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Did I fuck up really hard or was there nothing for me to fuck up in the first place?
Incoming wall of text. Things in [] brackets may or may not have happened, I can’t tell.
>Be put in the same group as her for a group project
>Find out we both play LoL
>Barely interact during the semester
>At the last group meeting, she asks me if I was keeping up with (LoL) worlds
>Instantly fall in love with her
>Eventually ask her out
>She kept saying "I'm flattered" but managed to get a "maybe" in
>Kept repeating she was flustered so I interrupt, telling her to forget I asked
>we say goodbye and start walking away
>She calls out that we could play LoL together
>[She pulls out her phone wanting to type something but hesitates], then gives me her summoner name
>FF last day of uni
>End up going out for lunch with me, her, a mutual friend, and some others that she and mutual friend know
>I try to keep my distance from her
>She always ended up walking beside me as we walked to and from lunch
>[She looked kinda sad]
>Eventually everyone leaves and it's just the two of us
>Just before we part ways, she tells me why she couldn't give me an answer when I asked her out
>"You know when I couldn't say anything before you told me to forget you asked? Well I couldn't give you an answer because there were some people I wanted to see and if we went out then we'd see each other a lot and I might not have time to catch up with them since I've kinda been neglecting them because I've been living the semester in bed"
>[Last part was said as though she was ashamed, maybe dropping a hint that she’s depressed]
>[May have mentioned there was someone else she liked]
>Was completely unexpected so there might have been more, but I don't remember
>I didn't say anything after she finished telling me that stuff
>[As we walk away from each other she looked dejected]
>Few weeks into summer break
>Message her on LoL saying I’d still be interested on going out with her
>She doesn’t respond to it
part 1
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>FF orientation week of uni this year
>She’s on the committee of one of the clubs
>Visit that club’s stall to see her
>She [genuinely] looked happy to see me, [like if I went in for a hug she would have hugged back]
>Still not showing any emotions towards her
>She invites me to walk around and check out other clubs with her
>Keep my distance as we walk
>Eventually get back to her club’s stall
>Finally get her number
>Join her club
>Gives me a giftbag
>Because I had a meeting to go to, I tell her I didn’t want to carry it around with me and gave it back to her, instead of asking her to hold it for me
>[She looked disgusted that I did this]
>Went back home straight after the meeting instead of texting her or going back to the stall to see if she was still around
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>>18276228
>there nothing for me to fuck up in the first place
You need to fucking relax
>>
Sounds like you liked being in the position of her giving you attention, but sought her out when she wasn't giving you any when you were an asshole
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>At the last group meeting, she asks me if I was keeping up with (LoL) worlds
>Instantly fall in love with her
That's where you fucked up
Jesus Christ you can't "fall in love" with a girl just because she plays a video game.
>>
Seems like any time she tries to get closer to you you put on this damaged edgelord persona, which to her probably just looks like a lack of interest
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>>18277248
>Sounds like you liked being in the position of her giving you attention
This seems likely. I definitely feel less shit after she responds to a text.
>>18277271
I never wanted to feel this way about her in the first place. The first thing I did when the feelings came flooding in was curse myself out.
>>18277291
The damaged edgelord persona was me trying to not be the creeper that keeps trying to get with someone after they get rejected. I'm just a complete autist who can only be way too interested or not interested at all.
And yeah, it would definitely look like a lack of interest. But was there any interest from her end? This could all be explained away as her just being nice, right?
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Bump because I need more people telling me how much of a fuckup I am
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>>18278226
You need to chill dude. It sounds like she's into you, and you have nothing to lose by showing you're interested in her. Just go for it.
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>>18276228
>>18276232
tl;dr
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>>18278382
I can't tell if a girl likes me or not. I fuck up really hard.
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Bumping in the hopes that someone will say something that makes me stop feeling like shit. Don't know what though.
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I'm just going to say it, stop being autistic. Keep giving her the cold shoulder and eventually she's not going to care about you.
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OP I'm in a similar situation and my best advice I can give to you that has helped me a lot is that you need to be happy. Now I know that may sound cliche but I call it the "girlfriend effect" where you are happy and carefree. Not afraid of talking to anybody because you feel like there's a girlfriend of yours and all the confidence having one brings, there doesn't have to be a girlfriend of course but try to force yourself into that mentality of being happy and confident as though you actually do have one.
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>>18279419
I know, but I can't help but feel like I'm just bothering her. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, but for me, emotions prevail over logic.
>>18279901
That is unfortunately easier said than done.
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>>18277271
Finding a girl that likes your rare hobby is insanely rare since only 10% of people who play LoL are girls. I would fucking kill for a decently cute girl that plays LoL.
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>>18280598
Yea till you realize they are utter shit and can only do vs ai matches
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>>18280605
I'd take that over some dumb normie that only cares about twitter and instagram
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>>18280634
But would she take you over the 100 other guys who are also interested in her because she plays LoL?
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Alternatively, I can give her way too much attention and scare her away.
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