I've stopped believing, that I will ever have a normal life.

you're becoming severely depressed. you're stuck identifying this shitty period in your life as your 'whole life,' but that is not the case. this is just one moment of your life, and this is just a temporary mental state. I'm not telling you that everything is gong to be awesome in the future, but you don't have to stay in a depressed state forever.

as for the problem with school I would say lots of people run into difficulties, but banging your head against them until you start getting dazed is probably not the right solution.

It sounds like you could use a counselor or something.

>>18270682
Counsellors do not help. They only listen to my problems and take my money, that's all.

>>18270705
that's definitely the thought of a brain on low setting and sputtering out

if you don't fight your 'depression' when its telling you things are hopeless, you'll only succumb to it worse. I'm telling you to go to a counselor and maybe get something form your doc for sleep before your dad has to call the white coat men on you.

it wouldn't be the end of the world if things got worse, but I'm thinking you could even avod dropping out of school if you get on top of things now

>>18270705
>>18270774
oh and maybe you've had bad or unhelpful experiences with counselors before. a lot of them are shit, but your situation is pretty normal and I'm sure you can find one of them that will help you get through this - of course you need to be open to the idea that things can get better instead of thinking of ways out and ways things will fail.

Wanna hear something shitty? Some just people just have shitty lives. The circumstances, sometimes, do not allow you do have anything better than what you have.

Take me. I'll never, in my entire life, visit america simply for being born where I am. Not that I love america, but it feels bad knowing that there are things I'll never get to experience unless the world is literally rewritten and the old "rules" go away, which won't happen in the foreseeable future.

>>18270798
I think he's more upset about failing things than his life circumstances. Things are still relatively dynamic in the US, at least compared to the rest of the world. You can go from poverty to what some people consider upper class if you focus your effort.

that's why people still like America although it has become quite unpleasant here