I feel like I can't express who I am The person in my head

Forgot to mention but I can't seem to ever understand what's going on around me

Its as if I'm floating in space while things happen around me and I can never focus on them

I can't communicate my thoughts and feelings to people in person properly because I never understand what's going on

I don't feel real sometimes idk

I'l bump for your dissonance.

This just sounds like a classic case of disassociation. Your thoughts and reasoning for those thoughts, don't sink up to your moral/life standards and it's causing a disconnect.

Take some time to figure out what you're doing. You disconnect when you don't care, or want to escape from the situation. Find something that drives you and stick to that. A long term goal.

I say long term, because this isn't something that's going to click over night. Focus all of your efforts on a goal and you will cling to it early on. After a while, the long term goal will become something that is ingrained in you, or routine. Something you're working towards everyday regardless. When you're working towards your goal as a second nature, your mind will relax and allow you to focus on the other things around you, while still having your goal in the back of your mind.

>>18276800
We all have a little more idyllic picture of ourselves that we are trying to hold and enforce. We like to think ourselves as smart, righteous, kind and great in almost every way and that our flaws are just occasional misjudgments or justified. We become uncomfortable when we have to face the truth.

You keep telling yourself you won't make any more mistakes and disappointing when you do. Accept that improving yourself might take some time and work. Give yourself permission to fail.