Rate this apology email I'm sending to an ex girlfriend

Just start again

>>18261974
>"Hallo,
Cringe

>I'm squeezing into your inbox one-time to apologize for blowing up, if I may. I've sent you various premature bullshit apologies before, but unlike everything that was sent prior to this email, this apology is without any motive or selfish hopes, for the first time:
Cringe, beta

>Simply put, last week I met someone at the airport. Our silly & fun memories popped up, which were then stomped out by memories of my post-breakup actions....Which is what's been happening since November; fucking soul crushing considering almost all our memories were precious, really.
Cringe, pretentious

>Rather than go over everything that I fucked up on from Aug-Nov, I'll say that from recently experiencing a similar post-break up clinging in reversed shoes with a woman...Her little bit of clinging I experienced was off putting enough...I don't think I have enough manhood hair to handle everything that was thrown your way from me, I really don't think I do lol.
The fuck... Beta as fuck.

>We all walk through a desert to get to our oasis. After the split, rather than focusing on how to get to my own oasis, I repeatedly offered you some water without having any real water to offer: a mirage in that desert that stunted us both.
Rambling, embarrassing

>what I'm trying to say is, I'd love to meet up at say, Skyline Tavern to offer you some water ("water") to resolve the bullshit I caused.
Pathetic

>To wrap it up, the idea of us not being friends considering the experiences we had together is just disgusting. On the level of "Oh-that's-SICK" updating from Windows 8 kind of disgusting. GROSS.
Cringe

>Like two friends getting back together after a regrettable misunderstanding fallout, I'd love to meet up to update each other. SO much to update, like holy shit. If you wanna, anyway.
Cringe, beta

>I really did enjoy helping you write a page in your life story, but I'd moreso enoy helping edit & rewrite how that page ended,
Cringe

>please."
Beta

1/10

>>18261986
>>18261998

I'm just wanting us to be on good terms again st the very least. Yeah, I'd prefer her over a new chick of course as I've already established a connection, but still.


And yeah I'm definitely over her, in that I've been with an array of women since our breakup last November. Done obscene things with them that I'm not proud of, etc.

But anyway, I'm just trying to not cut her out of my life is all. Why do people do that? It's so juvenile

OP I was in a shit mood but reading this lifted my spirits and gave me a good laugh. Thanks

>>18262052
Please don't send it. She will show it to the guy she's fucking now for a good laugh

Leave her alone. Nothing good is going to come of this for you or her.

>>18262066
>>18262084

Why is it bad to not cut people out of your life? It's not like bad energy or anything

And I've probably fucked more girls than she had guys since then

OP pls dude. I simple "Hey I'm sorry that shit I did" is good enough. When you try to fluff up your apology it sounds insincere, like you're trying to justify what you did. Ruins the point of an apology.

>>18261974

>Rate this apology email I'm sending to an ex girlfriend

Literally the worst idea ever. Top tier cringey.

>Need red pilled advice

What is wrong with you.