I'm a fucking moron and need to stop taking advice from

Women are stupid but men are fukin idiots

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>>18259973
>i decide to go against my instinct and instead of give her space, I give her ultimatum
> ultimately she wants to continue seeing me
>i act on her words and come over
> we hang out and have an intimate time getting to know each other
> my horny insecure ass wants to make moves
> my logical side says just go home and make sure she knows you support her
> decide to just be restless all night in her bed because I can't decide what to do
> next morning we kiss goodbye, bid each other a good day
> part of me is relieved she isn't friend zoning me
> part of me upset I kept her up all night just spooning the shit out of her
> send text saying sorry
> we haven't said a word

God damn it I fucked up big time. I wish I would stop listening to my fuccboi friends and do what I feel I need to do

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>>18259983
Literally ended our conversation here.

In real life I'm awesome to hang out with. But alone I'm pessimistic as shit and think nobody likes me and wants anything to do with me

All in all I wish I didn't fuck things up with this girl because she's cool as hell. We both have a lot in common (humor, childhood, religious views, family) but I'm like, I have no dating experience compared to her.

I wish I wasn't insecure and listened to people whose motives are that sex wins women and that it's the end all be all

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>>18259989
I love my friend and all and I understand he wants to get me laid but god damn it I was in conflict

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>>18259994

>>18259981
Humans are fucking idiots.

Also disclaimer. I may be socially awkward, but I used to work at a bar and hook up with bar sluts.

Sex is easy to find. But my problem is I'm saturated with people in my life who say sex is THAT important when you're trying to get to know someone and actually have a relationship that isn't fuccboi based. What can I do to improve my mindset and confidence senpai?

>>18259973
Do you expect us to read 7 posts without a tldr

Well OP, you seem like a decently intelligent guy. Pretty much all you had to do to salvage the situation was to be honest with her. It shows you are mature, it shows you trust her, and it prevents unnecessarily complicated situations.

As to improving your mindset, why not stop having sex and dating for a while. You will be able to order your thoughts and understand more what you want from life.

>>18259999
Quads confirm

>>18260031
Tl;dr I got aggressive with a cool chick who just needed space

>>18260035
You might be right. She said she needed time to process shit. Might be good for both of us to do so

You did the right thing when it comes to not fucking her, but you did it in the worst way possible. You shouldn't have made the decision in her own fucking bed.

If it was meant to be, then you also needed to listen to yourself and that meant you should've given her space.

Seems like you've lost her now.

>>18260073
Yeah. I might of pushed her over the edge being pushy and coming over. Should not of listened to the wrong advice.

Guess there's nothing I can do now huh? I let my fear of that car accident letting her forget me become a self fulfilling prophecy

There really isn't anything I can do to redeem myself huh anons?

Should i...
> give her space
> check in on her every now and then and just be sweet,"hope you're doing well"type of texts, leaving it there.

And see if she comes back?

I'm tempted to send a text explaining I wanted to give her space but hit shit advice to come over. But even then I think that might be a terrible idea

>>18260468
> hey sorry I was all up in your ass the other day when I realize you just needed some time to heal. I'm here if you need anything
Idk guys help me out.

Hey

Hey OP

Try this little trick

Just stop contacting her!

Watch how fast she messages you back.

OP I don't get it, is she not replying to you anymore or something? Seems like nothing's really ruined?

>>18260604
It's not that, but when you're seeing someone new you don't wanna come across as needy or weird. And I feel like I came across as all that plus insensitive. She might reply to me, I haven't tried yet. Seems she is kinda stressed and needs space

man are you overthinking things...
she likes you. you can tell by reading her texts.
keep making plans to see her. progress with her by still trying to be intimate. like pretend she never got in a car accident and she never told you she needed space. because if she really wanted space, she wouldve said so then ghosted you.
you need to keep being confident and assertive like you were on your first date.

>>18260617
oh yea and she hasnt replied back because you ended your text without a question

>>18260710
Haha I needed to hear this. Thx anon

Aaaw Op, it's so cute when guys fuzz all about a girl. I don't think you were pushy, but you made more confident answers which I think led her to respect you more. I think you did everything right, you just need to find a middle ground.

I don't understand what you're worried about. She asked you if you were free that night - how was that needy of you?

Just don't do the latter part of >>18260463
Stop with the "worried, but caring boyfriend" vibe, and just be fun and exciting for her. Tell her she should come and join you in an activity where you can have a pleasant time together, (and possibly end up naked at the end of if,) and stop being so defeatist.

>>18260785
Yeah she's not my gf yet so idk why I need to be so involved. Even my instincts when she got in the car accident I was like, "wellll shit.... We're only two dates in and this is pretty involved of me". On the other hand though, she seemed wishy washy about continuing to see me so that's why I was butt hurt
Idk I've fucked up a lot in the past and I try to be perfectionist when it comes to dating girls.

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>>18259973

This has to be the most beta cucked shit ive seen so far.

>>18260808
My friend's writing style... Not mine.

>>18260808
He used to be an escort so I trusted his words for some reason

>>18260798
Just try and fuck up a little less.

You're hung up on her saying "need space/time," yet you fail to see how she wants you. Her confliction isn't a reflection on the potential she sees in you, it's a reaction to you not coming across as certain about your intentions, as she need you to be in order to jump into a romance. Just be a good man in any way, shape and form you know, and show her a good time. Your worrying is in itself what's going to kill this opportunity.

>>18260817
In other words, pay attention to her behavior and take action? You're right I'm hung the hell up on that. Even bothered me when I was in the gym, and took me hours to reply.

So... How do I stop over thinking? Is there an exercise?

Example: idk if I should add her on fb yet. We've gotten to know each other well for only being on two dates

>>18260887
The only thing gained by adding her on fb, would be so you can obsess over all the pictures she's tagged in. wait until you've banged her and had postcoital breakfast together, at least.

Don't worry too much about her behaviour, focus more on your own, and see if you can figure out what to say and do that'll be an affirmation of your intended outcome. You want her to feel good about spending time with you - make sure you're pleasant to spend time with. People who worry aren't very much fun. I'm sure you know what you do right, since this chick seem to be into you - so just do more of that

Y'know if Trump was beating himself for every perceived fuck up, he wouldn't be pouts right now. Food for thought

>>18260927
Potus. Fucking auto correct

>>18259973
jesus christ that text is the worst thing ive ever seen. just sickening

>>18261007
I cringed when I my friend sent that. Fuck. But obviously she's not completely turned off yet

>>18260927
True story

>>18260919
Thanks anon time to focus

>>18260561
This pretty much is the best thing to do.

If she doesnt talk to you after that. She can fuck off honestly.

>>18260887
Be in control of your thoughts. Be active about it.
I wrote this before, more related to depression.
When you start spiraling thinking about all that stuff, you have to tell yourself "No, I am not going to think about this. This is not helping me. I will instead focus on (insert whatever)."
If it helps more, say it out loud to yourself. "No, I am going to do something else now."

Just tell yourself no, don't beat yourself up about it. You're used to thinking in certain patterns and getting more anxious. You need to break the habit by repeatedly telling yourself not to and being conscious of it.

>>18261023
send a dic pik

>>18261081
This sounds like sound advice I'll take it