I'm having issues with my past lately. Specifically when

>>18275129
I need to add, I feel bad, because I turned out to be super prudish, fairly conservative when it comes to sexual stuff. So I just can't help but obsess over these past mistakes.

You might try to write an amends letter and then throw it away. Apologize for what you did and say what you are going to do differently in the future. You prob can't apologize to the girls and this boy directly without causing more harm so the letter is the next best thing. Just do not deliver. Ultimately you need to accept that sexual exploration is normal and there is nothing wrong with what you did. Forgive yourself...for being normal. Allow yourself to be human.

Be happy with the way you turned out. Remember that nobody important cares about what you did in the past, and that the people that are judging you for who you used to be rather than who you are now aren't people you want to associate with anyway.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm barely on the autism spectrum, so I fit in with """normal""" people enough, but still have a side to me that does cringeworthy, dumb, laughable shit pretty often. I've dealt with this for a long time, and I've learned to just be happy with the influence that it's had on me. The more it hurts to think about, the better you'll turn out because of it.

>>18275151
>>18275154
Thank you. Is there anyone who never did something stupid during childhood?

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>>18275181
I had sex with my neighbor when i was 7, and he was 6 years old. I didn't know what i was doing, we were just playing, after that I cried all day and felt like a horrible person. We kept it as a secret, but I said it by accident and her sister knew, she said nothing but blackmail her brother not to say "if you don't bring me that thing, I'll tell Mom", I felt so guilty for ruined his life.

I moved to a city and forgot all those things. I ended up like someone quiet, conservative and I haven't had sex or touched anyone, the simple fact of thinking terrifies me, so I have problems with my sexuality but I ignore it.

>>18275715
Last year I went to my hometown and tried to hide from him and his family, the second day his mother came into my house and up to my room and asked me if I didn't think about going to his home to greet his family, I told her I was too tired from the flight. I felt terrible, but apparently she didn't know.

Another day at night, he came to my room. Shit, I couldn't even look him in the face. Despite being a year younger than me, he was muscular and spoke like a man, I was a manlet child "hey brother, when will you think to come and say to me hello? " I felt so bad, and he kept talking "how have you been, what have you done with your life, how is the college, friend?" was probably the most uncomfortable conversation I had, I just wanted him to go away. I was hoping he would mention that but he didn't, I thought "oh, he probably should have forgotten".

That same day I felt sexual desire for the first time, and that night I fantasized about him, "what the fuck is going on" I couldn't control myself, I had never felt like this way, the next few days I was fantasizing a lot and I started masturbating too. I don't know what part of me woke up, but i wanted to experiment or try something, so I decided to go to his house to propose it, it was Christmas.

When i was going to enter his house, I saw his sister out the window, and he was taken from a girl's hand. Had not seen her ring on her finger. I felt like a loser that night, and I spent Christmas outside my house lying on the floor. He woke me up the next day, and told me if he could help me with anything. I didn't say anything, and I didn't speak to him again. I decided to move again and now i'm back in another city.

I think I'm going to live with this weight all my life.