My husband has a mental illness and it's just destroying

He's cheating on you. Just dump him and move on, honestly.

He's definitely not cheating on me but thanks for the advice.

If you want a dependent, then stay and let him medicate. He won't be the same peroom you knew. If you want a man and a husband and a partner, then get your shit together and get him out. Either way , he's going to end up being a liability with you daughter growing up

>>18277337
He most definitely is, but feel free to stay in denial. Either stop pontificating on this website and break up with him, or live a pathetic, miserable life.

>>18277322
Hey there, anon. I have type 2 bipolar disorder, so I kind've know what you and your husbando are going through.

I sometimes freak out on my gf, and I have gotten better at getting it under control.

I understand when he says he doesn't trust the doctors, and that he doesn't like the meds. I don't either.

ultimately, you have to make a decision about your relationship. You have to decide whether the person undereath his condition is worth staying for (Which it sounds like it is).

What specific arguments do you get in? I know that I don't always approach my arguments logically, and I work out some fucked up way in my mind for them to make sense.

Bipolar disorder aside, what is your husband like, socially?

>>18277326
>>18277349
NOT OP HERE,

What's with these people that only lend the advice of "OMG BREAK UP!" Are you really that bitter that someone else has a relationship and you don't?

Literally explain your logic in saying that OP's husband is cheating on her. It doesn't make sense.

He NEEDS to see a doctor, otherwise divorce is round a corner. Drugs for issues like bi polar are literal life savers.

Search Jordan Peterson antidepressants on youtube.

Getting him to go to the doctors given his phobia is a different issue entirely. All I can say you need to talk, and express your need for him to get medicated, and talk about how he treated you those days. If he is reasonable, he will see light of what you said here and at least go to the doctors.

>>18277354
Socially he does okay in very general situations he is more extroverted than me. BUT, he snaps very easily and creates a scene ... most everyone thinks he has "issues" after spending an hour or two with him.

Myself, I am very introverted smart type and I have body dysmorphia it's under control mostly now but he likes to make fun of me for being adopted or introverted and say everything is my fault.

He is VERY up and down: either he has lots of energy and stays up late and cooks and cleans and is fun to be around or he is grumpy just wants to lay down and sleep.

I don't know what sets him off really but he gets in these angry depressions he says he wants to leave me and says horrible things and when I inevitably start crying he goes totally berserk.

Then anywhere from an hour to a day later he is sooo sorry and will never do it again.

I don't understand what set him off this morning. The baby cried in the middle of the night?

>>18277326
>>18277343
>>18277349
Before posting this mean spirited shit, take into consideration that there is a person on the other side of this conversation that is looking for some advice regarding her problem, and that someone (myself) might be able to help. You loathsome pieces of shit are discouraging people from helping one another or seeking help here.

If I were a moderator, I'd ban you. You're not contributing anything and you're just perpetuating the horse shit that fills most of this site.

>>18277362
It's a murikan thing. We're against nuclear family.

But aside from that, monthly bitch tests sounds fracking normal.

>>18277388
Fests not tests*

>>18277383
I'm so scared for the kids to see this all the time and think it's normal and grow up super damaged. But he loves them. They love him. I love him.

I'm sure he DOES love me but something in his mind is eating him alive and making him think that everyone is secretly against him and life sucks and he should hurt everyone around him.

And yes. Divorce is just around the corner. But that just makes him want to destroy things all the more.

>>18277383
Sounds like bipolar with a dash of schizoeffective disorder. Meds may help, but it's not a cure. It will require months, if not years, of fine tuning for dosage levels. Add to that the fact that you have kids. ...damn, it's almost safer to start over, femanon.

Since you pay most of the bills, do yourself a favor and prudently plan for divorce and a restraining order. At the very least, you'd be prepared if things turn south.

>>18277388
It's a little more extreme than that and monthly is generous.
Lately it's been almost daily.

I'm not saying to use your child, but can you get to his feelings by talking about how his behavior affects not just you, but his children?

Growing up with a bipolar parent can have an effect on a child.

>>18277386
>Makes fun of me for being adopted.
There might be more going on than bipolar type 2

I mean, who does that? Who thinks they even have the high ground saying this? Unless you also have narcissistic personality disorder too. It's like making fun of someone being motherless because their mom died of cancer. No self-awareness.

>>18277387
>If I were a moderator, I'd ban you.
No one gives a fuck what you would or would not do. You think my posts are mean-spirited, I think they're realistic.

>>18277386
It sounds like you need to take three steps, here. I would seriously consider them if you want to go about this rationally:

1. Find a marriage councelor that both of you actually like. If he starts to bitch that he's taking your side, assure him that you will find another. This may or may not be expensive, depending on what sort of insurance you have. Having a third party mediator is essential to conflict resolution, especially when one party is being unreasonable.

2. He needs to find a doctor that he CAN trust. I too suffer from Bipolar type 2. The only thing that can help out is if he has someone in the medical field that he can fall back on, and depend on to give him the medication and care he needs. He needs to find a doctor that will listen to him when he says that his medication makes him feel funny. He won't want to do it at first, but he NEEDS to find a doctor that he actually likes.

3. I would recommend the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". That book is really old and a little outdated, but it is full of information regarding how to make relationships work. When speaking to your husband, I highly recommend that you hear him out, then if you notice he's getting upset, tell him that he's really upset at the moment and that you care about his oppinion, but that you would like to continue discussion after he's calmed down.

He may have bipolar disorder, but he is still responsible for his words and actions. Tell him this. Tell him that he can't use this as an excuse to be mean-spirited or aggressive. I really wish that I could speak with him, I've fixed a lot of my own issues and I feel like I might be good at helping other people with bipolar disorder.

>>18277425
>No one gives a fuck

You have to be over the age of 18 to use this site, friendo.
:^)

>>18277387
I'm the anon who posted the dependant vs divorce comment. There's a reason why I quickly said that. I work in the medical field and, in the past , have worked as a first responder for many years.. Very very rarely do I see instances like this turn around. While you're getting all twisted up and pissy, I'm actually thinking about her future well being as well as that of her kids. I can't tell you how many times I've pieced together some child's busted lip or had to help a mother find protection for her and her family.

Could I take the touchy Feely route and hold hands and say "when there's a will there's a way"? Yes. I could. And I'd be sugar coating shit in a hug box to give her hope. Instead, I'm telling her the real truth behind her actions and his.

Very rarely do I see someone who is the problem pit his or her shit in order and make one of those golden 180degree transformations. It happens, sure, but I don't fucking hold my breath for it. Too many years working in an emergency room sober you up pretty damn good.

So, yes, he's either going to be a dependant by her own choice out of love...or she needs to consider protecting her fucking children and herself. Simple as that.

>>18277430
I wish you could too.
The children are def a big thing- when I say what about them he gets concerned about changing.

We looked into marriage counseling but the scheduling wasn't working and the price was very high. I feel like until he gets sort of baseline rational it isn't helpful and might actually fuel more aggression.

I know he loves us all deep down but
It's like he turns into a different person and as a woman I crave some sort of stability and love and it's hard to hear your man telling you all these horrible things and not feel really hurt.

He hasn't had many girlfriends and he grew up with a divorced mom and a crazy dad far away. He definitely hates and distrusts women.

>>18277447
Yes he used to be violent with me skemtimes. He
Is overly protective
Of the kids but he once smacked me when I was holding our baby.

>>18277463
Med anon here again. Don't know if this is OP or troll post (spelling and structure ate different), but if this is true, then its time to realisticly plan for a change in your lifestyle. I hope you have supportive family and friends that are willing to be there for you because if he is abusive while you're holding your child, then it's time for that fucker to go

>>18277322
Shiiit, I have no advice for you, but if you feel that he makes you miserable and that you'd be less miserable without him then I'd go for the divorce because ultimately you're in for living in hell.
I'm sorry to hear that stuff.

Hahaha, oh wow.

Lady, I'm 22 and I am meditating daily to work on my anxiety and in turn improve my five-year long relationship. This involves a lot of mistakes where I scream, then have to bow my head and grit my teeth as I apologize for my bullshit behavior. If your husband isn't even willing to stay on that level with you (and trust me, I'm not doing nearly enough - let alone is your husband) by taking medication or doing whatever the fuck it takes to stay with you and make sure those kids grow up happy, then he's not worth it.

Find a stable man, yes that's right, CHEAT. Then, take the kids and tell them daddy is very sick and needs help. Then leave. Shit, or don't. But whatever you do, save those fuckings kids.

>you OWE them

>>18277518
Given she's the bread winner, he just needs to get tossed out

>>18277386
I suffer from bipolar as well,. seems like he has a unfulfilling life. barely any interests. If what I mentioned is not true You need to be strong with him.

Either that or get him to express the underlying problem. Sometimes it's just due to irritibality and needs space. Or maybe he wants to talk about certain topics but us frustrated because he has a difficult time expressing himself without hurting you.

Believe me when I say this when he is being an ass he does not mean it is just him being upset and letting his anger out.

>>18277518
Additionally
>cheat

No. First you get your shit on lock down and get rid of the fuckwit. Then you stabilize your life so that when you DO look for another man...you find a MAN....not a man-child. FUCK cheating at this stage...you got enough you need to handle.

>>18277542
Yes he has very little accomplishments or hobbies or anything.

He's vulnerable in that way but he hates being vulnerable in any way. I have seen a lot
Of improvement in him but
It feels like we are backsliding lately

>>18277322
Lithium. Buy some lithium orotate on Amazon and try that. It worked great for me. I have a form of bipolar II and have been able to get by without anything more medication-wise. It's also less side-effect-prone than the lithium carbonate version that gets prescribed, as well as much much cheaper than dealing with the medical establishment.

>>18277545
Yeah and what would your advice be to a man dealing with a woman's mental illness issues? Fuck off sexist.

>>18277458
Lithium. It's a mood stabilizer. It doesn't make you feel stoned or soulless or depressed like antipsychotics do either. In fact it seems to help a lot with preventing depression.

iktf

>dating girl with severe form of autism called asperger disease
>feel like I am taking advantage of her because of her mental problems
>she freaks out in public about nothing and starts screaming at people in public
>one day she hits a baby and giggles, says "i can't help it i have asperger's!"
>she refuses to take medications for her brain disease because she believes in "autistic pride" and says it isn't a mental disorder, just calls herself "neurodivergent"

>>18277322
You have to get him help, otherwise this will end badly. I have no idea how you can do that, but you must.

>>18277750
Has little to nothing to do with sexisim. Regardless of gender the priorities are simple. Protect your children. .protect yourself. Stabilize your life before looking to make it more complex again. I don't give damn if one is some quasi pan gender pickle fetishist and the other is an autistic castrato with perfect pitch. IF OP is being truthful about him hitting her while holding their child, the path ahead is reeeallly fucking clear. Likewise, if she ever hurt him while he was holding the child or caring for them, I'd be advocating for her to be thrown out on her ass. So go take your sjw shit elsewhere.