So I want a partner, but I am scared of giving up my lifestyle

>>18251098
cuntry sauz

>>18251098
Why?
My boyfriend and I are both introverted. We sit at home, he writes and I cook, we play videogames and watch movies together, we watch sports on tv, we read books.
We go out once or twice a week for a beer or dinner, go for a hike, work out, take a trip once every couple of months.

Your lifestyle seems fine. Zero issues.

>>18251098

I think it's normal to be this way. For instance, there's benefits to being single, only having to worry about yourself and others you have already noted. And when you think about having a partner, it's just "a partner," in your head, it's not a real person, just an idea, not someone you know. So think about giving up your singleness comfort for this, imaginary person in your head, is hard. When the person is real however, that is likely someone you would know and care enough about that motivates you to sacrifice a portion of your time. Not as much resistance as you'd think.

The second someone like that comes into your life, you give up some of yourself for them(not meant in a bad way), and so back to it just being an idea, when you're thinking about it for some "ideal gf/bf", someone you don't know, the thought is daunting, because it truly feels like compromising who you are if you think about it like that. But you more than likely wouldn't view it as an unwilling compromise after you actually met a real someone that you cared enough to willingly offer a part of yourself up for. Which at present isn't in front of you so it's hard to view it like that.

idk maybe i just keep reiterating my point

Anyways with all this in mind, it's hard to want to go out and find someone because this someone is an abstract concept. So going and putting yourself out there feels like not worth the tradeoff. Now, you don't have to go out TO find someone, but doing some more social functions for other reasons gives you more opportunities to meet someone. If you eventually meet someone more spontaneously rather than off of a hunt, it feels like it more falls into place instead of feeling pressured/wondering how far to extend yourself.

regardless you never know, you may not need to give up anything really, person you meet might click with you so well that you don't have to. and if it was too much that it was draining then they might not be for you.

>>18251142

I say this because my lifestyle does not enable me to find a partner. For me, it is draw of the luck.

My first long term partner? Met her off a message board about Pokemon. Now that I'm 25? I have to go through official avenues, like OKC, POF or Tinder and so far, none of them worked for me because I just disliked most people I come across or I never get the right responses from people I may actually have an interest in.

I'm pretty much in this "I want my cake and eat it" mindset.

>>18251183
Not OP, but this is the exact reason I'm even browsing this board now. Someone recently came into my life. Though unattainable, she inspired me to change into a better person so I can meet someone else with a similar personality type.

I've felt lonely and wanted a close friend for a long time. But it was only after meeting an actual person who could potentially fill that void that I was motivated enough to change certain aspects of my life.

>>18251142
Sounds like the dream. Have you had any problems both being introverts?

I'm single not because I can't find someone and get in a relationship (that part is easy).

I'm single because getting in a relationship feels like the end of me as an individual. The end of my time, space and ability to do what I want. I don't want to have to deal with someone elses personalty disorders, mood spells, bad habits and insecurities etc.

I have reached a point in my life where I am at peace with myself and solitude helps shield that peace.

I don't feel lonely and can go months without talking to anyone. I have been in relationships before but never one that has positively added to my life. I guess this has helped shape my stance on the matter.