more than just drink, I have to constantly berate him about watching his limit. He gets his drinking from his mother's side, literally. Alcoholism all in the family and with pot, cigarettes, and whatever drug his cousin brings over, it doesn't make for a great future. Part of me is glad he stopped the k-2, that wasn't the best way to stay away from weed. He also recently stepped back heavily from gaming and put his system away.

How do I get him to understand that? I've overhead conversations he's had with friends and even though he seems to be trying, that "I don't care if I go homeless" mentality isn't healthy. What could cause someone so young to be ready to abandon everything they have?

>>18282553

Desperation, probably. We all have different ways to cope with the bad things in our life, and for some of us we just chose to stand defiant even when it's absurd to.

If he's as confused about his life as you make it seem, he probably feels like he has no alternatives. I wouldn't think he has the best self esteem, and while some people might get depressed over it, others turn that into anger and become incredibly headstrong and resilient to both fear and hope.

>>18282561
It started off as anger, then depression, to now complacency. Should I bother him about anything more than getting a job? Last time it was brought up, he told me "it's not my choice when one of these places calls me back", and then goes out and finds a restaurant that will train him. He has the ability, he's not stupid, at all. Just very lazy. I want him to be able to fend for and support himself, but I can't do it for him.

>>18282498
What do you mean by judge?

File: 1489451346593m.jpg (97KB, 1024x810px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 1024x810px

Bump

>>18282381
Sounds like the child is the parent & the parent is the child. Quintessential paradigm of a paradox.

This made me sad. Please help him become independent.