I can't look myself in the mirror the short version of

>>18256144
We don't get to pick our parents, unfortunately. We only try and deal with the hand life gives us. If you get dealt a shitty hand, remember to not blame the game.

yeah i got something similar

i had a stepdad who used to rape my mom. as i got older i could fight him off some, but then i was getting my ass beat

when i was a kid i was pretty social and happy. i always wanted to go out and talk to people. but then my mom, who was left by my real father, decided we were going to move in with my stepdad

he would just work and come home and drink on the couch and pass out. he wouldn't talk to anyone. he was always mad

growing up i'm starting to become more and more avoidant. all i want to do is work and come home and drink and pass out

i'm starting to practice meditation and trying to let go of all the anger i have inside. it's hard though. i'm like always mad or upset. i made some good progress in the past year though. i'm not as angry as i once was, still angry sometimes but not as much

try meditating. do some light exercise and stretch. the sooner you try and let go of what happened the better. i think

Maybe you can take the fact that you look like him not as some kind of curse, but as a positive reminder to never act like him. The fact that you worry about being a bad father means you're much better than he was. No matter what you look like.

>>18256144
Sounds like a serious trauma without an easy answer. Seeking out a therapist might be good idea.

Outside of that exposure therapy is a common way to deal with fears. You'd probably benefit confronting your aversion to you're image and looking in a mirror or at a photo for as long as you can, and acknowledge that you're not your father. You need to confront you're fear of looking at yourself.

And definitely don't let the abuse stop you from having a family. My grandfather was abused so bad he joined the army, at 16 to get away from it, and he was a great father.

>>18256144
have MMA classes with your dad and beat the shit out of him

>>18256144
Join some combat sport on recreational base,like boxing or wrestling,go to church.Build your confidence and move on.You are not your father,be a good person and learn to do best with your life with what you got.