A while ago I was with a girl. I am generally pretty insightful

It's only getting worse. I fear of doing something bad tonight.
It started with being angry and now I'm thinking of what a pointless life I have. I'm so sad and all I can think is what a happy person I've always been and how much I've been mocked and taken for granted all my life for everyone. Where did it all go wrong?

If I put a long knife through my heart, is it instant death?

>>18274050
just let out all that jealous rage bro. Just murder some bitches. That will make things better for sure.

if you think you should go on a murder spree just because someone isn't love with you, you probably need to reconsider your life and priorities... get a hobby and focus on improvement, do things for other people and don't tunnel vision onto one person. it happens to literally, LITERALLY everyone. people aren't perfectly faithful and most people don't even know what they want, let alone are in control of their feelings.
so sober up, you definitely won't find a good solution under any influence, and find something positive in your life that relies on no one else - after all, you only really have yourself.
and no, a knife will absolutely ensure a long and painful death, which is a waste of a life that someone else may fall in love with, anyway.

>>18274283
Maybe try not being such an edge lord faggot. Nobody gives a fuck that you were so insightful, and maybe if you really were you could see nobody gives a fuck that you want to be an immature prickly over some girl "wronging" you. Play some video games, hang out with your bros, whatever. Nobody is impressed by the rage of an impotent child

>>18274297
Everything seemed to pile up one over another today. It started with somebody accused me of something, then some passii aggressive bullshit that I feel was the purpose to fuck me up, then I heard the stuff with this girl. Now I'm laying here on the floor surrounded by cigars and beers, with my phone in my hand typing this.
Nobody I tried talking to ever understands my situation and can't relate at all. Now demons from my past like bullying and shitty street life to "fit in" came back in a rush.

It kills me. If the knife doesn't, it'll be a death of my soul which is already underway. Just ignored a call from somebody. I think some folk who aren't too deep with their heads in their asses can tell there's something wrong with me, but nobody can do anything for me. I also think that subconsciously I also deny all help and avoid others.

Man I'm really screwed up mentally.

>>18274332
if you think it's that bad, then try therapy so you can talk about it without being accused; you should explore all possibilities if you'll be dead anyway. call that person back and instead of romanticizing how bad your life is, try to do something fun or talk to them in your down moment, until you're in a state where you can do something productive without feeling upset. every day the feelings subside a little more.

>>18274332
Learn to forgive and let go, anon. Holding on to all that baggage is literally killing you and people aren't going to stop being people. I know it sucks right now I'm dealing with some pretty intense heartache myself. Feel your emotions, really feel them, cry it out, punch something, PRAY but don't kill anyone then let them go and move on. What happened in your past doesn't have to define you and though you're hurting if you work through this in a healthy way you'll come out stronger and wiser.

>>18274309
I calmed down, put myself in bed. But I know after tonight some shit is bound to change, whether in good or worse.
She having "wronged" me is just a consequence of my incredibly shitty life and tonight it hit me hard.

>>18274283
No, the only instant death would be explosives to the brain.

Anyway, don't do anything stupid because of this. Seriously, someobe like her isn't worth all of this. I remember this one guy tried something like that in my town, dude was about to off his ex and himself. Didn't pull it off and got like 15 years in prison. Maybe try seeking more professional help. Nothing wrong with that.