I've got a piss test on the 5th of May, last time I smoked

How much do you weigh and how tall are you?

I am on felony probation and have to take completely random drops, i can probably give you some ...idk insight?

>>18265460
Depends on a lot of things, body fat, metabolism, etc. Walgreens has piss tests for 10 bucks you can use at home, I had clean piss after a week (don't know if it was sooner but I took it for the first time a week after quitting and came out clean. Background: used to smoke a bowl or two a day for 6 months, drink at least 3 L of water a day, 10% BF.

>>18265460

6 spliffs a day regardless is a fucking massive amount of weed, and for 2 weeks straight your body must have THC stored in your fat that will get burned off just from getting up to take a piss. Last time I had to take a drug test I'd smoked a little bit of weed every day for about 2 months, and 2.5 weeks after I stopped smoking for my test i was barely passing a piss test. I drank a fuck ton of water and ate like a piece of shit so there'd be new fat built up that would get burned instead of my fat that would release THC into my system.

File: 9fc7719f-cc19-4b87-aead-50bc7b7f2cb3..jpg (117KB, 700x691px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 700x691px

Drink as much as you can.
Try Milk, or Water.
Fuck the Politics and Start engaging for legalization.

>>18265906
This works. Dilute urine with water and make sure you eat a lot so your body does not break down fat. Even eat before sleeping dude. Youll be fine. I used to do this for a medical test three times with success

File: reagan.jpg (20KB, 474x305px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 474x305px

>>18265460
> 6 spliff's a day
Goddamn. No wonder you are being tested. You must have been high as fuck at work.

Sorry, but there is nothing on Earth that will save your THC-soaked piss. Any drug test is going to light up like Times Square. In fact, you could probably roll up the test strip and get high off of that.

Your only chance is if you get a test tube with a cork and fill it with clean urine. Most drug tests have a body temperature reader, so tie a string around it and shove it up your ass for 24 hours. That will make the clean pee body temperature.

Best of luck.

>>18265460
Detox do not work. You need at least 3-4 weeks to pass a urine test. Your best option is smuggling in pee.

>have a clean friend pee for you, pay them if necessary
>order an empty IV container off amazon.
>place pee into bag.
>secure to thigh with tape and/or rubber bands.
>in bathroom gently tear open nozzle so pee flows into cup.
>your body temperature will have kept it warm so no need to worry about temperature.
>seal cup, pee in toilet in case anyones listening.
>fold up IV bag and place in pocket.
>turn it in

I've done this about 4 times. Works fine. The only time it wouldn't work is with Parole stuff where they stand next to you at a urinal.

>>18267275
You're also gonna want to bring a thermometer and make sure your pee is in the acceptable temp range.

If its not you could try bringing a small copper rod and a lighter with you, heating the rod slightly and stirring the pee while consitently measuring temp. This might be sus to an employer though so make sure you're in a private bathroom. If anyone asks what's taking so long say you'd rather not discuss your medical issues.

>>18265460
You can dilute by drinking tons of water. Also take vitamin B on the day of the test for color. Be sure to to use a pharmacy test before the real one to be sure.

Otherwise you can use someone else's. Put it in a pill bottled keep it in your waist so it will be the right temp.

Don't listen to this dilution bullshit. You will have to take the test again anyways if your sample is diluted.. Buy fake piss from a head shop.

>>18267300
Put boiling water in a stainless steal mug then store the piss in there till u get to the parking lot, put the bottle or pouch of piss between your thighs and wear two pairs of breifs or tighty whities to keep it tight and stored. Sit down slowly when there and voila doggo