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Hey /adv/, can you help me get emotional? (also incoming tl;dr)
>Ever since I was a really little kid, I've been almost entirely unemotional (no highs, no lows), which has lead to a cripiling lack of motivation, both academically and recreationally.
>Because of this, was shipped off to boarding school for all of my late teens (although that was partly for grades, since I've been advanced as a special case on the basis of intelligence from first grade through middle school, which they can no longer do in high school), and was in special school programs for my entire life before that
>it's to the point that I've never even played video games even though I own some, just because it seems like too much of a hastle to turn them on.
>However, every once in a great while (less than once every two months), I get a little, random, miniscule dose of happy just like everyone occassionally does, and if feels amazing. In these moments, it becomes obvious that my life would be infinitely easier if only I could feel like that naturally, which mot people do on a regular basis.
So, my question is twofold:
First, what the fuck is wrong with me? I've always been told I was just really far to the left on the emotional-varrience spectrum, but is that a sufficient answer?
Second, how can I get myself to feel happy, or feel in general? Are their any legal/illigal drugs that would help without basically lobotomizing me? Any foods I should be eating?
Other info, in case it's useful
>I've never really been interested in anything, either
>Doctors/Psychologists always said it's unlikely I suffer from depression, since I don't show any symptoms other than decreased motivation and it was "way too pervasive"
>I eat very little, and what I do is junk food, but durring my stint at the boarding school where we were forced to eat a supposedly balanced diet and do cardio, I didn't notice any significant emotional difference.
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>>18276248
Have you had a body chemistry work up done? It sounds like you might need to rebalance somethings. If you are legitimately incapable of feeling things something is blocking either your receptors or you aren't generating enough of something. You'll have to excuse my vagueness. I can't think of the actual terms.
Aside from that I'd look back into video games or other entertainment. Perhaps a fantasy or science fiction book series? The best part of this is you acknowledge its a problem and you want to fix it. So while you say you feel it's too much of a hassle to turn on your game console you should stop and think to yourself. While it's a hassle I need to do it. Basically don't let your apathy stop you from doing something. Especially since you know it is.
So yeah. Play a game for an hour or two. Look into taking vitamin B. See if you can get some body chemistry done.
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maybe you're just a sociopath
try leaving your comfort zone for a while
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>>18276285
Thing is, the only thing I DO have is sympathy, but not empathy. This leads to weird senarios like my going to great lengths to do weird shit like fishing insects out of the trash and taking them outside just to make sure they don't starve/sufficate, but then not caring if they do die. As well, I thought sociopathy was just a lack of inhibition, which meant that they were more emotional, no?
>>18276282
Blood chemistry sounds like a great idea, I'll look into that.
And I bought Sonic CD or something like that a few months ago and have been trying to will mself to play it ever since; I actually think about it pretty often. But it is good to have some external support, so thanks.
And if I am to take vitamin B, should I stay at or go above the rec. daily allowance?
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>>18276308
>empathy vs sympathy
Actually, I think I used these words wrong. What I meant to say was that I have an ethical drive, but one which has no emotional repercussions.
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>>18276308
>>18276312
Insects eat trash so you're kind killing them.
You only have empathy for non-humans? What stops you from relating to people?
Sociopathy is lack of emotional reasoning in a given social situation. E.g. killing a person who lost all his will to fight back and poses no immediate threat to you and is cowering in fear/horror.
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>>18276308
Yeah it sounds like it's a body Chem issue most likely. The Vit B might be able to help in that area. If stick with daily allowance for 5 days. If no improvement bump up to a day and a half allowance. Don't go to far however as vitamin poisoning exist. Also maybe some B12 as well.
>wants to feel things
>bought sonic game
WEW lad. Jokes aside try to will yourself to play for 30 minutes a day at the least.
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>>18276343
I don't really relate to either animals or humans, and my ethical system is so rudimentary it boils down to "don't let things die, don't make things suffer".
And I'm not exactly sure a lack of emotional reasoning need apply given I don't feel emotional in the first place, but I might be wrong.
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>>18276349
Thanks, I'll try to do just that.
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>>18276363
No problem. I used to have a similar issue. I won't say the same because I don't know how serious yours is. But I pretty much felt emotionless. Not empty and not exactly apathetic. Just, well I'm sure you know how hard it is to explain.
I eventually got a good doctor and a good therapist. The doctor I have basically gave me a full work up found out that my body wasn't producing enough of something. It's really bothering me I can't remember what it was. The therapist was good because they were a staunch realist and gave me practical advice. For example while I might not find joy in X I should still do X instead of refusing. Because X might bring me joy and it's an activity that people do normally.
I'm much better now. Only fake it about a quarter of a time. Though compared to others my emotions are very blunted, still it's nice to feel happy or even sad.
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