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How have you guys dealt with on-coming thoughts of suicide, of which are reasonably frequent?
I'm considering going back on anti-depressant/anxiety medication, as I also have pretty rough social anxiety problems, but I've learned to cope with it pretty well. I remember feeling uncomfortable with how 'calm' I was around people on my first med years ago, it was like I could finally breathe and not give a shit about anyone around me. Honestly haven't ever felt that 'okay' before, around people -- even as a small child I don't remember it.
In any case, my emotions have been so unstable concerning death, to the point where I think if I was set off enough, emotionally, I'd just finally do it somehow, or hurt myself bad, and I don't think it'll require that much, either. I say that, mostly because of the fact that, if my parents wouldn't be so destroyed from me randomly offing myself one day, I'd of very likely done it by now, without some event to trigger it. I'm in a constant battle of why or why I shouldn't do it, almost purely because of how my parents would feel.
I'm lonely, without love, unmotivated, barely hang out with the few friends that I have, and work a minimum-wage, night-shift job where all my co-workers are assholes 24/7, even if jokingly.
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>>18257759
You poor soul.
Gf?
>>18250471
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>>18257759
What are you a faggot?
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>>18257759
Definitely try medication again. Which ones worked for you?
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same. i went to psychologist and that helped. I would personally say to lay off the meds (unless it's a hormonal imbalance) and make a list of what is wrong and find a psychologist to talk to about it. aim for a 1st line psychologist
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Antidepressants are a bit of a bitch to get right. They can take long periods of time(about a month in my case) before you start noticing if it is even doing any good. On top of that you might get prescribed a certain type or dosage that just doesn't agree with you, making the process drag out even longer. If you have clinical depression I highly recomend going through with finding the correct meds for you. When I get bad bouts of depression I often become extremely apathetic and stop taking my pills, which results in worse depression thanks to the chemical shitshow going on in the brain when you stop abruptly. I pretty much think of suicide nonstop when this happens, and like you I feel like the only thing stopping me is the fact that it would tear apart the people that care. Honestly, the only way out of those slumps for me is to just suck it up for a few days while trying to get back on my meds. The usual things that cheer me up are worth jack shit when im like that. I don't know if you have a pet, but spending time with something completely reliant on you can sort of help as a temporary boost to put things back in perspective. My dog is about the only thing besides the pills that help in that situation, and even then it's not a dramatic help. So if you are regularly feeling like this please see a doctor. If you don't get along with your doctor, try and find another who you can talk to about the possibility of medication. Initially I saw a therapist and tried to go the non-medicated route, that just ended with my therapist telling me that I probably need antidepressants and will likely continue to need them for the rest of my life. That kind of fucking sucks but thats life, you get used to them and they can really help.
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>>18257759
What meds were you on?
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