Anyone else had to live a specific time of their lives in a limbo/purgatory

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OP picture is sarcastic, by the way.

I miss my life with her so dearly.

I'm 32 and in the same situation, only I'm finishing my bachelor's degree in Comp Sci. and eventually planning on an MBA after that. And I don't feel ashamed at all because I know so many people in similar situations or worse at the same age. You need to get some perspective on how people are really doing out there in the real world if you feel like a failure for living at home at 30 while finishing your law degree.

We look at other people's social media (or worse, characters on TV) and think "Oh, this guy is making 500k a year with his own business at 30. That's what I'm supposed to be doing" without realizing that's just where they are right now and they were either born on third base and think they scored a triple or they were dead broke three years ago and got a break when they needed it. And maybe your big break will come soon as well.

To give you more perspective, most Americans are not college graduates. They work menial jobs at WalMart now that their factory jobs have been automatized, and aren't thinking about finishing a law degree; they're hoping they have enough food stamps to last them to the end of the month. I grew up on welfare and we got $100 a month in food stamps to feed a family of four. Before that we were homeless. And I count myself lucky to have been born in America. Most people on this planet live on $2 a day. It's unreal.

I was heartbroken after the "love of my life" not only broke up with me but married a friend of mine. Then she ran off with his best friend, divorced him and sued for child support payments. Bullet dodged.

TL;DR: You're not a loser. Stop feeling like one. The world feels like it's ending after a big break up but it isn't. And there's something quite liberating about a "world" ending without you ending with it. No one wants to live at home in their early 30s but quite frankly, I've lived "on my own" (in shitty apartments with asshole roommates) and I much prefer it with family.

>>18267820
Thanks for the perspective.

It's good not to feel alone, but it's just hard nonetheless.

We'll make it eventually, bro.... eventually.

I feel just the same OP

I'm 30 in october. Graduated at the "right" age, worked a good but unfullfilling engineering job for a truck brand until I got fired, both because my anxiety and unhappiness messed with my performance and because of a financial crisis in my country.

I started a 3d printing business with a friend full of promises but zero knowledge on the matter who did absolutely nothing but complain on what I was doing and inject money. I'm in debt with the bank, and now he wants to quit to start his own 3d printing thing with his gf. So not only I'm fucking tired of doing everything by myself, I still have to work to pay a debt that will feed a competitor. Lucky me they're both assholes and are probably not going anywhere with it.

I also don't have a place of my own (actually, with my gf and her father), but at least I look at my friends and see that none of them have it too, because my country is a sinkhole.

So yeah, I feel like I'm like a car doing a burnout, a lot of smoke, noise and work being done and not moving at all, which will eventually pop a tyre from overheating.

I totally agree with >>18267820 though, that and my beautiful gf are what hold me toghether, but still it doesn't make our lives any easier...

>>18267756
Hey! Same here

>29 years old
>back with parents
>15k in debt
>no job

I'm finding success in creating new habits. It takes a while but becoming more disciplined and forming new habits are my life right now. I'm struggling to accept that quick fixes don't really exist. The more I've accepted that quick fixes don't exist, the more I invest in my long term future, the more I set my mind to doing things. If feeling better tomorrow is too much then try to feel better by the end of the week, or the month. Set realistic achievable goals. Aiming for perfection isn't healthy.

Bullet Journaling (especially the habit chart thing) has really helped me. /r/getdisciplined is beneficial too

>I hate it with my (kind and loving) parents. I feel so so so ashamed for my current predicament.
I feel that too. Helping my parents out around the house has helped me feel less worthless and dependent on them. Do things they need done, fix other things without being asked. Accomplishing even small things will help.

You'll get over her soon. You'll grow as a person and realize she was shit for you. I went through that all last year. She was my first love, lost my virginity to her, thought she was "the one." Lot's of pain and depression later, I realized she was crazy and emotionally abused me. I no longer think about her. After I accepted myself for who I was and stopped putting pressure on needing to have a girlfriend I ended up meeting someone amazing.

The key to getting over your ex is that anytime your brain thinks about her, repeat this to yourself, "I no longer think about her," and soon it will be true.

>>18268014
>realize she was shit for you

I have no such faith.

> "I no longer think about her,"

I've been wishing it, that's for sure. But I'll try.

>>18267942
Which country are you in?

Yo, I hear you loud and clear. I've been going through the motions; hanging in limbo; ect. I still live with my parents, and I'm anxious to move out despite persisting mental health issues. My self esteem's at an all time low. I've found that embracing spontaneity; letting yourself be you; actually helps motivation. For me it's giving in to delirium and staying up all night. (You'd be shocked on what gets done.) Break out of routine in order to distract yourself from the pain. Find a focus point to hold on to when you need comfort. Think back to what made you happy before she entered your life. The best thing I can suggest is to allow yourself kindness, focus on your future, and let time heal. It will. It's just fucking slow.

>>18268281
I was involved with a woman for about 9 months, and when it ended I still thought about her, and the truth is I still do but it doesn't hurt anymore. Took about 2 months for me to get to the point where I didn't feel like I'd been pushed off a cliff whenever she popped into my head. Focusing on myself and my own goals was helpful.

>>18267756
Living in it right now. I'm doing my best to get out of it lately, though - I've found a couple of possible opportunities lately, though the one that's currently most likely to pan out would involve an enormous lifestyle change so I'm a little apprehensive about it.

The best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time. There are going to be moments where you just hate yourself and your situation, and everything is going to feel pointless. But trust me on this - you have to power through it. It sounds like you've got a solid plan for the future, so pour your energy into making it happen, because every little bit you put in now goes into netting better results later. Also, consider finding someone you can talk to, whether it's with your parents or a friend. That interim period between now and change gets a lot more bearable if you have emotional support.

>>18267756
I was in a similar situation some years ago, I dealt with it by being humble about my situation but also used it as a vacation of sorts and tried to enjoy activities that required no money.

I'm 30 in two weeks, no career, no job, no savings, came back to parental home, recently diagnosed with a congenital disease that is deforming my bones, my loved one cheats on me. I wish I was you. Cheer up OP, everything will be better, it may seem eternity but once you're better it'll seem like nothing :)

>>18269211
>Also, consider finding someone you can talk to, whether it's with your parents or a friend. That interim period between now and change gets a lot more bearable if you have emotional support.

I'm really trying.

When I broke up with my fiancee, I made a post about it on leddit. A girl contacted me who was going through the same thing and we PM'ed for three weeks or so. It really really helped to vent to someone who understood. Since yesterday she got back together with her ex and man, suddenly I feel all alone and drowning again.

Meeting up with a friend this sunday for beer, but... it's not the same.

Not sure where to find someone again. Shit's hard on your own, you're right about that.

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>>18269246
I'm sorry to hear that, brother.

It's all so fucking unfair, isn't it? What have we done to deserve all of this? I just don't understand.

I hope it gets better for the both of us.

>>18269274
Have you tried Meetup? There are a lot of different groups that advertise on there, so you might be able to find something that interests you and make connections with the people involved.

>>18269300
I'm not a burger, so it's not a platform that's used much, if at all, here. I think.

Not sure if I'm up for meeting strangers either. I just want to vent and get my thoughts sorted...

I'll check it out, though. Thanks.

>>18269313
Sorry, anon, I wish I could be more helpful. Worst case you could always see a psychologist, or even student counseling if your school offers it.

>>18269321
>or even student counseling if your school offers it.

Yeah, I'm going to do this. Great idea.