I dated my ex for 6 years. We had a very happy relationship.

>>18269721
>We had to break up because he doesn't want kids and I do.

Stop being a selfish retard.

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>>18269721
Do you legitimately believe that being with him, along with the happiness it brings you, is worth not having children?

And have you found out why? Maybe we would consider adoption or something.

Also what is your age? He might change over time.

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>>18269734
Dont act like that was selfish of her. Thats her life, thats her dreams. She wants kids it isnt shameful. I do think she should have worked through it not just intantly break up though.

>>18269741
>She wants kids it isnt shameful.

It's not the most important thing in the world. When you love someone, you consider whether or not children will affect your relationship in a negative way. You don't just toss the pros and cons out the window because they won't want to drop THEIR dreams to play house with you. Don't glorify the parent thing, and encourage people like that to place raising a family as more important than who you're raising it with and whether or not you're sacrificing your own happiness to fulfill a social role.

>>18269734
Neither of us is more "selfish" than the other.

>>18269737
I honestly don't know. We are a perfect match and we had a very full, amazing life: travelled the world, worked on our careers, had plenty of hobbies. Even just sitting on the couch and talking to him felt meaningful.
But I am a very motherly person and I always wanted to be a mother. So. I am a bit confused.

His mother was a drug addict and she used to beat him. He had a genuinely terrible childhood and he doesn't want kids because he is scared of making them go through the same stuff he went through.

I am 25, he's 28.

>>18269741
We did talk about it for 2 years before deciding to break up, it wasn't something immediate. We tried to work through it.

>>18269747
>It's not the most important thing in the world.
Maybe it is for me?

>When you love someone, you consider whether or not children will affect your relationship in a negative way.
They wouldn't. We are both well off, we have flexible schedules, our dreams are compatible with having a family one day.

>>18269756
>our dreams are compatible with having a family one day.

Yours are. But if you want a family, have one with someone you don't actually care about, so you won't be too upset when the children completely destroy the relationship.

>>18269759
I'm sure no couple ever in history was happy after having children.

>>18269765
So there you go. Just find some shmuck with money, like mothers have been doing for thousands of years.

Or, be with someone you love and don't.

>>18269770
I was sarcastic.
I don't need someone else's money to raise a family, to be fair.
I just have no desire to be with someone other than him.

Anyway, you're not really adding anything useful so I'll just ignore you.

>>18269773
That's the most useful advice I can give ... you only have two options, date other people or go back to them, or you can just go to a sperm bank and do it all yourself. Or did you expect someone to tell you how to convince him to change his mind?

>>18269777
I was looking for advice on what to do, or how to bring myself to date someone I like less than him, or maybe someone who was in a similar situation and what did they do/if they regret what they did.
I don't want him to have children if he doesn't want to, I'd never talk him into it or trick him into it.

>>18269790
Well there's always a sperm bank, so you don't really need to convince anybody of anything. They make it reeeally easy for just about anybody to have kids these days.

> so I'll just ignore you.

And when you have kids, don't let them call your bluff.

>>18269756
>Maybe it is for me?
Sounds like you want kids more than you want him. Your inability to compromise proves you don't love him as much as you think you do.
>>18269790
>I don't want him to have children if he doesn't want to, I'd never talk him into it or trick him into it.
And yet you broke up because of it.

Listen sweet heart, you need to have more patience if you're trying to move on, or at least put more effort into moving on. You talk about him like he's your one and only, which is a problem. Keep your mind off of him. Have a friend hook you up with someone. What's your dating life like at the moment? I'm sure you're not so ugly and horrible that you don't have any beta orbiters.

>>18269802
>Sounds like you want kids more than you want him.
I initially agreed to not have kids to stay with him, but it made me unhappy and he couldn't bring himself to make me so miserable.
We talked about it a lot and we finally agreed that it was better if we tried to find someone else.

There's no compromise that is really a compromise in this situation. I either give up on something that means a lot to me or force him into something he doesn't want.

>You talk about him like he's your one and only, which is a problem.
He is tho. I've never liked a guy after him.

>What's your dating life like at the moment?
Flat. I get asked out quite a bit, agree to go out with some guys, but it never worked out.
I managed to go on 10 dates with a guy last year but dumped him because even if he was fine I wanted my ex more.

>I'm sure you're not so ugly and horrible that you don't have any beta orbiters.
I don't have any because I don't want to - I have a couple of male friends (both married, both my friends for 20+ years) and I don't really keep around people who want to fuck me if I don't want to fuck them.
I wouldn't date a guy who is a "beta orbiter", to be fair.

What a bunch. If your gf was perfect in every way, except she did not want sex, that would be a deal breaker. Not wanting children is on that same level. It is a very important life goal and a major part of forming your family.
Go see a therapist, it will help a lot break up your thought patterns and allow you to move on. And next time, know your deal breakers and discuss life goals before getting in too deep with someone.

>>18269828
>Go see a therapist, it will help a lot break up your thought patterns and allow you to move on.
I already do. Hasn't helped.

>And next time, know your deal breakers and discuss life goals before getting in too deep with someone.
I was much younger when we started dating and didn't really think about it.
Now, of course, I do.

>>18269741
Having kids is one of the most selfish acts there is.

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I'm very sorry to hear that, OP. I really feel for you.

My fiancee and I broke up recently and it was due to circumstances I won't really go into.
Suffice it to say, we left each other in tears and still completely in love. It has destroyed me.

I'm afraid to move on. I'm afraid to forget.

It hurts so fucking much.

I'm sorry for not offering any advice. I can only say that I completely understand where you're coming from, and that I hope you'll find complete and full happiness rather sooner than later, in whatever way is best for you. I have to believe this, because I don't believe it for myself anymore.

>>18269886
I feel the same.
It was really terrible for the first 6-9 months, now it is just... empty.

It gets better after a while. Wish you all the best.

You need to cut contact with him completely and focus on your personal development.

It's impossible for you to meet someone and fall in love with them because you're romanticizing the relationship you had with your ex. The fact is, he wasn't perfect and you didn't work together because you disagree on a fundamental issue and are both unwilling to compromise (as well you shouldn't, as it will always leave one person unhappy.

No matter what happens, your ex will not give you children and does not want to have children with you. If you value your relationship over your need to be a mother, go back to him.

You need to accept that although it was probably a great relationship, the issues within it were just too strong for it to last. He won't be the only person you feel this strongly about but if you keep telling yourself there is nobody else for you, it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So yeah - cut contact completely, don't go to him when something in your life doesn't work out and I promise you this separation will do you good. By keeping him there as a source of support, you're tricking your brain into thinking he's the only one out there when he's really not.

My previous relationship lasted 7 years and we also disagreed on a huge issue too, so I'm speaking from experience.

>>18269912
Thanks for your comment.

We don't talk regularly. We talked a few times when those things I listed in the OP happened, but the last time I talked to him was months ago, when his mom died. Before that we hadn't talked for nearly a year.
We were each other's best friend and I was the only person he ever opened up with ever, so I couldn't bring myself to turn him when I saw him sitting at my door, crying like a baby.

I do romanticise the relationship I have with him, a lot, and I'm sure it makes it extremely hard for me to move on. He does the same.
He wasn't perfect of course, but he was... compatible with me at a level I never experienced with anyone before or after him, both intellectually and personality wise. Plus, yeah - he was extremely attractive and we were very compatible sexually.
I just feel like anything after him would be worse. And, as you said, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: I don't allow myself to like anyone else.

>>18269747
>It's not the most important thing in the world.
Yeah it's not like you are literally made to get children or anything

>>18269927

Exactly. And I understand why you'd do that, especially if you met when you were younger and he was your first everything. That relationship is one that most people idolize and look back on fondly - and it's usually the one which hurts you the most.

You have to decide which is more important to you - having a child or spending your life with this person. What if you couldn't have children anyway? What if you get back together with him and you end up breaking up anyway, when you're too old to have children? Either way you'll feel regret, but which one could you deal with?

My advice would be to accept that this guy was your first love but not the only guy like this. Of the billions of people in this world, the idea that he's special to the point where nobody is similar is ridiculous. Also, maybe stop looking for a carbon copy of this guy - if he's your first then you won't have any experience of the alternatives. Consider people on their own merit and you might find that you end up falling for someone completely different to your ex, who also wants to have a million babies with you.

>>18269935
Only an utter retard equivalates reproduction with the "meaning" of life. Like *you've* got everything all figured out. It's just as valid of a reason to live as finding happiness.

>>18269945
I think he means biologically, not philosophically

>>18269960
What's the difference? I would give anything to have what OP has and be able to travel the world with someone I love, happiness is just as much of a "biological" need as reproducing, it doesn't automatically get tossed in the witchcraft and nonsense bin because it doesn't yield material results. Why is one more important than the other?

>>18269940
I understand what you say. I don't know what I'll regret most, if being without him or not having a child. I never actually seriously thought of it because I never seriously thought about giving up on one thing or the other, in a way. I always hoped he'd realise he'd be an amazing father and call me, I guess.

>Also, maybe stop looking for a carbon copy of this guy
I don't in many ways, but I do in others.

We had a very codependent (but functional) relationship. I think that I poured a lot of my maternal love on him and maybe, since his relationship with his mom was so fucked up, he needed me to be a bit of a mom other than a girlfriend.
I wouldn't want someone like him in that aspect right now, but of course we bonded very deeply because of this and found a lot of happiness in it.

He was especially good looking but the world is full of good looking guys so that's not really the issue.

The one thing I have more issues with is the intellectual level. He was very witty, very smart, knew lots about various subjects I am interested in, shared a lot of my hobbies and passions. We travelled the world, spent entire summers on his motorcycle going around Europe, hiked for months... I don't know, we just never run out of things to do or to talk about. It was enjoyable, all around. He's also really hilarious and charming.
It's weirdly hard to find a man who enjoys math, mid 900 american literature, german art, hiking, politics, football, astrophysics and motorcycles.

>>18270005
>I always hoped he'd realise he'd be an amazing father and call me, I guess.

He probably hoped you'd drop the issue and wait for him to decide if he's ready to do it. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen and that would be okay too, because 1/2 is better than nothing.

>>18269734
Why doesn't he stop being a selfish retard?

>>18269747
Having kids is incredibly important to some people. It's valid to leave a relationship for fucking sex, are you telling me sex ranks higher in important for a relationship than whether or not you have kids?

>>18269759
>children always ruin relationships

Are you fucking retarded?

>>18270044
>It's valid to leave a relationship for fucking sex, are you telling me sex ranks higher in important for a relationship than whether or not you have kids?

Well it makes sense to me.

>>18270022
Oh I'm sure.
Just to be clear - I never really pressured him into making me pregnant right away or anything, he was just very scared of the idea and I didn't want him to do something that made him unhappy.

>>18269721

>We had to break up because he doesn't want kids and I do.

*sigh* how fucking stupid

>>18270065
What you had with him is pretty rare for most people, some go their entire lives without ever having it. Yes there are other fish in the sea, and you already know whether or not you think it's worth it to hedge your bets on finding someone you'll care about just as much that will want kids. Just realize that it's not necessarily guaranteed to happen.

>>18270070
How is that stupid?

>>18270081
It's stupid to people who prioritize love over children. Anybody can have kids. Most people with kids don't have love. Many people have neither.

>>18270086
It might be stupid for you, for me it isn't. Different people have different priorities.

>Most people with kids don't have love
That's simply untrue.

>>18270080
I'm sure that what we had is rare, I am not questioning it. There's a reason why I'm so unable to move on.
But, yeah - I don't want to grow to hate him because I feel like my life has been meaningless and I gave up on myself to be with him.

>>18270098
Most people with kids are way more miserable in their lives and marriages than people without.

>>18270098
>That's simply untrue.

You don't have anything to go by but their word and your idealism. I have not heard one parent say they didn't love their children, but actions speak louder than words in this case and ultimately the most honest testimony to the relationship's integrity is by the child, after it's grown. And I have read a LOT of fucked up stories over the years by anons about their families, parents who go through their entire lives with 0 self-awareness about how they were affecting the people around them.

>Different people have different priorities.

If you had come to this conclusion through actual introspection, you wouldn't have made this thread.

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>>18270107
>hate him because I feel like my life has been meaningless and I gave up on myself to be with him

What the fuck?

>>18270108
Statistically speaking, that's simply untrue.
Households with children tend to be happier than those without children.

>>18270112
Yes. And I've heard plenty of people who had good families and grew up happy, I know of a lot of marriages that lasted for 50+ years. My parents have been together for 35 years, my grandparents have both been together for 50+ years, a lot of my friends' parents stayed together for long.
I know some people are fucked up and have fucked up kids, but it's not most. 4chan isn't the best data sample.

>>18270118
I want kids and I have a very strong maternal instinct. I always felt like I was meant to be a mother, it was fundamental to me since I was very young.
I always feared that if we stayed together and I gave up on the idea of having kids, I'd grow to resent him for taking something I care about so much away from me.

>>18270129
>I'd grow to resent him for taking something I care about so much away from me.

This makes about as much sense as hating yourself for loving him.

>>18270081

There are 3 choices while you can only take 2 of them

A. your love for each other
Aa. have kids
Ab. no kids

you chose to discard the vital one and even tried to love other men. What the fuck is wrong with you? One of your wants/preferences are doomed to be unsatisfied should you choose the correct choice but does that matter for a relationship you can/should treasure? That's almost impossible to get nowadays with all the filth and malice that's lying around for dime a dozen.

It's not too late, you have to go back. Unhappiness that could result for getting your wants unsatisfied could be mended by a loving partner

>>18270129
>Statistically speaking, that's simply untrue.
No, statistics confirm it.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/07/06/many-americans-will-tell-you-having-kids-made-them-happier-theyre-probably-lying/

>>18270142
>It's not too late, you have to go back.

And god help that man.

>>18270143
Shurg. Found different statistics.
And I'm amazingly uninterested in a discussion about whether having kids or not makes people happy or unhappy. It's something I truly want and something I deeply wanted since I can remember.

>>18270142
I do believe you can love more than one person in your life.
It's not "one of my wants/preferences". He's not asking me to live in a flat instead of living in a house. He's asking me to give up on the idea of ever having kids. It's a big deal, it is something that deeply matters to me and I don't know if I'd ever be able to forgive myself in case I actually decided to not have kids to be with him.

>>18270155
>have your cake
>eat your cake

welcome to life

>>18270155
>And I'm amazingly uninterested in a discussion about whether having kids or not makes people happy or unhappy
>claiming you're not interested in a discussion you started once you're proven wrong

real smooth. lmao idiot.

>>18270159
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/fatherhood/why-families-with-three-or-more-children-are-the-happiest/
There are studies that show otherwise.

It's a stupid discussion, and ultimately doesn't matter.

>>18270129
>Households with children tend to be happier than those without children.

That is patently false. I wish I could find a link to the study I'm referencing, but last I read couples who have children tend to be significantly less happy during the 18 year course the children are living with them due to the financial burden and run of the mill difficulties in raising and housing a child into teenager.

My husband and I talk about having kids a couple times a year, but we're not going to bother for a long time if at all. Millenials don't have kids both because they're expensive, and because they're a huge burden.

My husband definitely wants spawn at some point, but I don't really. There was a point where I wouldn't even consider it but over time I've softened on the issue. Still, it's nowhere in our near future.

I feel for you because I myself had a 6 month stint of "baby-crazy", but don't kid yourself on the realities of parenthood.

>>18270169
Except it does because that's probably a major reason why he didn't want kids.

>>18269734
Grow up.

>>18270171
Money isn't an issue at all. He has a good job and I own a house and have a really good job as well. When we lived together, we saved half of our wages.
Of course raising a child is complicated, I don't think it'll be all fun and shit, but I want it nonetheless.

I don't want kids in the next few years, but I want them in the future.

>>18270172
Except it isn't.
He was abused physically by his mother and doesn't want to have kids because he's terrified of being a bad father and ruining them like his mother ruined him. As I said before.

>>18269747
Are you fucking dumb. Do you know what happens as women get older? They can't have kids. You don't want to be stuck without having kids if you really wanted them. It's one of the most common regrets.

>>18270190
Why don't you read the thread and follow your own advice? OP is confused because they can't literally have everything in their life go perfectly but anyone who doesn't worship children at all costs are all the immature ones.

>>18270197
It's a grass is greener scenario, these people will act like it's literal torture to never have known what it was like to dedicate their whole lives to raising kids. They have no point of reference for what they missed out on.

>>18270171

I'm genuinely going through a period of baby crazy at the moment (almost 30) but I'm way too realistic and in tune with how difficult having a child is, so I just cannot make the final leap to suggest it to my partner.

I just keep thinking...what if there's something wrong with it? What if we lose our jobs? What if it's a really difficult baby and I don't get to sleep? What if we lose our amazing relationship because we have to live for this tiny little crying thing?

I love the idea of creating a new life with my boyfriend because I cannot think of another person I'd rather mix my DNA up with, but damn my analytical brain...

>>18270202
I understand I can't have everything - having children and a man I love tho seems pretty fundamental to me, and so it is to most people.

>>18270237
It's not an entitlement and that's how you are treating it.

>>18270239
I am not. I don't feel entitled. I feel torn between a person I deeply love and something I strongly desire. I want to have both.
I can't be "Oh I'll just give up on this thing I've wanted since I was a child and feel very strong instincts for because I can't really have it all, duh", and no normal person would be. I fail at moving on from him.

>>18270245
>no normal person would be

This is typical of someone with a superiority complex. I don't believe your 'instincts' trump your ability to reason, you just are upset that you can't have your fairytale life.

>>18270253
I am upset because I have to decide between being with the man I love or having something I really want and always wanted. And it is pretty normal.

If being with someone you love meant giving up on your dream career, your family, your ideals or some other thing that made you happy and you felt strongly for wouldn't you be upset? Wouldn't it be a difficult choice?
It's not about having a "fairytale" life. I never had it and honestly don't want to have it.

Cut contact. Meet someone new, and have kids with him. It's the right thing.

>>18269838
Oxymoron. You can't take care of life (one of the most selfless acts there are) without giving it to the world (just an act of creation by itself).

>>18269972
There's a big difference. Learn to read and stop projecting your problems into this shit.

>>18270202
What the fuck are you talking about
I just saw literally the first comment saying how OP is selfish for wanting to have kids
You tell me to read the thread, what the fuck does that have anything to do with that first comment
It's her life and her choices if she wants kids, how the fuck is that selfishness
Grow the fuck up

>>18270284
>You can't take care of life (one of the most selfless acts there are)
>Look at me everybody, I HAVE to take care of this new person, from both ethically and legally. I have no idea whether or not this is going to result in anything remarkably positive, but I'm supposed to do it, so in conclusion can you babysit this weekend?

>>18270298
Is this a joke? Cus I don't get it

>>18269721
I'm a guy. Many men don't want children until they're in their late 30s, because they feel like they have to live an independent life. My ex-gf always wanted kids, I'm still unsure right now but I'm sure I'll want kids in a few years. Im in my mid-twenties.

Gf and me broke up 9 months ago after almost 7 years of relationship, we were together from 16 to 23 years old. I'm still in love with her, and she still has a lot of feelings for me. I want her back, but at the same time I don't want to hold her back. I'm only happy when I'm with her, don't care about any other people, not even myself. She tells me she doesn't really love her new boyfriend and that I was perfect. Says she wants to have many men, me included, but she means it more in a relationship-way than a sex-way. I've also slept with a few women, but it doesn't give me any satisfaction.
There's a girl I really get along well with that I could have a relationship with. So I'm hesitating to do it in order to be able to move on, although I know it's wrong. On the other hand, I don't know if trying to win my ex back is the right thing to do.

I don't expect any advice, just needed to share and wanted to say that I can understand how you might be feeling.

>>18270155

>I do believe you can love more than one person in your life.

And this is why you would always suffer. You are ignoring the one who's in front of you for the sake of others that you cannot hope or you've yet to see. Enjoy your self-destructive choice

>>18270005

This has absolutely nothing to do with your original post, but... which area of mathematics interests you the most?

>>18270544
I'm not ignoring him for the sake of others.
I broke up with him because being with him meant giving up on something that meant a lot to me.

>>18270562

Also, to contribute something of substance: I'm in a similar situation. I'm in a very serious relationship with somebody sharing many of my interests. Like you and your ex, we differ on whether or not to have children (she doesn't want them; I do).

I differ from you philosophically in that I believe that there is nothing wrong with talking my partner into wanting children. Our situation is perhaps not exactly analogous, however, in that my girlfriend is able to acknowledge that most of her reservations (e.g., loud when they're young, require a lot of attention) come from current immaturity: she's for the most part amenable to my arguments as to why having children is important (e.g. creating a fuller later life, personal growth, teaching our values to the next generation, ...).

>>18270562
Number theory. Find it beautiful.

I was much more into math a few years ago. In high school I was in the math team, I won a scholarship and I took college level classes for a couple of years. I went for something completely unrelated in college tho.
My ex studied math and he used to teach me about it at night.

>>18270581
He is amazing with children and kids love him. As everyone, he isn't a fan of loud kids but I think the main issue is his complete terror of "ruining" them.

Probably your situation is more easy to fix, since as she matures she'll probably get over her current reservations.

>>18270467
I can totally empathise.
I hope it gets better. It is extremely hard to break up with someone you love.
I hope you get better :)

>>18270607

Number theory is interesting to me as well! I should note, though, that I'm a theoretical computer scientist by training with a particular specialization in cryptography. My number-theoretic interests are therefore limited to the scope of what I can apply to my own work and probably less encompassing than your own.

>ruining children

I don't want to coerce you into violating your conscience, but it sounds to me like your ex may simply have a confidence barrier reinforced by his painful childhood memories. From the depiction you've given, I would wager that there may be a day when your ex finds that he does want children.

>>18270627
Oh he worked into cyber security for a while. He loves cryptography and such things. Made me love them as well.


I genuinely think he'd be an amazing father. He was very angry and did some stupid shit when we were younger, but he grew into such a calm and loving man.

We used to babysit his little sister and his older sister's son and he was perfect with them. Just seeing him play with them made my heart melt.

I wouldn't talk him into it, but I still hope he changes his mind.

>>18269824
Fair points BUT
>He is tho. I've never liked a guy after him.
Is the type of shit that'll keep you thinking of him. You have to move on from that if you want to move on from him.

Where did you guys meet if you don't mind me asking?

>>18270711
and also I think you should go back with him. You're very lucky to have found your true soulmate.

>>18270711
As I mentioned I took some college classes in high school. He was studying math in college. So we met in class.
He offered to show me around. We started talking, had a lot in common (he quoted my favourite book in our first conversation) and he asked me out for a coffee. I was 17 and he was 20.
He was amazingly charming and I was crazy about him already.

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>>18270749
Wow you guys sound like you are very intelligent people. Like i said you should go back with him i am sure a guy like him will eventually want to have some kids you just need to wait. I'd really do anything to have a life as great as yours desu. Hopefully you'll get to have kids and add a couple of smart people on this planet. I envy you OP. Take care :)

>>18270566

You are discarding him for your selfishness and that's not love. It's perfectly fine to be selfish as part of your individuality but could that actually compete with someone who can literally cry at your doorstep and be with you at your most memorable moments of your life?

Jesus Christ are you damn stupid. If you're just trolling, you're real good congratulations. But I refuse to believe that such a stupid person exist who's breathing the same oxygen that I do right now

Think of it this way: the kids won't be the kids you want them to be if you don't have them with the person you want to have them with the most. You wouldn't want to lose that person because that's your best chance at having children that you actually want to have, and not a living embodiment of a relationship you feel less comfortable in.

>>18271010
Stop being a faggot. One partner wanting children and the other not is a perfectly valid reason to break up. Honestly probably should've seen where he stood on this before you even started dating.

>>18271169
>One partner wanting children and the other not is a perfectly valid reason to break up.

If you don't really care about the person and just see relationships as a means to an end.

>>18271169

>muh logic valid reason n shiet

Fuck off subhuman. You should know by now that that's not how love works. It's a simple question of "Are you very happy with each other? Y/N, Can you see yourself growing old with this man/woman? Y/N" and if both of you answered yes to both questions you will see it through no matter what shit comes afterwards. Why do robots not know this?

>>18271179
>>18271499
What in the actual everloving fuck is wrong with you?

>berating people for not wanting kids
>WHAT YOU WANT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK YOU SHOULD WANT MATTERS >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>18271010
I am not.
I tried to stay with him and accept the fact that I wasn't going to have kids.
I felt miserable. I cried every single day for months (in the car, because I didn't want him to feel bad). I felt no drive to do things because I saw no purpose.
He couldn't bring himself to make me so miserable and he told me we should break up.

Your idea that I just went "oh you don't want kids? Fine, fuck off" is ridiculous. We talked for years about this. We tried to work it out.

>>18271104
That's very true.

>>18271169
>Honestly probably should've seen where he stood on this before you even started dating.
I was a child. Right now, I surely would.

>>18269734
Wew lad. You should kill yourself. Thanks in advance.

>>18269721
ask him why he doesn't want one
if its something along with the lines of "birthing a hellspawn in this cruel world is terrifying" then suggest to him to adopt one

OP

He will likely change his mind when he's older.

The brain does that, my dad had me when he was 46 years old.

I'm 20 and he was in fucking nam' literally gave me autism because he had me so old that piece of shit.

Like at 45 years old he was like nah I'm not going to have kids
44 nah
43 nah
28 nah
35 nah

But fucking 46

That motherfucker, he died on my birthday. haha....

>>18272524
Anyway

If they're perfect try getting a dog or something and you can show each other how caring for a living thing will be like.

>>18272524
>>18272530
I'm sorry for your dad, anon.

We had a dog, lives with him now.
We loved taking care of it, we used to go running with the dog every evening and took long trips with him when we travelled by car or when we hiked.
It was super badass.

Of course, nothing like having a child.

>>18269721
My parents were kinda like this. My mom wanted kids and my dad didn't. So my mom kinda let it go, but she got pregnant and once my brother was born both my parents loved being parents. My father had time and time again said how having kids was the best thing that happened to him, even though he didn't originally want them.

Your ex may just not be in a position right now where he wants kids, maybe he still feels like he wants "freedom".

I would suggest you guys get back together and see where it goes from there. Maybe get married, wait several years and give it a shot.

>>18272728
We both don't really want to get married.

>>18269747
Um no sweetie children are the meaning of life

>>18271179
You can care about someone and choose not to continue things because they have different wants out of life. How much of a child are you?

>>18272755
Maybe your meaning of life, Anon; don't be so condescending.