I have never met my dad, what advice would you give me? How has

>>18251951
>how has this screwed me
You've grown up without vastly important mental and emotional support that one's father is supposed to provide in their youth.

>what advice would you give me
Meet him only if he seems very willing to meet you. However, the fact that he was absent for your entire childhood may mean that it is too late to salvage a proper relationship, especially if you're not underaged.

>>18251951
it means you're just as broken as the rest of us who had shitty fathers who put no effort into raising us. Try finding a respectable male role model to learn from?

know that you are a cohesive person. you made it this far and are now self aware enough to become the man you wish to be without some biologically related person telling you what to do.

my father was largely absent and i didnt get a strong mentor figure until i actually landed my recent job and my boss kinda took me under his wing. its been great.

Fathers , parents in general are all good and bad. Some parents want to see their child and some dont...
I sometimes wish a friend of mine was far far away from his father because his father for some reason hates his very existence....

Some people aren't nessacarily screwed by not knowing their parents, sometimes its better given the type of person they might be now- and by not knowing them you can see them from a nonbias pov and decide if theyre the type of person youre willing to have in your life. Parenting is about love and acceptance but it's unfortunate in todays world that this isn't always the case. It all depends on perception.

I agree that you should go foward and attempt to meet them, but dont just pop in... Do your checks and see if theyre willing. I personally think its never to late given both parties are willing, true youll never know your past with them- but isnt it better to see if there will be a future with them?

>>18251951
Large scale studies have found a missing parent isnt the right correlation to life problems. Its there but it doesnt seem to be the cause:

Its more the education level and income of the parent left to raise you.

>how screwed am I?

Depends how educated and rich your ma was. Bonus if there was a step father or other adult figure around offering support.

If all things considered your dad bein gone was all that was off, then you statistically shouldnt be too fucked. Other than that shitty feel of no dad.


Then theres also the part during your development your brain is watching your parents' relationship habits to form your expectations for future relationships. That could be a problem too if your mom was having less than desirable relationships

>>18251998
You make a good point. I have never really thought about wanting to find or meet my father.
I am more curious about some common drawbacks being fatherless has.

Im a 25 yr old guy

>>18252017
Damn, that last sentence really hit the nail on the head for me I think... How do I try to fix this?

>>18252038
Ill put it this way:

All humans are bias (since thats a popular word these days). The only way to learn and gain true knowledge is to understand and recognize your own bias so you can approach things objectively and ask yourself "is it true because it is or because i want it to be"

You pretty much have to approach relationships this way. Think, really think, when youre in a relationship if it resembles anything abusive, empty, or toxic. Be super objective about it.

Choose your partner based on qualities with which you would choose a friend.

My parents relationship was old school catholic. Theyre still together even now.

It is loveless, but they rushed in because first partner and divorce is a sin and all that. They have nothing in common and they are on intellectually opposite spectrums and they dont agree on a thing.

I had trouble dating for awhile. Chased girls clearly dumber than me (bless my mother's heart, i love her. She is not the smartest human alive though...) and then just like papa, judged them and talked down on them when they were being dumb.

My current gf though, if she was a male, would still be a dear and close friend. Shes also not stupid and knows how to hold her own in a debate.

Weve formed a very real bond.

Thats what i suggest. Approach your relationships with your brain. Not your dick/vagina. Sorry didnt catch your gender.

>>18252057
Thanks alot! This really helped.

I just read up about abandonment issues, and i cleary have them. Now I just need to try to get over it In som way. Im a 25 year old dick.