I have no real friends and have read numerous books on social

>>18267065
>Is this really what friendship is all about?

No, you got shafted by God.

>One technique that was repeated over and over again in these books was to focus all your effort on asking people about themselves, then listen intently, then ask questions about their response. And repeat. Over and over again.

I don't know, people eventually figure out that there is no back and forth going on.

This is a tip for when you are first establishing a connection. It helps people like you and feel at ease with you - everyone loves someone who takes a sincere interest in them, regardless of whether they find you personally attractive or interesting at the first glance. Obviously if someone never reciprocates your efforts then there is no point in wanting much to do with them to begin with. But ideally you reserve the final judgment on whether you want to date or be friends with this person, not them.

>treated as an emotional sponge
It is possible to get caught up in a servant type of role. Happened to me as well when I had that age. People are essentially still like kids in a way - they push your boundaries, but in the end of the day they prefer people who are pleasant to them AND respect themselves enough to be a doormat. If you propose yourself as their punching bag vs emotional tampon vs ever-smiling sidekick, they will never take you seriously as a person.
But this is not a pattern that is established within a few conversations or with a couple of mannerisms. If you are friendly and show a lot of interest, but also talk about yourself, tell them no or that you disagree whenever relevant, they aren't going to see you as "beta".

Also an astounding number of people don't know how to ask questions or don't care to. I don't befriend these people and if I can't avoid being around them (eg as colleagues), I will ask them about themselves and when I feel the need to say something I just bombard them with it without their nudging. Readjust my expectations and be extra grateful for my friends.

>>18267086
>AND respect themselves enough to be a doormat
I meant to -not- be a doormat, obviously.

Also fucked up the last sentence of the first part, I meant to say: ideal scenario is that as many people as possible enjoy being around you, and then you get to pick who you actually like to be around. Which means trying to please everyone at first and then figuring out who actually puts in effort themselves, who takes an interest in you in turn.

>>18267065

>Is this nice guy/beta behavior?

No. In this context asking people about themselves is an affirmative choice, which by definition cannot be "beta" (leaving aside that is a silly term that vastly oversimplifies why some people get what they want and others don't).

>Is this really what friendship is about?

No. Most of those tips are about when you first meet people. They are not supposed to be blueprints for every conversation with every person ever.

>>18267120
>>18267082

Also, this guy might be on to something. If most of what you did was ask questions, then people probably never had any notion of what you were like other than as a guy who liked to hear about their lives.

>>18267065
>emotional sponge

You know, I could never quite tell the difference between "banter" and straight up insults.

>>18267132
there is no difference, sociopaths just want an excuse to belittle people without being called out for it. they claim it's to "toughen you up" which is a classic psychopath go-to whenever they're called out on anything shitty they've done in life.

>>18267132
A big part of it is the rest of how people respond. Do they knock it off when you stop smiling/laughing, or amp it up? Do they target others as well or are you the go-to subject? How do they respond if you make similar jabs?
Are they going for real weak spots or more making fun of light-hearted stuff like peculiar habits of yours?

Having said that, there's a point where rough male banter enters a grey zone with bullying and it doesn't really matter what it technically is or isn't at that point for you to not accept it.

>>18267065
Sounds like the next book you need to read is about Charisma son. Asking people about their shit constantly is great advice but only if you don't come off as a bitch.

You need to come off as a confident and well established person so that the fact that you are listening to them with great detail has some worth to the person to whom you are providing the service. IF you seem like someone who would listen to anyone just for the attention, then obviously it will mean a lot less to them and might even spill over into negative.

>>18267143
>How do they respond if you make similar jabs?

It would just roll off their back, so I was kind of at a loss at what to say.

>Do they target others as well or are you the go-to subject?

I wasn't the go-to subject, but one dude always, always, pipped up at that moment in the same way Merchant would gang up on Pilkington with Ricky Gervias but was cool otherwise.

This was quite a while back, I don't really hang around with people anymore.

>>18267065
Nice Guys don't do this. They talk more than they listen because their goal is to impress, not befriend. It's a mating display, and it doesn't work because they aren't flaunting any kind of real status. It's like going to a club and shaking a wad of Monopoly money. You can still have fun and be high-status without money, but faking it is what really makes you into a cucklord faggot.

Being a beta male isn't actually a terrible thing. I've worked in places where everyone wants to be the alpha and it fucking sucked. Being able to enjoy inclusion without fighting over status is something everyone should be able to do.

>>18267065
I feel like if you've reached a certain age, somewhere in your late 20s, and you're not already in a social circle by then, you're kinda fucked. You'll always be this peripheral friend.

>>18267065
Being a good listener is one thing but also being a good and entertaining story teller is another.

There are two types of interesting people.

Those who do interesting things.

Those who think of interesting things.

People who do interesting things are commonly either the annoying blowhards who don't know how to tell a story that everyone hates or they are the people who got into a swordfight drunk once and ended up in the er that everybody loves.

People who think of funny or interesting things are writers and comedians and they are commonly fun to hang out with because they actually know how to tell a story or idea in a funny way.

>>18267132

There is no difference except the intentions of the speaker.

>>18267629
Really? I've always gotten the opposite impression.

People who think interesting things are usually fairly introverted in my experience. They spend a lot of time in their head, don't always have a lot of friends, and as such, don't have a lot of experience talking to people/conveying their ideas.

People who do interesting things, on the other hand, usually seem really extroverted. I mean, most people don't hike the Himalayas all by their lonesome. They're always doing things with other people, and as such get lots of practice talking to other people, and learning how to tell interesting stories.

>>18267653
You can say anything really.

I walk up to girls and tell them something like we should grow dreadlocks and start a rap metal band. And if that doesn't work we'll go to the bank and rob it with slingshots. It's fool proof because we can plead insanity if it doesn't work because we're white people with dreadlocks attempting to rob a bank with slingshots.

Then I'll go on to talk anout how the Fast and the Furious series is actually high-satire in disguise as a brodude summer flick or some other theory like how high school sports are used to indoctrinate youth into a nationalistic ideology.

>>18267065
Honestly OP, all you can do now is constantly have your mind CONSTANTLY preoccupied by something.

Sleep is also probably the only other time you'll find any peace from the loneliness.