Hey /adv/, I have a problem that's threatening to ruin a

>>18269132
Why don't you ask her to switch to a safer system?

If she has no issues with hormones, hormonal IUD or the implant have a 99.9% of safety.

Put it in her butt?

>>18269132
Just pull out if you're that concerned about it.

>>18269132
You could just pull out, you know.

I want to be very clear, I DO NOT ADVOCATE using the withdrawal method alone, as your sole method of contraception, but used in combination with another birth control method it's reasonably effective. With typical use of both methods (aka assuming your dumb ass fucks it up and accidentally ejaculates inside her a couple of times over the course of the year) the failure rate is between 1 and 2 in 100. With perfect use (you're careful and never fuck it up) the failure rate is closer to 1 in 1000.

Of course, as noted you also could ask her to switch - that's even better.

>>18269152
Interesting idea, but she is actually using the pill for medical reasons (menstruation pains), so she can't really quit and it can't be used together with IUD. Maybe her doctor will allow her to switch? I kind of doubt it
>>18269157
That will just make it more difficult to penetrate
>>18269167
>>18269169
That's a really good idea, I wonder if I can convince her. I haven't tried pulling out before though, how difficult is it?

>>18269171
>>18269169
>>18269167
It seems the pull out method with the pill does not provide additional protection

>>18269175
Woops, forgot my reference
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/birth-control-pull-out-method

>>18269171
I did exactly what you're considering doing (pulling out in combination w/ the pill) for years with my girlfriend in college and it was fine. To my recollection I never fucked up. In my opinion it's really not that hard (haha. hah. hah.)

However, THAT SAID - there's a reason they call it "typical use." Clearly there are a lot of people out there who think they're gonna be able to do it consistently and are wrong, or they wouldn't call it that. It's tempting to write them all off as dumbfucks, and think, "well, I won't screw up like them because I'm not a dumbfuck" but ... isn't that probably what they all thought too?

What really helps - don't even let yourself get that close while you're actually having sex. I think that's probably where the majority of folks go wrong, they try to pull out right before they orgasm and of course if you do that you'll screw up sometimes. So instead just have sex for a while and then pull out, and finish up with oral or just masturbate, whatever floats your boat. If you do that every time I give you pretty decent odds. Not perfect, but decent. No, it's not as much fun as just letting go during sex, but it beats the hell out of condoms.

At the end of the day, no, it's not an ideal solution. It is nowhere near as safe as an implant for instance, but even if you screw it up a few times your odds are pretty near equivalent to those of a couple that ONLY uses condoms, even with perfect use (and vastly better than the typical-use failure rate for condoms).

Never kid yourself, you're assuming a certain amount of risk. But a modest amount of risk, in my opinion. It's up to you (and your girlfriend) to decide if you're comfortable with that.

>>18269177
>>18269175
Color me extremely skeptical of that article. If I'm reading it right, and I'll admit I read it quickly, it's basing its point on exactly two things

1. There haven't been any studies done on people who combine the pill + withdrawal method, so there's no article in a journal anywhere you can point to that says "yes, this works for sure."
2. A quote from an ob/gyn who says, "If you're using both methods, the majority of your protection is coming from the more effective method."

In re: the second point - well, duh.

In re: the first, in this case, absence of evidence really doesn't imply evidence of absence - it literally just means that there hasn't been any research done. Well, OK, fair enough. But I cannot think of a single reason why it WOULDN'T provide additional protection, although I readily admit I can't PROVE that it does.

>>18269197
That's a good tip, but I am still not clear on whether pulling out will provide additional protection, I couldn't find any scientific evidence for it. I do think the article I quoted before misunderstood the original paper though, so I can't really say I found evidence against either.
My girlfriend is a medical doctor, so she will want something concrete.

>>18269177
>your primary method (like the Pill, the IUD, etc.) is really doing most of the work
No shit. But that doesn't mean it doesn't help your odds. Planned Parenthood recommends withdrawal as a supplement to other methods of birth control.

>>18269171
Well, all hormonal birth control has the same effect on menstruation pains. Of course she should switch to IUD or the implant and not use both together, but the effect is the same and the failure rate for IUD and implant is infinitely lower.

>>18269210
You're right, and it seems they also misquoted the study from Contraception they are quoting.
As for why it might not provide additional protection, this is just a hypothesis, but this sounds possible: Most of the failure when using the pill comes from imperfect use, that means there are days or hours when you might get pregnant, rather than having a certain chance of becoming pregnant with each intercourse. The withdrawal method is not very effective (at least with typical use) not only due to people who can't pull out in time but also due to pre-ejaculatory fluid pregnancy following leftover cum in the urethra. That means that the withdrawal is not protecting you a lot of the time. If the time during which you are protected by withdrawal is negligible when compared to the time you are protected by the pill, it is not likely to provide additional protection.

>>18269171
Pills can be used along with the copper IUD.

That being said, it's also partly your responsibility, you should probably get used to condoms

>>18269215
That's good to hear, I'll look it up. Thanks.
>>18269218
>>18269220
Interesting, I'll try and discuss the IUD with her, hopefully, she won't get angry about it since I am suggesting inserting something like that into her body just because I suck with condoms.

Still hoping for tricks to not get so desensitized by condoms if anyone has any!

>>18269222
make sure you don't have a death grip, first of all. then try other brands like Skins.

>>18269222
She's on birth control. Just have sex already. That 91% statistic is an average up to and including bitches who straight forgot to take their shit for a week. If she's diligent about taking her pills there's next to no risk.

(Disclaimer: Having sex inherently risks making children, the only 100% sure method of birth control is abstinence.)

>>18269219
>The withdrawal method is not very effective
22 unwanted pregnancies per 100 women per year.

.22*.09= 2% chance per year using both. Unless there's some sort of reason why the woman taking her pill incorrectly would line up with the man pulling out incorrectly more often than random chance would dictate.

>>18269224
I'll look it up, my current pharmacy only has R3 which is terrible and Durex which is meh. I know I have a death grip, but I'm afraid it is too late to fix that.
>>18269228
I wish I could convince her, but she's calling the shots here. And I can understand her because every girl I've ever dated had days when she forgot to take her pill (including an engineer, 2 PhD students, and a medical doctor). It's really hard to keep it up every day over long periods.

>>18269228
>the only 100% sure method of birth control is abstinence.
Keep in mind that all of these statistics include improper use/forgetting, etc. Judging abstinence by the same scale (oops, I fucked up and forgot the condom/oops, I fucked up and had sex), it's actually the least effective form of birth control by a wide margin. Humans simply weren't designed for celibacy.

>>18269236
>It's really hard to keep it up every day over long periods.
No, it's really not. In fact, the longer she does it, the better she should get at taking it. That's how responsible people take medication they require for their lives to not turn on their heads on a whim. I'm not saying whoopsies won't ever occur, it would be dumb to expect that, but unless you're banging every day and she doesn't take the pills for like a week straight losing efficacy over one day is not all that plausible.

>>18269228
Don't forget that if she has some stomach issues, she might not digest it as well as it should, so even if she never forget it, the odds won't be at the theoric 99.99

>>18269236
>I know I have a death grip

forget the condoms, this is your #1 problem. nofap is a meme but it honestly works for death grip. you even have a gf so that helps immensely, just fuck her instead of fapping.

if women can bounce back from industrial strength vibrators, men can come back from a tight grip

>>18269245
I've started nofap a few days ago. But since I can't penetrate her, I have to finish by masturbation when we fuck, so the death grip isn't solved.

>>18269242
>abstinence means 0 sexual contact
>there's still a way to conceive a child asexually

Whatever you say champ.

>>18269252
Then don't finish till you can do it without death gripping you mong. It only works if you do it right.

>>18269265
you know what he meant, tard

>>18269272
No, I don't. There's literally no way to "incorrectly use abstinence". You're either abstinent or you're not. You're 100% sexually inactive, or you're not. It's not my fault he (you) doesn't understand simple logic.

>>18269265
I can tell reading comprehension isn't your strong suit, so let's try this again:
>Condoms are >99.99% effective when you're not a fucking retard and do some stupid shit like forget to put it on, flip it inside out, double bag it, or keep going after you feel it break.
>Condoms are only 82% effective as a primary form of birth control, because people are fucking retarded
>Abstinence is 100% effective when you don't go out and fuck somebody anyway
>Abstinence is wholly ineffective as a primary form of birth control, because most people can't handle not having sex entirely for extended periods of time

>>18269269
Tried that, but the ball pain is intense after a couple of time having sex without finishing, I could barely walk.

>>18269283
>abstinence is wholly ineffective if you're not practicing abstinence

No fucking way, blew my mind bro.

So tell me again how abstinence isn't a 100% effective form of birth control. PROTIP: Because people stop practicing abstinence is not a correct answer. By your logic, the whole percentage of effectiveness for every birth control is now under suspicion because the effectiveness is reliant on whether you're intentionally practicing birth control at all.

>>18269291
Then stop having sex. Quit engaging in anything sexual until you can be brought to completion by LITERALLY ANYTHING other than you death gripping your cock. This is the problem. Cut off the problem, everything becomes easier.

>>18269132
You probably just need to be healthier and fitter.

You can try L-arginine in the mean time. It worked a lot for me but now i got /fit/ i cant really get any harder boners.

>>18269294
But that's what he is saying. The scientific method of measuring the efficacy of birth control is to measure the number of pregnancies over a year.
For instance, oral contraception (pills) is extremely effective at the lab, allowing only 0.3 pregnancies per year per 100 women, but in clinical trials and cohort studies, there are consistently around 9 pregnancies/year/100 women. That is not because oral contraception is less effective, but because people are not practicing it properly (not taking the pills on time). Similarly, while abstinence obviously reaches 0 pregnancies/year/100 women in laboratory conditions, in the field there are consistently a large number of pregnancies among couples using abstinence as their primary method of birth control over a year. That is not because abstinence is not 100% effective, but because people are not practicing it correctly.

Obviously, your entire argument is about definitions, but this is the definition the scientific community uses. Just semantics

>>18269303
Scary idea, but actually might be the best in this thread. I wonder if I can actually make it through a couple of weeks without having sex. Thanks!
>>18269305
I am pretty fit. I don't do enough cardio lately, I don't think that's the problem though...

>>18269309
Cardio helps to get the blood going.

ED is way more common than you think, just watch amateur porn and you'll see the guys are almost never fully erect.

L-arginine really helps, maca root is great too, but you cant beat proper physical exercise.

>>18269309
>>18269316
Oh and don't listen to the other idiots, quitting sex is stupid, a healthy normal man should be able to maintain an erection even if he has sex to completion 2-3 times a day, or more. Abstaining will just frustrate you and make you cum very quickly.

You can also try staying in missionary position, its the best for maintaining hardness, if you're thrusting away and not getting much stimulation back because of a bad position, you will lose your erection because now you're basically just doing cardio on a bed.

>>18269294
>By your logic, the whole percentage of effectiveness for every birth control is now under suspicion because the effectiveness is reliant on whether you're intentionally practicing birth control at all.
Where the fuck did you think all those numbers come from? A condom is a physical fucking barrier between sperm and woman. Assuming it's not defective, it doesn't break, and it's not used incorrectly, there is no way it could ever possibly not work. And yet there's still a 22% chance of unwanted pregnancy per year while using condoms as your primary contraceptive.

So sure, abstain all you want. But keep a condom with you anyway, because you're not going to turn down a 10/10 when she's pressing against you and begging you to fuck her. No one has limits that high, and most people have them far lower.

>>18269318
Yes, a healthy dude, not someone who killed his dick with deathgripping.
The problem here is his heath grip, of course he needs to reset his sensitivity level.

>>18269219
FWIW, people generally overstate the risk from precum. There's a reason you produce tens of millions of sperm per ejaculation - the chance of any one reaching the egg is vanishingly small. Men who produce millions of sperm can still be functionally infertile. Usually, not always but usually, whatever sperm are present in precum are not enough to present a realistic risk of pregnancy.

Obviously it does happen sometimes or the withdrawal method would have a 0% perfect use failure rate. It is also worth noting, though, that some of those failures may not have actually been from couples practicing the method with perfect use, despite reporting that they did - it is not like the couples in these studies/surveys were actually being monitored every time they had sex.

>>18269316
>>18269318
Sex is healthy, but I think abstaining for a while is probably the only way to heal the death grip. Will try to do more cardio regardless, since I generally need to get back to it