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Lost and not sure what to do about my girlfriend. I don't want to make this post too long, but I also don't want to be too vague and anyone trying to give me advice not have a good grasp on my hopeless situation here.
I guess I'll start off with that my girlfriend has been through a lot. I mean a lot. Her dad was terrible. Physical, verbal, emotional abuse - all that. When she was seven she was already on anti-depressants. Nowadays, she still has depression and anxiety, but only had anxiety meds that she takes "as needed." When she was younger though apparently she tried multiple different anti-depressants and they never did much for her. She's been to therapists, psychiatrists, and talking things out never worked either. Her on and off ex-boyfriend of six years was awful too. Same as her dad, except with the added sexual abuse, assault, and rape. Somewhere during those six years she tried killing herself, but someone found her and she lived. From what she told me, she didn't regret anything. After her failed attempt she just looked up other methods that would work better next time she decided she couldn't handle things anymore.
One year her someone tricked her and dropped her off at a mental facility for three days. Nobody ever visited her or anything. Apparently she just went through the motions though and lied to the doctors, she got out, and that was that.
Then some time ago she met me, and I'm like the best thing to ever happen to her. Her friends see it, her family sees, she's just so much more relaxed now and happy. She enjoys every minute with me. She's so in love me with. But then the closer she got, the more it bothered her. I'm in the National Guard and I have to go away one weekend a month, two weeks a year. I only have three years left.
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>>18276443
(Cont.)
This never bothered her until a few months ago when she began to care about me even more, and the whole military thing just worries her, and when knowing that I'll have to go away for two weeks at a time, maybe even months in the future just wrecks her. Whenever that time comes around where I have to go away, she gets physically and emotionally sick. It just ruins her and at this point it has become too much.
She's admitted to me she plans on killing herself in the near future, it seems inevitable and I don't know what to do. She refuses to get help, citing that her whole life nothing has ever worked. I know she would lose all trust in me if I ever brought her somewhere. I've talked about bringing her somewhere and she admits that she'd just do what she did last time and go through the motions. On top of that being held somewhere would fuck up her pets situation, apartment, maybe even her job. Taking a break from each other wouldn't help, and just make her miss me more. Anything I can think of doing would just "delay the inevitable." She won't get help, nothing, and pushing through these next three years is not an option apparently.
It's such a hopeless situation. I want to save her but I can't. I don't know what to do.
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Bump.
Anyone?
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>>18276443
You have written it beautifully. Basically your gf will suicide. So the advice is clear:
Abadon her, save yourself and wait for her to kys. This way she will end her suffering and you will be able to move on.
>i want to help her
Have you tried to ask her if she even wants your help? Arent you selfish to want her to keep living?
You can try to question her logic about suicide. That is what we do here on /adv/ with all suicide posters. Once it gets too personal for them, they simply ghost the thread. We keep telling them that they are young and it will get better.
But will it actually get better? Some mental conditions are permanent. And all /adv/isors here are normal. We dont know how bad it is for her. And she has given up.
The only question is:
>why havent she killed herself yet?
Maybe the sole reason is you. But seriously, if she cant make it without you for 14 days, she is beyond saving.
You can try to guilt trip her. Tell her how unfair it will be for you when she kys. That by suicide she basically shows you how worthless you are for her. That it will probably break you and you wont be able to be happy ever again afterwards.
But seriously consider abadonding her.
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>>18276443
she needs some newness in her life.
take her on a trip, go on vacation.. do things with her. try new things.
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What do your closest friends and family members think about her character? Is she generally well liked? Is she prone to drama?
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take her on the best date/get away you can before you leave and end it by telling that if she ends herself she won't get to go on more dates like this which us at the very least a damn shame.
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