Should I tell my GF I got a happy ending massage about a month

OP here. Just for some more detail, we've been together for 3 years.

Telling on yourself is one way to assuage feelings of guilt. You, as an adult, have to decide on your own if it is the best way. Think it over.

Nah don't do it. That's definitely cheating in my book. She's just gonna be pissed and possibly dump you.

Just make your peace with it and don't do it again.

no. don't tell her.
but I won't say don't do it again.

>>18276306
No. If this was truly a dumb mistake, and one that you aren't ever going to repeat, telling her is just making her feel bad so you can feel better.

No. It's pretty low on the cheating scale, like kissing her best friend would be way worse, and it makes you look pathetic because only losers get happy endings and it makes it look like you would cheat on her for real in the future. Also you should be more embarrassed about it than feeling guilty honestly.

>>18276306

If she wanked another guy off, you genuinely wouldn't see it as cheating? How are those mental gymnastics helping out?

>>18276411
He didn't finger her though, and it was a professional. Would be more like she got a massage from a guy and he ended up massaging her cunt for a little extra money.

>>18276411
This guy has a point.
Along with that, you expect honesty out of her, and she deserves to know. So be a man and accept whatever consequences happen.

>>18276411
I meant if she received a happy ending I wouldnt have a problem with it. I dont think it hurts the quality of the relationship in any way.

But like I said, I think she would think differently

>>18276451
Cuck confirmed. You know which website to go back to

>>18276460
lol. Yeah i guess it could be seen that way. Anything more than that I would consider cheating though.

I'm probably not going to tell her. I think she would stay with me even if I did, so the whole "telling her to relieve guilt and hurt her" doesnt seem like the best idea.

I think you should tell her and say pretty much what you said here, that it was a dumb mistake and you're normally very happy in the relationship with her.
She'll probably forgive you and it's a lot easier than living with the fact that you did it and pussed out by not telling her

>>18276306
>Should I tell my GF I got a happy ending massage about a month ago?

If you're trying to piss her off yes. I see escorts every other week and never my gf about it. Sometimes I go straight to hers after busting in some 19 y/o spanish girl and have her suck my dick still covered in her juices lol.

>>18276505
Your bullshit and mental gymnastics is pathetic and disgusting. You didn't care about what she would think when you paid someone else to jack you off so dont pretend like you're doing her a favor by not yelling her about it now. You're a dishonest cunt and you are concerned with yourself, not her. Yeah she might be hurt and might by pissed, but she has every right to be. You are sparing yourself from the consequences, not her feelings. You did something shitty by her and are now going to lie about it, which is even more hurtful than just coming clean and letting her decide how she wants to handle it. Your relationship is now based on a lie.


You know all this shit already but you're just looking for validation to be a self serving coward. Yeah, you don't have to look far for that on 4chan

Don't do it OP, you made a dumb mistake, no point ruining your relationship for it.

>>18276544
Honestly, this is what I needed and kind of wanted to hear.

Im really just going back and forth trying to justify it in my head but I keep coming back to the guilt(hence the "im not telling her" post). I know that she would want to know. She is the most loving and caring girl Ive ever met so its hard to come to terms with the fact that I might lose her.

Thanks for the harsh words.

>>18276558
You made your bed,now lay in it . she deserves to know.

>>18276544
>mental gymnastics
You're the one who compared him being jerked off by a whore to her jerking some stranger off, that's fucking mental olympics.

>>18276585
Not them but I never understood why the other person being a professional necessarily makes anything better.
Yes, it could be a consolation that there was no emotional attachment. However at the same time it means that your partner wasn't blinded by infatuation or anything - he just rationally decided that the sex act itself, from whichever random whore he found, was worth more than his fidelity. That's not really reassuring when it comes to how much he values you/the relationship.

>>18276585

I could have used the example of a male masseuse sticking their fingers in her pussy and making her cum but generally, it wouldn't happen like that as women don't go for a massage to have some whore give her a posh wank. Not really mental gymnastics. Either way what the OP did is inappropriate.

>>18276585
No I didn't, that was another anon
That was my first post in the thread. What he didn't really doesn't matter the facts is OP knows it was wrong and it's wrong to continue to lie about it

>>18276593
>blinded by infatuation
How about blinded by being fucking horny? Like most every guy gets when massaged regardless of being in a relationship or not.

>>18276609
Being in love with someone is a deeper feeling than wanting sexual release, and what's more, infatuation typically also incorporates arousal much stronger than you'd feel for some random.

>>18276544
>which is even more hurtful than just coming clean and letting her decide how she wants to handle it.

Unless she never finds out about it. Then it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less hurtful.

>Your relationship is now based on a lie.

No it's not. It's based on exactly what it was based on before. There just happens to be a lie involved.

>>18276612
Exactly. What are we arguing about? He got a hard on, the whore offered to pull him off for an extra 10 bucks and he agreed on the spot. No love, no infatuation, no rational decisions, just the heat of the moment with a professional worker and it wasn't even any penetration.

Really one of the only reasons I was considering keeping it a secret is because our life is almost fucking perfect. We survived a year of long distance, moved in together 2000 miles away from our homes, and now we have good jobs and are living comfortable. For some reason internally, I just needed to fuck it up.

Its really tough to entertain the thought of ruining all of that. But she is such a sweet person(unlike any other girl ive ever met) and my gut tells me she needs to make the decision herself. I dont think I can marry her after this without telling her.

>>18276618
>crippling guilt will have absolute no adverse effects on a relationship
Lol okay faggot

and a relationship is based on, for one thing, sexual monogamy. And now that doesn't exist anymore so yes it is based on a lie from this point on until OP renegotiates the terms with his gf.

Your mental gymnastics are pathetic as well

>>18276627
If you tell her, she will believe that you were unfaithful for the time you spent in a LDR. Speaking from experience.

>>18276625
Eh, I can imagine not caring or finding it a big deal for someone to do, but to me the crux of cheating is that it's not okay with your partner, that it violates the terms established for your relationship. I don't agree that you can just decide something is or isn't a big deal when it comes to that, different things work for different people. Hell, some people get turned on knowing their partner gets some sexual pleasure elsewhere (under the right conditions).

What I argued with was the mention of her being a professional, like that would be a factor of big significance. I don't agree with that line of reasoning. Though to be fair, I did not gather from the OP that he made a rational decision, that was more thinking of men who book hookers/escorts or go to a massage place knowing they are in for a happy ending. That is to me in a way much colder than falling in love with someone else and not resisting them, or getting shitfaced and kissing someone around you or whatever.

>>18276627

I think that's very noble of you (which is surprising seeing as you let some whore jerk you off when you have such a perfect relationship). By being honest about it and explaining that there was nothing behind it, you're giving her control of the situation and allowing her to decide whether she can accept it. By keeping it from her, it'll probably cause more issues (even subconsciously). You may even end up doing something similar in the future as you've never had to deal with the consequences.

>>18276640
>You may even end up doing something similar in the future as you've never had to deal with the consequences
This is what I predict too

If you never tell you'll always feel guilty about it and there won't be any deterrent to not do it again

>>18276306
>wouldn't consider it cheating if she did it.

Doesnt matter. Cheating is your partners definition. (inb4 talking to girls or looking at porn at all is cheating if your partner thinks so.. Thats unreasonable but still hurts them. Dont date that person.)

But anywho. You made a mistake. I cheated in a past relationship so i get you. Like even a minute before it happened i would have sincerely said in full honesty itd never happen. But humans do dumb shit sometimes.

Dont tell her. Be better. Move on.

>>18276632
>no one knows how to deal with guilt

Fuck off you weak willed pussy.

>>18276640
>let some whore jerk you off when you have such a perfect relationship

Yeah I honestly think the hardest part will be trying to give her a reason for doing it. Im thinking to myself right now and my only answer is "i dont know." I really dont.

But at this point I think ive come to terms with it. I was sooo close last night to telling her. I wish I could do it now. Tonight will be the night. Fuck me.

>>18276647
Disagreed.

I mentioned earlier. Cheated in a past relationship. I didnt see it coming and it was very in the moment. I never told my ex but also never did it again.

In my current relationship of 4 years ive met no new women who werent friends of hers or gfs/wives of other friends, and i dont hang alone with girls i dont trust not to try anything, if at all.

Op knows what he did was wrong and he feels guilty and guilt itself and feeling like a dickwad is a pretty good deterrent for the future. No one likes being an asshole.

The cheat risks are people who got away with it and believe theyre entitled to it. Theyre the ones who learn its doable.

Not the ones who know its wrong in the first place.

OP made a mistake and knows it. I dont know why he cant just keep quiet and move forward instead of totally disrupting his and his gfs life.

This could even have lasting consequences on her and her future relationships. Destroy her quality of life for what? Personal integrity?

>>18276766
>Destroy her quality of life for what? Personal integrity?

She has specifically told me she would want to know. I've also joked with her in the car around town about those skeezy massage parlours and shes not okay with going to them.

On one hand, if she was in my shoes, I wouldnt want to know. Ignorance is mostly bliss.

One the other hand, our relationship is built on honesty and arguably perfect right now. I know she would rather make the decision for herself, which Im going to let her do.

At this point, my emotions are gone and Im 100% ready for a breakup if thats the case

Well anons, I told her. She doesn't want to breakup but is obviously hurt.

Man I feel like a piece of shit though.