As my wedding date grows closer and my fiance is about to move

>>18267251
Ask her to get a job to help ease your financial burdens. If you're well off with just you working tell her you want to start saving a nest egg for your kids and it would help if she was working for at least a few years until it gets to a decent size.

>>18267260
We're both very well off financially. I've got a 350k plus I make about 100k a year and that will grow.. She was medically retired so she gets a free 30k a year anyway.

I'm worried about her character. It's easy to slip into becoming a lazy shitbag. I'm not sure I want a "dependent".

Am I being too picky? She is a woman...

>>18267269
Looks like you're gonna have to pull your own weight on this then.

You have to take her to exercise classes like kickboxing, crossfit etc on your own time to try to get her hooked on something. Use the guise of wanting to try new things together. You could also tell her you want to go on a health kick and do your best to find the best tasting /health conscious meals and hope she gets into it as well.

>>18267269
I'd say expect the house to be sparkling clean then (before anyone jumps on me, I am a female. I'm not a sexist man trying to keep you down or whatever) But if she's saying she's gonna do all that stuff I'd hold her to a high standard

Ain't got no job? That kitchen better be so clean you can eat off the floor. Make her a yoga or exercise place, then, when you see her using it, tell her how fucking foxy she looks in her work out clothes. If you see her actually working out, make sure to comment later at dinner at how she can make such good food (which she should do if she has no damn job) and stay so in shape. It'll make her feel good and encourage her to work out, and you may not have to worry so much about what'll become of her.

>>18267269
yes.

>>18267282
Also fantastic advice.

>>18267282
Am i wrong to impose these ideas on her? She wanted to get a job but she's having issues getting one.

I'm scared that we get married and she just gives up on life.

She would be an excellent full time mom, and id be happy for her to do that, but I'm not 100% on her desire for children (for herself, not because I want them) and I want a year after we get married to ourselves to just enjoy couple things that we won't get to enjoy if we immediately shit kids.

Are these fears misplaced?

>>18267295
Are you a woman?

>>18267309
>I'm scared that we get married and she just gives up on life.

Being a stay at home housewife is a kind of life. One that many women (and even some men) have expressed as being a rewarding fulfilling experience. You have to remember that just because it's not the lifestyle you personally would choose doesn't automatically invalidate it.

Although, I do agree with you that it is important that she stay active for the sake of her health. She really should with some amount of regularity get out and get active for some kind of job or hobby or exercise or socialization. You can make suggestions and try to nudge her into things but whatever it is should ultimately be her choice.

>>18267394
Ok I'm good with it now, I guess I'm just not seeing things outside my own perspective.

Thanks everyone for all the great advices

the best you can do is voice your fears. if she has a meltdown, then that probably says a lot about what married life is going to be like.

remind her that if she sleeps in, that means shes going to stay up late too. without any schedule shes not going to just magically sleep in the right amount but go to bed when you do.

does she really want to be on an opposite schedule from you?

back in the day this was less of an inssue because the woman pretty much HAD to go to bed with the man, and late night TV was shit.,

but theres so many way sto entertain your self into 3 am these days.