ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Girls, I have read that you have to be direct about your intentions with women if you find them attractive and want to eventually sleep with them.

Is this a good opener to achieve it? Or does it come off as needy?

"Hello, ma'am. I don't mean to interrupt, but I find you to be incredibly beautiful and just wanted to get to know you more. What's your name?"

guys, how do i 'reject' him if we're not really dating? Or... are we dating?

He's my friend's roommate and we started hooking up and cuddling last week. We havent been on any 'dates' but we've spent time with each other besides sex and he always stays the night and cuddles. We havent talked about what we are or anything. i've only seen him 3 times so it's early still.

i like him... but, my ex might be coming back next week and i realized i'm not over my ex. I need to let the new guy go i think

>>18248785
Slut.

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>>18248772

>>18248772
Are you serious? God damn the fucking cringe.

>>18248785
I think it's not like you had a relationship or something, but rather some fuckbuddy thing going on. So I would really just come clear with him and tell him how it is. He probably wouldn't mind.

But besides that, getting back with an Ex is seriously a stupid idea. It's over, girl.

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>>18248772
Jesus fucking Christ

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>>18248791
>>18248799
>>18248803

Yes, yes, I GET IT, I'm a disgusting omega male that does not deserve the female gaze.

I-I-I just heard it's better to be direct than befriending her, waiting for 5 years until her boyfriend dies in a skydiving accident then try to sex her up to make her feel better.

I mean, for fucks sake, it's literally in the book Models, by Mark Manson. He slept with over 100 women.

Give me some better openers then!

>>18248801
Yeah that is true, I think he really likes me more than a fuckbuddy but scared of relationship? so he will be upset probably. but I'm going to have to do it i guess.

Usually I'd say it's a bad idea to get back with an ex but the reason we broke up was because he needed psychiatric help and i had a really bad xanax addiction and wasn't in any right mind at the time. It was years ago. We've talked since and both got the help we needed since

>>18248807
Also, only women can respond to me, not beta males who shit on incels to make themselves feel better.

>>18248807
Step one, might be the hardest for a dense piece of shit like you. But try to acknowledge the fact that only because someone has female genitals it doesn't make them less of a human.
Acknowledge that "sleeping with 100 women" sounds for normal people like an idiot with lots of issues that make it impossible for him to form an actual connection with someone or have a lasting relationship.

Step two, learn to acquire friends.
The rest is easy and comes from itself, because when you have formed a circle of friends you come in contact with female friends, too. And that's how most people get to know their bfs/gfs.

>>18248772
Needs to be more casual. "Hey, you caught my eye and seem like a really cool person. Would you like to go out for drinks some time?"

It's better still if you can just start a conversation with a joke or observation about the situation you're (both) in, but that's some next level shit and it's better to stick to the point if you can't actually pull off natural small talk with strangers.

Realize that every guy coming up to a woman says she's pretty and that it doesn't make an impression. She will realize you find her attractive just by you taking an interest in her.

>>18248821
I literally just acknowledged my extreme inferiority to all womanhood, and now you think I see them as objects? They are literally goddesses.

Anyway, only beta males like you think sleeping with 100 women is objectifying. Women LOVE that shit. Every notch on a man's bedpost is more attraction from women who know he's been "tested" by other women.

Also, I already have a circle of male friends. They're successful with women because they're tall and handsome. I can't even get sloppy seconds.

>>18248807
What in the shit is wrong with you? i'm sorry dude but how thick are you? what is this incel and omega bullshit.

You're not supposed to befriend her and wait 5 years, that is creepy and never works. I'm a women and once you befriend her and establish yourself as a platonic friend that she doesn't see in a sexual light, you making any moves on her after that would feel like her own family member making moves on her. You need to make intentions clear from the get go. Don't try slithering around to get in, we're not stupid and will see what you're doing.
You're supposed to just ask her on a date or at the most get to know her for a few months first before explicitly asking her out.

Just say 'Hey, I think you're cute, can I get your number?'

>>18248821
This is shit advice, suited only for women.
Especially this part
>The rest is easy and comes from itself
It is NEVER like this.
>>18248818
Well good luck on becoming a girl then, motherfucker.

@girls

what does getting dicked feel like? also what does clit flicking feel like because in my experience it does more

>>18248813
Well, ofc I don't know neither you or him but I'm unsure if that's a good idea with your Ex. But you do you. Keep always in mind that you two have your mental bagage to carry and maybe should keep it a bit lowkey in the beginning and not dive into it completely in a head over heels way.

For the other guy, I would meet with him and not do anything romantic at all, maybe a friendly hug as a hello and that's it. And actually say that even though you like him and enjoy his company you don't want to continue this further, because you well, aren't over your Ex yet. Sure, he might be upset but if you're honest with him he won't be mad at you but at the circumstances.

>>18248827
>Women LOVE that shit
I don't think you have any idea of what women love. Based on your posts in this thread, I actually don't believe you even speak to women with any regularity.

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>>18248827
Holy fuck, hang yourself or seek a therapist.

>>18248827
Man, I hate to tell you this and I kind of hope you're trolling at this point.

If not - yeah we like men who are popular with other women, but it's not an end in itself. We like them because the men who are popular with other women are confident, engaging, charismatic, handsome, interesting, successful/rich or any other (combination of) qualities that are attractive.

If a guy doesn't look like much at first sight yet he is popular with girls, then yeah, it'll confirm to random girls that he's not a creep and that perhaps they're just not seeing (yet) what is appealing about him.
But it isn't exactly the more women the better. There's a reason women don't like to hear about exes much more than men do. They like the status that caused the guy to bed a hundred women: they don't exactly like to dwell on the idea that he's scraped the inside of a hundred vaginas clean with the same dick they're sucking.

>>18248834
Thanks. Yeah my whole story sounds like a bad idea but you know, it is what it is, and we've both had time to ourselves to figure it out. I'll take it really slow if anything. A big part of it also was that we were scared of how we made each other feel. I wonder if it will be the same when i see him again but who knows.

yeah I will tell the new guy that. the timing really is not great. but it is what it is

>>18248835
Well, no man knows what women wants, given that women refuse to say what they want.
>>18248836
You slimy fucker.
>>18248839
Ok. Confident, charismatic,engaging, interesting, and (moderately) rich I can do.

I don't think I can sleep with more than a handful of women with my looks, but I can try.

Would you say the best openers are simply stating that you found that particular female attractive, or do you have to indirectly state you find her interesting (by talking about each others careers, hobbies etc.) and then move onto sexual conversation?

I asked this earlier but the thread was basically dead at the time. Girls I've always wondered, when a guy gets done giving you head, does it gross you out at all if he tries to kiss you or do you not care?

>>18248833
Clit flicking is an "easy" orgasm. It's like you're pressing a button. The feeling is rushing and energetic and afterwards you're very relieved and tired. It's what I imagine an orgasm from a dick feels like.

Cumming from the internal vag, is deeper. It's a deep feel and feels pretty "animalistic". Your brain gets shut off, and you love every single thrust. You feel a bit how it gets stretched and that his balls or his pubic bone is rubbing a bit against your clit. It's warm and you fill fulfilled because that feels just so right. Also when the guy grunts and moans and you feel his hands grip on your hip bones as he uses your body as a perfect counterpart for his dick.
Oh god, and if that is combined with his warm fingers opening your clit and gently rubbing it in rhythm with the fucking motion.. That intense, vibrating feeling can make someone turn into a shivering and smiling mess. Holy shit, I need some dick in my life

>>18248852
I don't give a shit. Guys go down on me so rarely that when it does happen I don't get to complain about tasting my own vagoo goo. Beggars can't be choosers

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>>18248836
>>18248827
this
stop projecting your femdom fetish onto the real world

>beta males like you
>I literally just acknowledged my extreme inferiority to all womanhood
KEK

Posted in the last one but didn't get a reply. Girls preferably:

>me and gf are seeing another girl
>everyone has feelings for everyone
>girl is confused and conflicted about having a treeway, long distance relationship, which is new to all of us
>calls off her visit this weekend because she's seeing a guy (apparently forcing herself to a normal relationship)
>texted us twice already saying that she misses us

I'm trying to hold my horses but apparently she's starting to regret not comming. Does this mean we might have a chance with her?

>>18248851
Women are not impressed with telling them that you find them attractive. Not only does it happen all the time if they're cute, they are so used to it being a come on that it kind of auto-translates to "I want to fuck you". And let's face it, men are so thirsty that them wanting to fuck you doesn't necessarily mean that you're that grand. It just means they can fuck you.

Of course this is different from telling a girl you find her attractive -after- establishing personal chemistry or dating. I'm talking about the first stages.

What you do is talk about yourself, ask about her, talk about what you find attractive and ask about what she finds attractive (make sure to practice asking questions about stuff you don't know a lot about - typically if you let go of the shallow details and focus on what someone might get out of it, you can relate to it enough to think of something to ask) all the while letting her sense that you find her attractive with light flirting, lots of longer eye contact, a bit of teasing if you find the opportunity, and so on.

Seducing someone means: making them want you, making them want sex, wetting their appetite. Being blunt about your intentions only works if she's either a rare exception or someone who just so happens to already feel horny and like hooking up - very slim chance. This is also why random dick pics are not a good strategy, what might arouse a woman once she's wet and has been thinking about sex isn't the same as what will arouse her when sprung on her out of nowhere as she's minding her own business. Plus, the apprehension and tension are a big part of the game.

>>18248851
>Would you say the best openers are simply stating that you found that particular female attractive, or do you have to indirectly state you find her interesting (by talking about each others careers, hobbies etc.) and then move onto sexual conversation?
Ffs how old are you and why are you so socially dumb?

>>18248849
Another thing, try to cut off contact from the fuckbuddy guy too after that talk. Because it can be a shitty feel for him, if he feels like you just used him or are "keeping him warm" as a second option or something.

>>18248865
Sounds to me like her heart is in it, she likes you a lot, but it's a precarious arrangement, she can't see it working out, she's afraid to get hurt and/or be in a relationship that causes more trouble than it's worth... and so on.

I would let her know that a) you both miss her as well b) you feel like it's a very complicated situation for her at the moment and it's a lot and c) that you will either give her space or are more than happy to have a frank conversation about what's going through her head right now, whenever she wants.

>>18248772
I don't need a guy to tell me that he thinks I'm attractive, and him talking to me is an obvious sign that he wants to get to know me more. What you want to say is plain autistic

>>18248865
I've been there, and I think there is a 0,01% chance of making those poly relationsships work. The thing is having complete communication with each other.
You should really meet them both, or if it's LDR make some group call and talk it all out.

>>18248866
Ok, thank you for the advice.
>>18248867
>>18248874
Yes, I get it, I've been called autistic my entire life.

>>18248873
I hope I don't sound like an ass, but we did this already. We talked twice to her this week, very openly about it. What she said to us can be simplified to: "I am emotionally involved and my feelings for you two are true, I'm just really confused right now and don't want it to get worse, that's why I'm not going". We're not contacting her to not interfere in her weekend with her guy, but she replied to some pictures my gf posted on IG stories.

We totally understand her, I as the guy in fact understand her better than even mu gf. We're all 28~30, by that age women instinctively want to settle down, marry, have kids and so on. She even said this specifically, but between the lines I think she's worried to waste time with us and when it doesn't work out she'll be the one left alone. We did all we could to ease her mind, but still.

She's also talking about this with a female cousin of her, so maybe she's playing some part in it, because in the five months we've been talking she never seemed concerned with it

>>18248877
Yeah I know it's hard, specially for her. My and me gf are really stabilished as a couple, been toughether for almost a decade now. She mentioned it specifically, she doesn't want to be the one sticking out if this ends. Either way, it's been so good to all of us (she even said she's happier and a better person after meeting us), that I don't see why not at least try.

>>18248859
hmm thats funny, i didnt know it was overwhelming and i always thought clit was stronger orgasms

>>18248889
You don't... but yeah if you tried to talk about it as much as you can I don't think you can do much else than let her know you're there to talk more as soon as she wants to.

It's indeed different to try your hand at a relationship like this in your late twenties. It doesn't just become "can I handle this, won't it drain me, can I love two people in a non-conservative arrangement", it also means potentially accepting that she won't get the white picket fence dream with two kids swinging in the back yard and a cheery husband who loves just her. It must be really complicated to figure out what part of her sincerely can and wants to deal with this, and what part is just desperate to try to convince herself that this is who she is because she caught feelings bad.

And indeed, you did not mention how long you are dating your girlfriend but if you share a lot of history... that's really intimidating and would make most people feel left out to join. Romance relationships are intense, there's already plenty of insecurity, power struggle and compromising in one that involves two people.

I think you'll have to accept that you need to take the passive position here because you are asking more of her in order to be together, than it would take for you (being the token couple, and perhaps more experienced with poly stuff in general).

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>>18248859
>only ever had clit orgasms
>best clit orgasm of my life lasted four seconds
>best sex of my life didn't get me close to vaginal
>mfw i could get fucked for hours on end and still not get an inch closer to the unicorn that is a vaginal orgasm

>>18248904
Just chiming in here, different anon - I did not respond to your original post because I have not had intercourse myself. But there is no token way that clitoral or vaginal orgasms feel. Some women find vaginal ones extremely difficult to have and I have also heard them described in different ways (eg deeper but also a more relaxed, all over the place feeling than the intensity of a clitoral orgasm).

And even just going by clitoral orgasms, which I have a lot of experience with - there's a fizzling out after two minutes of lazy efficient masturbating, then there's a minute of not recognizing the sounds that come out of your mouth after edging for an hour.
Whether or not I've smoked weed or drank alcohol beforehand, how long I took to reach the orgasm, how long it had been since last time, whether or not I am with a partner who's done stuff to me, whether or not I am also fingering my ass simulatenously etc all influence how strong and how long the orgasm is.

It's not as simple as comparing two static sensations and on top of the situation/context people also have individual sensitivity. Some women's vaginas respond much stronger to penetration than others, some clits are much more sensitive than others...

Anyone who's actually been in a real adult relationship that didn't start from high school or something:

I haven't dated since high school, I'll be 22 in about a week. Every single time I had a boyfriend in high school, I always knew immediately I wanted to date them.
I've been out of the game since 16 though.
I recently met this dude. I didn't really feel anything for him, I still don't entirely know if I do. We've been hanging out pretty regularly for about a month and a half, we usually see each other 1-2 times a week. I had assumed this was just a casual thing, but I'm starting to get some vibes from him that it's becoming less casual.

Since I've never dated or had feelings for anyone as an adult, I don't even really know what I'm feeling. He's a cool dude, we get along, we have a lot in common, the only downside I really have for him is I'm not all that sexually attracted to him.
I never got that instant "I wanna be with him" feeling though like I always did in the past. Idk if that feeling was just high school bullshit hormone rush due to puberty or if that's a necessity for even adult realtionships.
What does it feel like to like someone as an adult? Is it really just something I would know if I did feel it? I just feel like I'm in this weird neutrality. I can't see any reason NOT to date him, but I also can't really see any reason to date him.
Wat do?

Guys!

I met this guy and we are literally perfect for each other. Compatible personalities, same sense of humour, same hobbies, attracted to each other.
We have been texting every day over the last 6 months, hanged out in person once a week or so to watch football.
He said that he likes me a lot but his last girlfriend was crazy and he said he doesn't feel ready for a relationship.
Is he trying to reject me, or asking me to wait, or what?

>>18248937
Normally I'd say that it takes a while to start to feel something, but you say you've been hanging out with him for a month and a half. In that case, you would probably feel something by now. You'd probably feel like you want to see him a lot if you did, typical honeymoon period stuff

>>18248947
>We have been texting every day over the last 6 months, hanged out in person once a week or so to watch football.
>He said that he likes me a lot but his last girlfriend was crazy and he said he doesn't feel ready for a relationship.
How comes you didn't lose attraction for him yet? This seems unrealistic. You are either very young, or don't get lots of attention.

>>18248947
Saying their ex was crazy is almost always a red flag. Also I agree with >>18248949, why would you hang on to someone for 6 months?

>>18248921
ya ofc theres context and shit, and it wasnt even necessarily about the orgasms. i cant imagine some part of someone else being in me, even just the regular sensation of the first of the night. and then also more of the psychological side of it, like the other girl said about the guy dominating her and stuff

>>18248947
>his last girlfriend was crazy
Red flag.

>he doesn't feel ready for a relationship
Translation: he wants to have casual sex with you, while also being able to fuck other girls. Or, he wants you to be his emotional tampon.

I agree with other anon, you are very naive.

>>18248948
I see. I was hoping he was growing on me, which I suppose he did just a little bit but I think you're right. It's been long enough I probably shouldn't be as on the fence as I am huh?

Like, I did actually get a craving to see him the other day, but it wasn't very intense. Was just kind of a "I'm bored, wish he wasn't working so we could watch a movie" kind of thing.

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>>18248904
Well they are in a way that you get it way more frequent and the feeling is like the first chart here.
The second type takes a long long time, and the girl needs to be completely in that headspace where she can let herself fall. And many women just reach the plateau and think that this is it. Which I did too for the longest time and only found out when I bought myself a vibrator.

>>18248915
Get a Hitachi Wand and a vibrator. Take a hot bath before and relax yourself, don't watch porn or something, but lay on your bed, put on nice music you enjoy and take your time to explore your body. And you know, when you put your fingers inside for like 2 inches and try to feel towards your bellybutton from the inside, there is an area roughly the size of a coin that feels a bit more mushy than the rest. Concentrate on that.

>>18248908
That's the funny thing: me and my gf have never imagined we'd get feelings for another girl. We never even considered poly in the first place, we just did threesomes for the kink, and even before her we only had two really shitty ones.

But dat girl, hhhnng, she's such a sweetheart for us, and everything matches so perfectly in tastes and humor. She's even a lawyer just like my gf so they can talk for hours.

And even though I hate to think about this so early, me and my gf have talked and... we don't really oppose to having a weird ass family. Our parents aren't liberals but aren't extreme conservatives either, so it theoretically could work.

We are acting as passively as possible, but after she said both times that she missed us, we kinda started posting pics with hints that only her would get. Like three soda cans where one is of a taste that we hate but she loves. We don't want to text her directly but we know she's watching us there and that's the best way I've come up with to let her now that we're missing her...

>>18248959
thats even more interesting, so does a clit orgasm take a while to 'reload', like guys do?

and then i guess its also possible for simultaneous orgasms (ie clit and vjj at the same time) or are they on the same circuit?

>>18248915
buy a vibrating dildo like Lelo Mona 2 (my favorite). quality is important, because the cheap shit like jelly dildos can be toxic. also they're weak af.

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how furry is a girls face normally

my girlfriend has a lot of peach fuzz on her face, its all blonde/white/whatever and you cant see it all from 2~ feet away but up close it kind of grosses me out but im not sure if its just normal for girls or if i should say something

she doesnt wear makeup which is probably why i notice it, since theres no makeup to cover it up

>>18248961
>it theoretically could work

No, it won't work. Your gf will leave you for the other girl, or you'll leave her for the other girl, or the two of you will use the other girl as your sex toy. True, emotional relationships never work in a threesome. And why would you subject your kid to everyone seeing his parents as a sexual fetish?

>>18248971
Why does that gross you out?

Girls, did your mom teach you how to suck cock? How would you react if she tried to?
https://www.xvideos.com/video8266103/mom_and_teen_sucks_cock_through_glory_hole

>>18248949
I'm 24, pretty cute and get attentions.

I'm attracted because he's perfect for me. He is smart, has a PhD in a field I'm in love with but couldn't study, great sense of humour, shares ALL my interests. Our personalities fit so well together. He is exactly my type physically.

>>18248952
I usually consider "my ex was crazy" as a red flag, but after his ex sent me a mail threatening to kill me I feel like it wasn't an overstatement. She literally is crazy.

>>18248955
He doesn't have sex with anyone, not even with me.

Girls, would a gf make me more enraged or calm me down?

>>18248971
>>18248971

It's normal to have some, but most girls I know just take it out (don't want to know how). Your gf is probably whitening them, which fits if she wants to hide it for daily life, but as you can see, anyone itimate will see it with a second look

>>18248980
Go to a therapist, you imbecile.

>>18248976
>I'm attracted because he's perfect for me. He is smart, has a PhD in a field I'm in love with but couldn't study, great sense of humour, shares ALL my interests. Our personalities fit so well together. He is exactly my type physically.
So why you didn't have sex yet?

>>18248980
Domestic abuse waiting to happen. Get your shit sorted before getting in a relationship.

>>18248971
Completely normal. Hell girls have peach fuzz on their tits, the whole body is covered in it. You can't say anything, every person ever has this. Maybe she has it just a tad more than usual but nothing to do about it.

It's different if she has a stache. Every woman has slightly more pronounced hairs at the upper corners of the mouth, but depending on genetics and being blonde or dark haired it can be (virtually) invisible or pretty damn prominent if she does nothing about it.

>>18248972
Shhhhh let me delude myself lol

We don't have a kid yet, my gf doesn't even want to get pregnant. Sounds creepy but even this seem a nice arrangement: I can have a kid with the other girl since she wants that lol

And it's not like everyone has to know exactly what's going on. It's not like people will look at three people discretly toghether and think by default it's a threeway relationship. We're not teens anymore so it's not like we'll be holding hands and making out in public all the time.

>>18248964
Well most of the times after cumming the arousal is simply gone and you feel exhausted, so it's very rare to actually be in the mood to do it multiple times.
And I think they are not on the same circuit, but are interconnected. It's pretty difficult to differentiate honestly, but I advise you to also rub the clit whenever it feels good for her, because it can make a vag orgasm more likely to happen.

>>18248967
What would you reccomend for someone who is broke?

>>18248996
Is my gf a freak then? I can suck her clit nonstop and make her cum multiple times within the first ten or fifteen minutes

Although desu I do poke her gspot here and there

>>18248995
how will the kid explain it to his friends? his future girlfriends? you can't keep it a secret forever

and this
> I can have a kid with the other girl since she wants that lol
shit's already falling apart. btw, if you really want children, you need to dump your current gf anyways. children can't be compromised on or everyone turns out miserable

>>18248996
ya dw im very good. i have girls in the wider social circle come to me to see if the rumours are true

just wondering how its like on the other side

Have any guys here pretended to be politically left in order to get a girl of that belief to like you more? Does it work? Asking for a friend

>>18249014
Should I change my personality in order to fill my emptiness with shallow relationships?

>>18249014
Discussing politics is a bad idea in general at the beginning of a relationship.

>>18249003
I actually read a bit into poly. Kids don't even realize it until they have age enough to understand and be quiet about it. And some friend of mine even mentioned his parents travelled all the time with a single female "friend" when I brought this up

And about the kid I'm mostly joking, I'm definitly not dying for a kid right now, it's sitting right next to poly relationship in the "long term possibility I don't really need to be happy but would be cool" shelf

>>18248807
You need to think of women firstly as human beings, get on equal grounds.

Relationships (in general) are organic, they never work if it's forced or at least what you consider being direct.

Try to talk to people, get a feel of what they are and decide if they appeal to you or not on more than just a physical level. Someday you'll click with someone, and she'll click with you.

Patience is key anon, good luck

>>18248987
I don't do casual sex.

>>18248859
10/10 post. Are you the same girl who wrote a very informative post about kissing and another hot post about oral sex (I think)?
I'd gladly be your dick. You're already making me fap with that description.

>>18249030
>equal grounds
Men and women are never equal
They are like junkies on two different drugs, and those drugs are called testosterone and estrogen, hence the hallucinations they see differ completely

>>18249040
I'm not the same poster. Well, I take that as a compliment, thanks. I just want to educate and answer questions.

Guys,

Is it too much to ask to have sex with the lights off more often? Is having the lights on really that important to you?

>>18249042
That's nice and all except women also have testosterone, men also have estrogen and the similarities between men and women far outnumber the differences.

Also the very meaning of equal is different, but with neither being less valuable.

>>18248983
I already do (for another problem). I'll tell her about it, then.

>>18248988
I don't think I'd ever hit someone I'm dating.

>>18249051
>also have testosterone, men also have oestrogen
Its a bad argument, as the concentration of each hormone is so little, this was probably only made by evolution to bring them together at least somehow, so they would conceive children.
But the thinking process and the perception of reality is very different nonetheless.

>>18249049
It doesn't really matter to me. Counter question: Why does it seem like so many women prefer the lights to be off?

>>18249058
It feels more intimate and romantic

>>18249058
Insecurity.

>>18249060
Being able to see your partner makes it a million times more intimate than having sex with the lights off.

>>18249060
Not being able to see the person you're having sex with makes it more intimate? I just don't get it.

>>18249042
Right, but I'm talking about the social component of it all.

Trying to interact with a person without seeing her as a puzzle to solve in order to get some is, I think, miles better

>>18249058
It's just so much more freeing having the lights off. I don't have to worry about how everything's looking, so I can focus on how things feel. If it were up to me, we would have sex with the lights off nearly every night. But I'd make it 50/50. Lights on for his enjoyment, lights off for mine

>>18249066
That makes sense

>>18249049
How do you see each other in complete darkness?
I think I wouldn't like this, because I'm a very visual guy, seeing the girl turns me on.

>>18249057
You're delusional. Men and women can do the same work and work together, get the same education just fine, speak the same language, largely agree on what's fun to do in your spare time, what art is beautiful, they value the same human or constitutional rights, know the same landscape of emotions.

And this is not saying that there are no differences, or that those are only "nurture". But people are more fond of the "men come from Mars, women from Venus" narrative than is realistic biologically or psychologically. It's actually to the point that researchers actively look for what is different between men and women (in terms of neurological response or whatever the test is about), disregarding ten times as more shit that's exactly the same, because people love their "men do y, women x!" fluff pieces.

Source if you don't believe me
http://news.wisc.edu/analysis-differences-between-the-sexes-largely-exaggerated/

>>18249062
>>18249064

I agree with her about the lights off feeling intimate. It's like when someone whispers in your ear, you lean in and your world of focus closes in on just them, hanging on their every word.

I've had some of the best sex with the lights off. Feeling his body heat, suddenly feeling a strong hand sliding up my thigh. It's like being blindfolded where you focus on stuff that much more, you're that much more tuned in to your partner and how he feels

>>18249058
Why do people like blindfolds?

Because it heightens your other senses. And yes many women find it freeing to not have everything be visible all the time. And yeah harsh light can be unromantic, people don't light candles for nothing, it's a more romantic as opposed to business-like and efficient setting.

>>18249070
Ideally, you don't. You have to literally feel your way across each other's bodies. There's something hot about getting to feel my guy feel around for my neck, lips, and pussy. We both pay more attention to how the other's body feels.

But for me, a big part of the appeal is just not having to worry about how I'm looking. I just feel more safe and secure and free to let loose

>>18249018
Not changing, pretending. Not very different from pretending to have an interest in something.

>>18249019
And if you're not on the relationship stage, just friendly?

Going on a date tomorrow with a chick five years younger than me (I'm 25), any girls willing to give me some tips? I'm a virgin but pretty handsome and people often assume I'm a normie/Chad.

>>18249082
>>18249066
>I don't have to worry about how everything's looking
What exactly are you worrying about? Being clean and having make up or if your boobs are sagging and your ass not being big enough?

Everyone can answer i dont care
My dick is 6.5 long and 5.5 circumference
is it ok? I've never actually had any comments on it so far

>>18249089
>zits/red spots/little wounds
>cellulite
>unflattering angles (eg sitting in a position that creates stomach rolls)

These for me. I know what my body looks like and I'm fine with it, but sometimes it's just nice and relaxing to not have that "oh shit I hope I don't have a bright red pimple on my back" thought flashing through your head if he turns you over.

>>18249089
Gotta make sure my stubborn double chin isn't showing (inevitable when I'm on top or when he's going down on me, so I don't like either of those with the lights on). Gotta make sure I'm not making any dumb faces (or making no faces, more of my issue because I trained myself to be an orgasm ninja). Gotta make sure I'm doing sexy things when he's looking at me. Gotta make sure I always arch my back and suck in my stomach as long as the lights are on

>>18249098
Ooo also this, these are also big ones. I hate my butt cellulite. Also I've got a freckle on my pooper that always looks like I missed a spot while wiping.

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>>18249091
Refer to this for questions about penis size

>>18249100
I'd like to second doing sexy things when he looks. Especially because I find giving head pretty straining and to suddenly have to look hot and fiery while you feel like you have to puke and are trying to keep your eyes from tearing up from how strained you're working him... doesn't work out that well! I love the eye contact but it's a big relief being able to go to town on him without having to look charming while I do it.

>>18249112
I think 5" - 6" should be considered average, because statistically it is.

>>18249116
Pretty sure it's a bait image

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>>18248756
Is it weird for me to do online dating at 20 years old as a guy at a large, party-heavy college? I'm looking for long term relationships, so I was going to use OkCupid instead of Tinder. There are no single girls in my classes (engineering), my pastimes (reading and lifting) are
solitary, and I'm very introverted so I don't go to parties.

>>18249091
Average length is 5" to 5.5". Average girth apparently 4.6", just looked that one up.

Ignore the meme guide the other guy posted.

Like penises differ women have vaginas not just of different width but also of different depth. It's possible that one woman won't be able to take you balls deep and the next could take even more... a part is always physical fit and compatibility. But you're above average for sure. People lie about their size (online and in real life), take the many comments of guys with 7" or 8" dicks with a bunch of salt.

>>18249112
Im not sure how good google's inches to cm conversion is but 5 inches is almost 13cm, im pretty sure that would be fully usable

>>18249115
>being able to go to town on him without having to look charming while I do it.

Fuuuucking this. I have long hair that I usually use to keep my face covered. Whenever he decides to be a caring boyfriend and move the hair out of my face, I'm like "well shit"

Also, him going down on me in the dark is very nice. Don't have to worry about making eye contact and wondering what I'm supposed to be doing while he's down there

>>18249115
Well get yourself a pervert guy with no shame at all. He loved when I looked strained and my makeup messed up. And once my gag reflex was activated and I actually puked on his dick and he just said "Yes, cutie let it all flow on me". I wanted to die at this point, but at least he enjoyed it.

If a girl likes me is she guaranteed to be texting me first? Or do some girls simply not text?

>>18249125
Yeah i looked it up on google too, i just got curious how real those stats were since i couldn't actually find some studies on it that seemed legit
So far i never really had any complaints about my dick but i've never had a look of approval either so i got anxious i suppose

>>18249131
I've been with my guy for over 6 years, and if it were only about me, I would only ever have him text me first. That way I know he still cares about me and isn't merely tolerating my existence

>>18249087
I don't have advice, all I can say is that my friend is/was probably in your same situation and pulled it off perfectly.
He was 23, the girl was 18. I assume he was a virgin but I can't really be sure. People act like he's handsome, I can't really decide on that. Anyway they became a couple. It's been a year and they are still together.

>>18248852
I fucking love making out after that. Tasting myself on him is incredibly hot. I wish he would let me do the same to him lol

>>18249129
>giving a blowjob with your long hair down
You're a braver woman than I am.

Yes! Also I really like touching his face during, it makes me feel less awkward than just taking it passively and I find the contrast between doing something tender while he is munching on my labia really pleasing.

>>18249130
It's not so much that he would've cared that I didn't look pretty but he was always worried about me not enjoying it or being in pain. Which wasn't the case, I just didn't look like I was having a great time because of all the effort. And I do really like the idea of sexy eye contact myself, just easier said than done in the heat of the moment.

>"Yes, cutie let it all flow on me"
That's... dedication I guess. Hope he didn't just expect you to keep going though?

>>18248865
Onision pls go

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>love gf as a person, pretty much my best friend
>but sexually pretty incompatible and doesnt like a lot of what i want to try
>sex is still good but none of my kinks ever get worked into it
>dont want to make her do them since her not enjoying it wouldnt be fun

Girls: Is there any hope for us? I'm heading towards a breaking point where I just get Tindr and get it all out of my system with someone who'd actually enjoy things.

>>18248852
Seconding the second comment. I pull him right in for extensive making out afterwards. After licking my ass as well, no problem.

I know some women do care but taste is always going to vary, no pun intended.

Why would a girl say she would love to meet up then not show up to a date and start ignoring me?

Women
Why are you so nice to me?

>>18249158
Is she sure that she would not like any of it? Is there a milder version you can try first (like talking dirty about it)?

I'd say yeah, in the end if you're this unsatisfied it becomes a dealbreaker, but if I were in your position and liked her that much I'd want to make sure that it would not work out. Sometimes the idea of something is different from experiencing the reality once you're horny.

>>18249154
>Hope he didn't just expect you to keep going though?
I was so embarrassed I started crying and went to the bathroom, but he was still pretty supportive and admitted to have watched and even liked some videos where girls puke into bowls, which kind of enforced my will to die at that point.

>>18249098
>>18249103
>>18249100
>>18249115
>>18249129
Guys don't care at all about any of these. Stop worrying about it.
t. Mr. Penis.

>>18248807 open yourself up with a knife before you open with that shitty thing

>>18249171
That's not how insecurity works. You know it's irrational but it's beyond control.

t. is unable to ask for extra ketchup at McDonald's

>>18249164
I've tried and it's not like it's anything ultra bizarre. Like for one thing, I'd just like her to swallow instead of me having to search around for a tissue box or something. Swallowing is something I'm into and she's very much not, the only time she ever did was when she was really drunk almost 3 years ago.

I don't feel like I'm asking for too much but it feels like anything is too much.

>>18249160
Really bad social skills. She doesn't know what other reply to give when put on the spot, doesn't know how to then back out and tell you she doesn't actually want to because she already said yes, doesn't dare to show up because what if you have god knows what expectations or are going to be even harder to get to leave her alone after a date, then she doesn't dare to face you because she stood you up.

Not necessarily down to the letter what went through her head, but when girls do stuff like this there's always at least a big component of not knowing how to handle the situation.

>>18249171
I'd rather have sex with my guy go beyond "penis is fucking vagina, excellent" and transcend into being as hot as I can possibly make it. Which is hard to do when my relaxed stomach pokes out farther than my boobs, and when my ass looks like cottage cheese when I flex my cheeks

>>18249181
Then hit the gym, you cow

>>18249171
What the other anon said, you cannot just will yourself to not care about something. Sure I try to let go and be more free but it's a long term process, and short term it's fun to fuck while not having any of these in the back of your mind.

Also not sure if you've ever had sex with someone on the regular but I've absolutely had a partner throw a distracted glance on an ingrown hair or something. Sure it's not going to turn anyone reasonable off but it's not attractive in itself.

>>18249168
Yeah I can understand. That seems like a nightmare. And not really a pleasant mutual kink for your partner to be into...

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>>18249121
plz respond

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>>18249182
>tfw 19.8 BMI but you look pregnant if you don't duck in

>>18249187
suck in*
shit lol

>>18249121
Man, fuck Maryland

>>18249178
I don't know, I mean, I have no issues with swallowing but I have heard this opinion before. At the end of the day you're swallowing a blob of bodily fluids at once, the texture is like snot. I've argued about this with friends who said that precum vs swallowing the semen itself is like making out vs having someone spit a mouthful into your open mouth.

What about starting smaller, can she take a lick if it's on your or her body so she tastes it and feels the texture a bit but it's not everything at once? I once had a lover who smeared his fingers in it and let me suck them off, that was crazy hot, if she usually likes those kind of things maybe you could try that, incorporate it more at first?

Is she this adamant about anything you'd like?

>>18249187
Just work out instead of making excuses. It's not hard to find an hour to work out, I work a full time job and manage an hour ever day.

>>18249182
Cellulite has nothing to do with being fat or even not in shape, it's just genetic and virtually all women have it to some extent.
And depending on how big her breasts are it doesn't have to mean much, just like some women store all their fat on their hips and ass some store it in the stomach.

>>18249195
Curiously just about everything you said is word for word what's happened, right down to her describing it as snot.

She has tried scooping a little onto her finger and sucking it but not much more than that. I mean, the swallow thing is more about how intimate it is and how natural it feels since it just happens. Getting close then and then her saying "close? grab a tissue" just takes all the joy out of it every time and makes it feel like I'm at a massage parlor or some shit.

I guess the thing she's most adamant about is anything anal and I do mean anything, not so much as a finger. For all I know I wouldn't enjoy it but I just want to try you know? Exploration is fun and I feel like I'm suffocating.

Girls, how would you want a guy to message you on something like tinder?

I got a few matches that I haven't talked to because I don't know how to break the ice. Sure I could just say hi or hello or something but I bet there's already a million other guys saying something as bland

most of these girls don't put anything of note on their profiles though so there's nothing on it that I can use as a conversation starter like, 'oh you like x? i like x too.'

or am I just overthinking it and it really simple and easy to start things with a 'hi' or 'how are you' or something

>>18249196
My job's been helping me get into shape. Been carrying car batteries through the woods, digging holes, carrying water buckets. God please don't tell me to do cardio to lose the stomach, cardio makes me want to kill myself

>>18249208
I got 32C's so it's not like they're tiny. Just big enough to be ashamed that my stomach sticks out farther than them when I'm relaxed

>>18249219
Well, it really is similar, it's soft and kind of gooey, and lukewarm. I don't give two shits but I feel like whether or not you care mostly has to do with your ability to not overthink it (or focus on it technically being like his orgasm that you are swallowing, as opposed to what it biologically is). If she can deepthroat that could be an option though, that way you can shoot it down her throat. But given what else you say I guess it's not likely.

I absolutely see what you mean, though. At the very least she could try to take care of it herself and not instruct you.

Have you ever hinted that this could be something that causes you to leave? Not to give her an ultimatum to cross her boundaries and ideally she would try anything she is still somewhat comfortable with, but it could be another push for her to put full urgency behind finding a compromise within what she can handle...

>>18249219
I tried anal with someone. If it were only up to me, I'd never have anyone get near my butt ever again. But the guy I'm with has huge fetishes for poopers so I guess I gotta compromise

>>18249243
>If she can deepthroat that could be an option though, that way you can shoot it down her throat
That's also a no go. She's tried going deep before but gags about half way, which is a major turn off for me.

>Have you ever hinted that this could be something that causes you to leave? Not to give her an ultimatum to cross her boundaries and ideally she would try anything she is still somewhat comfortable with
Well not exactly, no, but that's because I've felt it was too close to ultimatum to push such a thing. But since it is having such an effect on me, I guess I should bring it up but I have no idea how to do it softly. I don't want her to feel forced into doing it since that wouldn't feel good at all.

>>18249247
It's nice that you tried though. Did you only do it once or did you keep trying for him?

>>18249249
Try to bring it up like something that is a challenge for you as a couple. Not something that is necessarily her problem to fix before you leave. And to get it out of the way you can also just tell her that you don't know how to phrase it without sounding like you pressure her and you don't actually want to pressure her, just to think about whether she sees potential within what she's still comfortable with or not... in the light of you not being satisfied.

>>18249249
Oh I tried it with an ex. He was bitching and crying about me being scared of getting pregnant, so he was like "hurr durr just let me fuck your butt". No lube, no prep work. He spat on his fingers and that was it. Managed to get the tip in and started doing really shallow thrusts. I was silently grimacing the pain, and when he occasionally asked if it was feeling better, I'd give him the same answer: "Not really." Eventually he got frustrated that he couldn't go any deeper so he gave up. I immediately went to the bathroom because I was in pain. He'd torn me a little bit, there was some blood, but nothing major. I cleaned myself up and went back into the room, just in time for a fart to cleanly, loudly slide out of my loosened butthole. He then laughed at me uncomfortably.

Haven't tried it with my current guy yet. He hasn't wanted it badly enough to be willing to buy lube, and I'd be able to live perfectly happy without ever having anything go up my butt again, so I'd say the lube's on him but I'm ready to try once he gets it.

>>18249131
Introverts might not text.

>>18249255
I'll try my best but if it still doesn't work out then I don't know what I'll do, things feel so vanilla otherwise and I want to try things. And of course the whole "use a tissue" thing just feels so... I don't know, wrong. To me it's the same thing as having a rule of not kissing her on the mouth.

>>18249262
Yikes that sounds really bad. As much as I want to try, I'd never do anything without lube and such since I know how things are (hey I have an internet connection and I use it) so lube would be used without question, obviously after loosening up with a finger or two. I'd just like the chance is all but she's always so against trying anything.

>>18249275
Is there a reason that she's against it? Maybe she had a bad experience. Maybe she's got IBS and associates her butthole with gross brown lava and she'd rather not risk your face being anywhere close to the source of that

>>18249280
I believe she does have a past bad experience yes. My face wouldn't be anywhere near though, I'm not into that kind of thing.

That also poses another problem since if it's something that can never be tried with her, what do I do then?

>>18249282
Maybe there's still the possibility of trying it with her. Talk to her, try to understand how she feels about anal, and why she feels that way. Don't pressure her, just try to gently find out.

If she's absolutely unwilling to do it, then you need to decide if the relationship with her is more important than you wanting to try anal.

Are girls nice to me so much because they find me attractive or do women just have better manners?

>>18249282
Also, I've heard that getting poop on your dick is absolutely a thing. And my sister did multiple enemas, her and her guy used lube, and what came out of her afterwards was poopy lube that smelled awful

>>18249285
It's not just about the anal, there are other things. She's quite stubborn on many things and I guess the sexual side of her stubbornness has become the straw the broke the camels back. Honestly I'd just be happy with the swallow part, I can easily live with just that being included in the future.

I'm already planning to talk to her about everything else soon. I feel I've been patient with many things and she starts to make good changes but always falls back to the same old way again, which frustrates me.

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>>18249294
>Chad breaks up with girl because she won't swallow his cum
>I just want a gf to love

>>18249339

maybe one day you'll understand how complicated relationships can be

>>18249339
What's not a big issue to someone is a major issue to someone else. It's easy to judge others and feel they're dumping their partner over something that seems silly to you, but you aren't experiencing the feelings associated with it. It may seem like everything will be smooth sailing once you get a girlfriend, but trust me dude--even the best relationships are full of problems and require a lot of work. It's not where things are guaranteed to work out and be easy just because you love her a lot.

>>18249179
Thanks

>>18249262
What the fuck? LOL

>>18249289
It is. I don't know how some guys want to fuck an ass without condom. Out of the girls that I've fucked, the condom got out pretty clean only with this one girl.
How do you know about your sister, though? Were you watching?

What does "no AA" mean on backpage?

>>18249359
>How do you know about your sister, though? Were you watching?

No, she told me. She liked to boast about her sexual escapades with her boyfriend (now an ex), it was a form of competition for her and she felt the tables got turned against her when I lost my virginity first.

>>18249364
Is this common between sisters? Besides competing with each other, girls also compete with their sisters? What the fuck?
I'm glad I don't have this with my brother.

If I once asked a girl out and she said she was busy does this mean I should never ever ask her out again?
In my case I've known the girl for 2 years or so now, I asked her out 1 year ago. I feel like she likes to hang out with me but I don't know if she's just being extra nice for no reason.

Another question: How can I tell if a girl likes me if she's quite nice to everyone in general.

>>18249372
I'm a man and I get a kick out of showing up my older sister. Althou it doesn't take much, because I'm superior in every way

>>18249372
I don't think it's common between sisters. It was just a thing between my sister and I. Even now, I feel discomfort knowing I'll never make as much money as my sister. But I would never, ever trade my life for hers, so that helps me feel better, especially when she says things to try and fire up my competitive nature. And I'm pretty certain she does it on purpose, she's incredibly manipulative and self-aware of her manipulative behavior, which only makes her more dangerous. But I know her for the snake that she is (still love her though), so I know her shtick which helps protect me against her subtle competitions

>>18249383
This makes me glad for being born a man. I'm sorry, but I'm checking my privilege.

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@girls

I dated a nice girl which I met in college for some months now. I took her out to dinner and then to the movies in which I initiated the handholding and she gracefully accepted the invitation.

We lasted like that for the rest of the movie and handholded on our way to the car. When I dropped her off at her home she went for a kiss on the cheek but I Instead gave her a little peck on the lips to which she responded with a laugh, (I'm assuming wasnt a nervous laughter) said bye and left.
I know youre not in her mind but do you think I did the right thing? I should also mentioned that I said "Sorry, I felt I had to do it" to which she answered not to worry about it but now I cringe just thinking of that line.

Hi girls

TL;DR: how do i get a HEALTY sex life?
I love spending time with my partner but after couple of months i cant find energy to have sex 4-6 times a day. First couple of months are great, we literally spent everyday in our bad but after some time my body cant handle it. When i say no, explain my situation they take it personally and get upset. I had to quit gym because i feel exhausted all the time. I get the feeling after sometime they see me as a sex toy. All they want is sex. All my relationships were the same. Spent couple of months then i break up because they make me feel like a fucking vibrator. Is it always gonna be like this or just my ex'es were really horny?

>>18249372
These things are not universal. My sister is doing better than me on all accounts. I'm perpetually single (intimacy issues), she's just gotten engaged to her boyfriend of five+ years and they're still so cutesy together it's like they're in the honeymoon phase. I'm still wrapping up my bachelor's, she's just done with her PHD. I have a big ass college debt and she has plenty of money and a job lined up now that her PHD is over.
To be fair, there's stuff I do better at than she does but looking at conventional societal stuff (we're about equally attractive I'd say) she is lightyears ahead of me.
I love her more than anyone else in this world and I couldn't care less about some pissing contest. My sister who always had my back growing up is getting locked down by a man who knows how to treat her and getting the professional acknowledgment she damn well deserves - fuck yeah.

>>18249409
Wew lad. That line is cringy indeed instead you should 've use the good ol chloroform and carry her to your raping van

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>>18249428
Yeah kek, I dont know what the fuck went through my mind when I said that

>>18249380
Being nice is just being nice bro. Just because someone treats you as a human being doesnt mean she wants your D. I doubt she would missed the opportunity if she wanted to date you.

>>18249437
Are women nicer than men? Because they treat me better

>>18249443
No such thing exists. You either really hot or a good friendzone material. Just move on bro. Find another one who wants you

>>18249449
I'm not that anon. I'm not bad looking, but I don't think I look like pure sex. I suppose I'm worth keeping around for other stuff

>>18249463
Elaborate

>>18249157
What the actual fuck is onision???

>give up on online dating
>keep browsing dating sites/app just to laugh at people and fap to the rare hottie
What's wrong with me?

>>18249470
I've been called handsome and cute on more than a handful of times, but I don't think I look downright hot. I'm pretty, strong, handy, and I suppose l can hold a better conversation on more topics than most people

>>18248772
>"Hello, ma'am. I don't mean to interrupt, but I find you to be incredibly beautiful and just wanted to get to know you more. What's your name?"
Jesus fucking christ, that is so cringy. Also, I would instantly reject a guy who only saw me for my appearance.

>>18248827
>I literally just acknowledged my extreme inferiority to all womanhood, and now you think I see them as objects? They are literally goddesses.
Hero worship is still not a healthy view of male/female relationships. See them as an ordinary, messy, convoluted people.
>Anyway, only beta males like you think sleeping with 100 women is objectifying. Women LOVE that shit. Every notch on a man's bedpost is more attraction from women who know he's been "tested" by other women.
You know what women hate? pseudo psycho analysis of them. They don't "love that shit". This further proves the "you think women are simple objects" hypothesis.
>Also, I already have a circle of male friends. They're successful with women because they're tall and handsome. I can't even get sloppy seconds.
>sloppy seconds
My god dude, seek help.

>>18249288
The latter.

>>18249288
Are you actively rude to people you don't personally find attractive? No? Same goes for most people.

>>18249526
>>18249529
Alright, good to know

How do I get rid of my "nice guy" mentality?

I've been reading about nice guys for the last few days and it's literally me and I'm freaking out. I grew up believing anime/disney movies and my dad never taught me much besides nice guy stuff.

>>18249576
Depends. Do you mean being a nice guy or being the kind of entitled prick that thinks he's nice and that's why girls won't sleep with him?

>>18249579
Well I thought being nice women was how you get to be with them. Never really delved into why I thought that way, just blindly believed it. I developed feelings for a girl and the whole time I was just being nice to her being friendly and one night after months I confessed to her saying like I love you and she rejected me.

I'm 22 and have had no experience with girls prior to this. I don't really know what advice I should be given I just want to be better with women and what I should do if I notice those feelings again.

do girls get tired of being given the green light to choose what they want to do?

id rather just chill at my place and end up defering the choice back to her, but my not-gf says i gotta pick where we're going out next

i always suggest bowling though, but i guess she really doesnt want to do that

opinions?

>>18249474
Your future self

>>18249443
>>18249288
>>18249161
Girls score higher in agreeableness within trait studies (Big Five)

>>18249619
>she rejected me
this happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>18249619
Girls /do/ want you to be nice to them, they just don't want you to be a doormat orbiter yes-man who presents no challenge and offers nothing unique.

The last few girls I've been with have all had a habit of sucking on my fingers if my hand went near their face, and sometimes after I fingered them. Can anyone explain why some women like to do this?

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Where do I find right-wing men in California? Church groups are turning into the only realistic option.
I have no interest in hiding political beliefs for the rest of my life, or having to "fake it" for someone.

>inb4move
Won't be moving for a fucking while.

>>18249652
A lot of guys find it arousing, as it's implying blow jobs. Most girls know this.

>>18249630
>do girls get tired of being given the green light to choose what they want to do?

Of course they do. If the situation were reversed you'd be annoyed at always being the one having to choose the activity. It looks like a lack of initiative or drive or direction for you to always be happier to chill at home or follow along with what she wants. If a girl likes you chances are she'll go places and do things that don't really interest her just to spend time with you.

>bowling

I'm not your target audience but I fucking hate bowling. Go and get food or go ice skating or to the movies or see a show at your local community theatre or go for a drive in the mountains/country/city/somewhere vaguely more exotic than the area you two live in.

>>18249655
Oh okay, that makes sense.

for women

I'm pretty shy, I suppose an introvert. When people get to know me or people who don't know me but know about me from mutual friends, the first thing they will say is that I'm funny. I think it can make me more approachable.

Is being "too funny" a bad thing? It seems like sometimes when I try to be serious, no one takes me seriously.

>>18249654
I think you just have to get lucky and meet as many people as you can. I found mine in highscool thankfully.

If you're in university, maybe you could join a relevant club.

>>18249670
>If you're in university, maybe you could join a relevant club.
Yeah, might see what's out there, as long as the meeting times aren't ridiculous.

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>>18249654
Make an online dating profile and answer questions about politics. Right-wing men outnumber women.

Counterquestion: In Washington DC, where do I find right-wing women that aren't mormons?

>>18249679
I've been tempted to try online since I'm in class so often. I'd be worried about catfishing shit though, but I guess it depends on the website.

>>18249679
Congress

>>18249679
Online dating profile on what site?

>>18249695
Okcupid has questions like "Do you like Trump"? Answer yes, place high importance, and you'll quickly match with fellow right-wingers.

>>18249695
>>>/pol/

>>18249701
Ah I haven't tried OkCupid yet, guess that's what I'll be doing thisafternoon.

>>18249661
Depends on what 'too funny' means. If it means you can't be serious when you need to be, then yes, it's a bad thing.

>>18249372
No way, I love my sister and am nothing but happy for her when she has good things, even if I don't have them myself. Jealousy and competitiveness have no room in a relationship when you think the other person deserves what they have.

>>18249654
Meet a guy from NorCal, I know much more conservatives than liberals up here.

Dickman here, asked a female associate from last semester to hangout after finals. However, I'm afraid of running into the same issue where me being too casual makes her think of it as a just a friendly outing with no romance involved. Should I make my intentions more clear or what?

What are some key words or things guys should do to signify you want a relationship instead of friendship?

t clueless autistic

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>>18248756
Guys

Do you see women that love animals as a green flag?

Men & women:

I've been with my bf for three years. I've tried every single form of birth control and they always lead to infections (pill, IUD, implant...). This causes sex to be painful for me and I bleed every time.

The problem is, my bf insists I stay on the pill. He says he can't feel anything with a condom (it's worth noting he has death grip). He insists that couples in long term relationships all use female birth control. What should I do here?

Girls, do you really think you are less crazy about sex than guys are?

>>18250649
Yes

My boyfriend and I saw a sale for something, 80% off. He bought one and I bought one. He took his to his friends and finished it. He then took mine, which had 70% left and used it all with his friends in one night. I was planning on using it over the next month. He says I'm being unreasonable for being mad. I feel it's disrespectful, he thinks it's no problem since he had fun, he says I can buy more full price. I think he should've bought more for himself. I'm not going to pay $110 for full price since we're both underemployed atm, can't justify that, thats why I was so thrilled with the sale.

>>18250629
Stop using birth control. The fact that the guy is still able to enjoy himself despite the fact that you are in pain and bleeding suggests that he's pretty selfish

>>18250629
I'm not on birth control for similar reasons. My boyfriend threw a fit at first because he was young and experienced but I stood my ground. He got over it because he's not a cunt. Stand your ground, don't let him walk all over you ffs.

can you ever sense mutual attraction between you and a stranger?

it was just a quick glance, but it felt like something.

How can I become the greatest male performer of sexual intercourse in human history?

>>18250669
>>18250676
Thank you for the replies. That's what I want to do too, but he's kind of a shit about it, teasing that he'll break up with me if I do. Guess I just have to take that chance.

Girls:
>dating girl for about a month, she's cool, good looking, kinda bland personality but not bad
>only see her 1-2 times a week cuz we both work (which is fine)
Issue: She has like no sex drive. I'm 23 shes 24 and we had sex 1 whole time. She liked it and even asked how I got so good at eating out. Was chilling in her bed last night watching a movie, hand on her ass under her pants, tried going for it but nope, she didn't want to. Idk if she's trying to play hard to get but if she's not gonna put out I'm low on reasons to stick around

>>18250477
I second this question.

>>18250607
Yes, especially cats (for me).

>>18250629
>>18250676
This.

>>18250477
"wanna go on a date?

Girls, my cat is 15 yo and still gets in heat. Do you see yourself CRAVING dick when you're 80~90 years old?

If a girl touches you like touching your hair or putting her hand on your back when you walk does it mean she may be attracted to you?

I know that being a police officer could benefit me in trying to find a conservative girl, but would it turn away more liberal girls?

>>18249512
What..? What else is he meant to see, your personality..?

>>18250742
Not that anon but, in my country although we have a word for "date" nobody uses it ever. We have the expression "go out with me" though. Anyway, my question: does asking someone out for coffee automatically imply it's meant to be a date?

>>18251104
Huezil?

>>18251143
No, Argentina, Spanish. Nobody says "cita" (date) here.

>>18250477
>>18250738
It's not about key words, it's your attitude. If you compare how you approach someone for friendship vs sex/romance, friendship is much more "just" nice.

This is the thing most red pillers get wrong. Yes women want a nice man, just one who doesn't treat them only nice all the time because there's something neutral/polite/professional to that which doesn't give off a sexual vibe.
Flirting is essentially that: you're not being unfriendly, but you are challenging someone a bit. Teasing them, trying to see if you can get them all huffy, singling them out. Tongue in cheek, that idea.

This isn't 100% mandatory, but if you can pull it off - and she's the right type of person, if a girl is only ever sugary sweet herself it's hard to find an opening, much easier to do when she has a sassy/playful attitude herself sometimes - this is one of the quickest ways to get the point across that you are seeing if there's a connection between the two of you, whether there's chemistry, and not just whether you like each other's company in the neutral sense of those words. There's something playful to dating (inside jokes, provoking each other, sexual power play, role play or other games) that is typically absent from at least the earliest stages of friendship.

Apart from putting yourself out there in this way, avoid filling in the role of a friend. Paying attention to every emotionally charged hint she drops is fine for when you actually are dating. If you do it too quickly you risk setting yourself up as her shoulder to cry on - because you bet she wouldn't pour out her feelings about everything to a guy she was trying to impress. So don't encourage her to beyond what is normal for how long and well you know each other.

As for the flirting, apart from the tension I mentioned the most common way of flirting is just not hiding your natural attraction (smiling easily, flushing, standing closer than usual, touching her whenever possible, lots of eye contact).

>>18251104
Depends on the context. How experienced she is, what your dynamic is like (flirty? professional? platonic?), how much time you spent together before you asked her and so on.

I'd try to wrap it up in a way like "let me take you out and try some good coffee", "let me treat you to drinks to celebrate x".

Girls

If your boyfriend was into fitness and worked out a lot and a nice body, would it make you want to also work out?

And would you be offended if your boyfriend tried to get you to work out?

>>18251174
No. It's not something I'm interested in. I like being active in the sense of hiking, swimming, I do a bit of yoga every day, but going to the gym seems boring as shit. I also just don't want to invest the time. I study, work a side job, volunteer, have friends I want to see regularly, and hobbies I invest a lot of time in. Besides I am slim and happy with my body, I have no desire to look fit as opposed to thin.

Yeah kind of. I make no secret of this, I've never been a work out person in my life. If you want a fit girlfriend, power to you, especially because you actually hold up your end and don't just expect a girl with abs while you sport a gut. But date one, don't try to mold me into your ideal girl after implying that you were happy with me by getting together with me.

Can't you try to meet fit girls through activities related to what you do? It also seems to me like she's much more likely to remain fit if it's from her own desire and not because her boyfriend tries to get her into it.

>>18250887
Street walkers are literally garbage man tier as far as I can tell, but working any higher up in law enforcement is seemingly insanely attractive. A co-worker of mine is dating some police guy who sits in an office all day and everyone keeps telling her she's so lucky and how jealous they are. It weirds me out how much perceived social status seems to matter to people.

>>18251197
Well I love dogs and am trying to become a K9 officer. Eventually yes getting into the administrative side of the department

>>18248756
Question for girls :

Imagine yourself you are a girl that never puts on make up and dresses herself well.

Except if you meet a boy you like.
But to that boy you said you need time for a relationship and that we should see how it develops.

Do you still have intrest in a relationship even if you know he has feelings for you.

>>18251213
I'm sorry man but this is just not something that has a staple answer, it's a broad statement. Personally I would be too angsty to tell a guy I already know I have no interest in that we should see how it develops. But I know there's women who feel so bad about letting someone down that they'd rather go for these tactics and hope he loses interest first or that he gives her an excuse to go "oh see, now I don't like you anymore".

Look at the other signs she gives you. Does she initiate dates or conversations? Are the conversations mutual, aka not just you trying to entertain her passive ass? If you do go on dates, does she look nice compared to how she usually does? Does she respond to flirting if you do it?

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>>18251192
The state of (You)

>>18251220
Because it's so inconceivable that there's something between being fat and being visibly fit...? As a Eurofag, that's actually what most of my peers fall into.

GURLZ: >>18250768

>>18251224
Heh. If I have a loving partner then yes, sure. Apparently the rate with which people's sexual desire declines in old age also has to do with how used they were to regular sex in the years beforehand.

But for a random man, no clue. I wager if I end up being a widow or something I'd crave a man charming me more than literally being dicked.

>>18251222
Slim isn't between fat and fit. Bear mode or THICC is

>>18251235
Between being skinnyfat and fit, then. I mean, that woman is morbidly obese rather than fat anyway.

Me again (>>18248865), sorry to be insistent but I have nobody to talk to about it besides my gf, and we could use a neutral view

Girl posted on IG a picture of her going out with her friends on the saturday night. All girls, not a single guy

Either:
-her "guy" is a girl (low chance, they all seem to be long time friends)
-things didn't work out with her guy for some reason and they didn't spend the weekend toghether
-there's no guy at all, and she only made one up because she's conflicted about us

Wat doooo?

>>18251240
I gave you some responses earlier, but again, I don't think it's really ethical in this situation to actively do anything to tempt her. She has made it very clear that she feels deeply conflicted, whether or not she sends mixed messages it's up to her to figure out what she wants and whether she likes you enough to take the risk.

I'm considering diving back into the dating game after 6 years of hermit mode (by choice, sort of) and I could really use some pointers. How do I go about this? Seems to me the dating scene has changed drastically in even this short amount of time, judging by what I overhear at work.

Many people on here seem to date a lot, so are there any new do's and do not's I should be wary of? Any tips are helpful really.

>>18251218
Outside of dates she looks shit compared to our dates.
She only dresses up if she is around me.

She always says i'm funny, good looking and that i'm also a important person in her life, sometimes she says that i'm her best friend too.

At our dates i usually always make her laugh, most of the time she laughs about dirty jokes that i make.
And if we are doing something together we both have the same % of participation most of the time.

And often we look for a very long time each other in the eyes.

But she said that i should wait and see how it develops because of bad history with boyfriends.
Her last boyfriend tried to rape her and beat her up...

I feel that there is something between us but it is a mixture of friendship and romantic feelings i think.
And i feel like she started to trust me more and more.
She started to talk about her depression too but i also feel like that i will end up in this so called "Friednzone" that is not even excisting.
Except that i always kind of flirt and usually she flirts back.

Shy girls,

Are there any hints that shy girls will give? I met this girl who is very nice but also extremely shy. What might be some signs that you would give off to show attraction?

>>18251248
It does sound to me like she still sees you as a potential romantic partner. No physical stuff ever, not even a kiss? If not, has she gone into why she doesn't want to do that? Especially just the cutesy stuff like holding hands, pecking each other on the cheek spontaneously, can really help budding feelings.

How open have you been towards her? I would at least tell her that it's one thing to have patience, but you want to be sure that it doesn't translate to being friends half-way through without her keeping you up to date about her feelings.
The ex boyfriend thing is a lot of bagage though... but she should at least communicate clearly about where she stands.
Does she demand that you not date other girls?

>>18251243
Hey hi again

We're doing our best, but I guess the anxiety of not knowing what the outcome will be is what's eating us the most. It's like an open ending, if she straight out said "hey I won't be with you in the near future" this would at least give some closure, but she seems reticent to close this door and regret it later.

How to deal with these mixed signals when the three of us want to keep in touch? Hhhnnnnnggg

>>18251250
not a girl, but I'm going to chime in anyway. as a shy guy, one of the things I'm very careful about not doing is showing signs of attraction to others. occasionally I'll catch myself going overboard into ignoring the object of my attraction or even outright showing annoyance, so maybe that's one to look out for.. shy people are tricky as shit

>>18251246
I probably live in a wildly different part of the world than you do, so if you can make sure to ask some single male friends in your region what their experience is.

Apart from that, I think it's the same it's always been by and large, there's just sadly many new ways to avoid opening up if you don't dare to. "Ghosting" (simply not responding anymore without warning) is quite common. Depending on your standards for girls and what you offer, girls might also have a lot of options lined up with all the easy apps.

At the end of the day, it's still the same stuff that matters. Whether you make a connection, making sure you take a real interest in her, being able to show her what kind of person you are and what you're looking for in a relationship. Being well groomed/cleaned and well dressed are vital. Having humor is a huge plus. Try to go for dates where you both have an activity and can spend time on in-depth talking. Hiking (not in the middle of nowhere with no soul in sight), a zoo trip, stuff like that.

>>18251259
I feel you man, I'm a shy guy who likes shy girls and it sucks

>>18251255
Yeah I understand, that's difficult to come to terms with. Have you expressed this to her? Maybe you can come to an understanding about how much time she takes before giving a definite answer?

It's not unreasonable in any way to tell her "hey, if you're still this confused at x point down the line, we're going to take it as a no because it's too much of a burden to be in doubt about it all the time" in whatever phrasing. And then you might be able to accept that -then- she will give you an answer (or the answer is a no from you) and to sort of put it on hold in the meantime.

>>18251250
Look for patterns. If she treats you differently than other people that is virtually always a good sign, even (common for shy people) if this means being "colder" with you than she is to others.

And there's all the non-verbal stuff like flushing, fidgeting, having a hard time making eye contact or doing it all the time, standing close to you, avoiding saying your name (to not "give away" how meaningful it is to her) OR saying it all the time (because she loves how it sounds on her lips), going out of her way to do you little favors (even if she instantly brushes it off if you point it out)... a big one is also her friends/family reacting giddy to you for seemingly no reason. Bonus points if she tries to pokerface and not acknowledge their attitude and they are gleeful towards you.

Am i always gonna be a manwhore? I'm 23. I just want to find a nice girl and settle down. I'm good looking and friendly, and there's always new girls and new blood. I like them but I don't want to make it an ongoing thing with them. Like, we get along, but it gets really boring if I'm with them longer than a few hours, and I just want to go off and do my own thing instead of hanging out with them all day. Maybe I just need to find the girl with the right personality? The girls are cool but I feel no connection.

I've been resisting having casual sex, because it seems wrong, but I'm really tired of not getting laid and I'm completely clueless with regards to dating. Wat do?

Male nonvirgin btw

>>18251282
Yeah it will absolutely change if you meet someone you have a real connection with. You won't know what hit you.
Just be prepared that there's a good chance that once the honeymoon phase wears off, you will still feel tempted to cheat on her. This doesn't necessarily have to happen but it is much more common among people who love the thrill, the chase, the rush of seducing a new person than people like the anon below you who aren't that comfortable with strangers and naturally gravitate towards more serious stuff.

Having said that, you are still young and are likely still going to value stability and depth of connection more as you age. It seems really common for people who fuck around endlessly to sooner or later start feeling like it's empty or all more of the same.

>>18251283
How can you manage to have opportunities for casual sex but be clueless with dating? Can you explain what part of dating goes wrong? Do you meet girls you would like to date?

>boyfriend breaks up with me
>gets mad at me because I didn't reply to his "breaking up with you" text
>says I'm weak because I won't fight to stay with him

What the hell?

>>18251253
This will sound fucking stupid but a hug is already a step with her if you are a boy.
I feel that she is shacking if i hug her.
And i already kind of noticed that she comes closer and closer but is still a huge step away from kissing.

She thinks that i'm way out of her league and that i can easily get a another girl that looks 100000 times better than her.
She has a very very low self esteem and she kind of hates herself too.
Everytime if i make a picture of her she wants it to be deleted because she thinks she is ugly what is not true in my eyes.

She was in hard depressions, she cuted herself and a eating disorder that she is still fighting atm.
With success.

But holy molly if she starts to play guitar for me or does draw a picture of myself for me.
My hearts melts.

And i never told her something deep about me.
But she told me things from the depths of her heart.

And she knows that i'm into her but she stil meets herself with me.

>>18251300
LOL
Keep ignoring him. Hopefully he kills himself.

>>18251265
Thanks for the reply.

>"Ghosting" (simply not responding anymore without warning) is quite common. Depending on your standards for girls and what you offer, girls might also have a lot of options lined up with all the easy apps.

Yeah, this is what worries me the most. Will I need to get online for dating nowadays? I'd really like to avoid that.

I've overheard girls at work who are only a few years younger than me talking about guys striking up conversation or them getting asked out in person and how it's creepy and they'd never go out with a weirdo like that. Granted, it's a small sample, but it's the only one I have.

I don't really see getting by on personality being a thing when it comes to these apps, and while I don't look bad, an average-at-best guy isn't going to do so well, is he? I'm generally considered charming, clever and funny so that's what I plan to bank on.

>>18251300
Gurl he's fucked in the head, he just wants attention and when u didn't give him that , he got angry and tried to make HiMSELF be the victim so he wouldn't feel bad about dumping u thru text

>>18251300
he's freaking out because he was expecting you to claw at his feet as he left, the fucking narcissist

you dodged one desu

>>18251300
Yeah hes a dumbfuck beb, find someone who isn't a child

girls, i just had a pretty important moment with a close female friend of mine. we're just friends first, and there's a lot of good platonic love between the two of us. but for a while i've been misinterpreting things and kinda fell for her, because shes also my type and in general just a very wonderful women with a great "resume". It was confusing because she's my friend but also an "i would" so i had some confusion for a while.

I asked her if the idea of dating came to mind, she said no, then we eased off for a couple weeks for me to recooperate and then we talked again, where i learned about how she really just has no interest in seeing anyone and doesnt notice anyone at this time because she's very focused on school. (me, her, and our friendgroup live a very introverted lifestyle). where we're going from here is we're just going to keep being friends and im going to be moving on from it and not "waiting around for her", so to speak. Very mature and constructive conversation and our friendship isnt in trouble at all.

My question is, even though im not waiting around for her (and wont really be prioritizing girls at all anyways), out of curiosity, does any type of confession like this ever make the girl think about it or ponder the idea? Did I potentially put my foot in the door for any future development should it show up? I know that she knows there's multiple attractive qualities about me and in general we have a very warm friendship.

>>18251309
Yeah absolutely. It takes loads more charm for a guy to stand out apart from looks on these apps.

I hear people talk shit about real life approaches as well, but it's never bothered me. Yes sometimes it's awkward, but I'm out in the public realm, people are free to talk to me for whatever reason they please. It's a different story if I try to discourage them and they don't take no for an answer.

People are awkward, they hate rejection and rejecting people typically. So the real rejection is a level before telling you off - it's giving one word answers, not smiling, not making real eye contact, not asking questions back. If you want to get good at picking up girls in the flesh (so to speak), practice your abilities for small talk on anyone you can. Learn how to make light of something you both saw or how to ask a question that is plausible and might lead to a conversation. As long as you back down when there's lack of enthusiasm, no harm done if she's not interested. If she wants to throw a hissy fit about someone approaching her and leaving again when she obviously didn't want to talk, that's on her and that seems an exhausting way to go through life.

A mistake many guys make is that they try to do a rehearsed little thing that never works out. It's much better to not have any smooth line and just open a real conversation. I really like stuff like asking if you had a good day, or whether tomorrow's looking good. It's very open ended, she can disclose as much as she wants, she has to think about it right then and there and cannot give the answer she always gives to that question... it allows something to happen in the moment.
And make no mistake, this does still happen. I get approached by men every now and then, sometimes after smiling at them sometimes when buried in a book, and I live in a country where spontaneous small talk is typically rare. So don't worry about standing out, just pay close attention to her cues.

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Hi ladies,

Freshly single after a very strong and long term relationship with a girl I loved lots. I need to get back in the game. I'm having trouble getting over it, but I'm getting better and I want to start sleeping with other women in little short term hookups. The thing is, I moved back home to my parents place because my roommates have all gone separate ways/moved cities. How can I close out convos while basically saying "lets go to your place" without sounding pathetic? I feel like I have decent looks and confidence but its a lot harder not having a place to bring them back to.

>>18251301
I see. It's good that you really like her because it's obvious that she's dealing with a lot at the moment. She will have to overcome these things - not just hesitance to be touched but also the pathological insecurity - in order to have a healthy relationship to begin with.
If you are in it for the long haul, you might as well proceed and open up a bit more yourself. But realize she's not going to turn around and be the perfect girlfriend or anything close, not whether she takes six months or tells you she's ready to be with you in a week from now.

>>18251306
Well. Hope he doesn't kill himself.
Still, will keep ignoring him for fucking sure.

>>18251320
>>18251321
>>18251313
Well, lol. Too bad, I guess.

>>18251298
>How can you manage to have opportunities for casual sex but be clueless with dating?
People say I'm good looking, but I'm not very sociable
>Can you explain what part of dating goes wrong?
I'm a dense idiot who has trouble believing women want to date him
>Do you meet girls you would like to date?
I don't meet very many at all

>>18251344
Very many girls at all

>>18251336
Ooh this is a tough one. My first thought was already incorporating it in the build up ("so if I were to come over right now and punish you for saying such dirty things to me-" etc), but then it's pretty awkward to turn around and go "actually we HAVE to do it at your place" if she wants to go to yours.

Maybe just go out for drinks first, and once chemistry is established and you're flirting full force bring up that you have to go to her place because you can't bring anyone home? Maybe try having sex outside or saving up money for a one time motel room just in case she says you can't go to her place either, that it doesn't awkwardly end there...

>>18251338
I don't know what to do.
Should i still meet myself with her?
And should i still flirt with her when we meet?

Usually i'm always the one that plans dates and shit.
We met ourselfs like 5 times now.
4 times alone and 1 time on a party where she invited me.

And evertime i planned everything and everytime i asked her.
The only time where she did something and asked was the first time.
If i ask her i feel like that i'm disturbing her even if she said at the end of the dates that we should meet ourselfs again.
And i kind of feel like i'm coming of needy and clingy if i ask her every two weeks out.

And i have no problem in waiting for her if she wishes a relationship.
If she does not want to have a relationship it's okay too.
If that is what she wish and makes her happy.

>>18251344
Start with the other stuff first. Making friends and talking to strangers whenever you can will develop your social abilities and make you more confident in them. It gives you a lot of reassurance to know for a fact while chatting someone up, that you aren't being weird or impolite in any way.

If you don't already have hobbies, get on that first because again it will give you self respect and make you see yourself in a new light. If you do, find activities related to that to meet girls. Prime examples of opportunities are (free) events in your area like a little concert, courses (cooking, photography, drawing... though it's a bonus if you have excuses to pair up), stuff like dancing lessons, reading circles, volunteer work (especially stuff with animals or kids is popular with girls)...
An alternative is making friends with more extroverted people who can give you entry to a bigger social network.
Not only will you meet more girls but you are more likely to have a plus in their eyes if they know you as a guy tied to something they like, not a random suitor.

>>18251364
If you are happy either way, just keep meeting up with her, flirting with her and seeing what happens. Just check in with yourself to make sure whether you're still in it and if not, make it known that you're done trying and not knowing what may or may not come of it.

>>18251377
Thank you.

>>18251336
i don't get why people have such problems having sex in the same house as their parents. they are aware that you are an adult and if you're single, they probably expect you to bring some "overnight guests" home from time to time. don't be so autistic about it.

>>18251388
No problem at all. Best of luck. I understand your insecurity of some of these aspects (like needing to take initiative) but realize you're the kind of guy her parents, and no doubt at some level she herself, are praying for - not just for having good intentions but for having patience despite all her issues.

>>18251391
Not all parents are willing to see a parade of random sex partners of their children. It might not be "OP" who has an issue with it more than his parents. It's also much more awkward if your parents hear sex noises than roommates of the girl.

>>18251391
Because you have to be sure to not make much noise and and it's just generally awkward overall. Especially explaining to the person that you're hooking up with that you live with your parents and that they're over in the next room.

>>18251395
She already kind of introduced me to her parents.
We just started to do things since 1 - 2 months, we started 5-8 weeks after she broke up with her ex friend.
Kek.

That was so fucking cringy.
"Mom and Dad this is Anon, you maybe see him often now".

>>18251356
Yeah once the chemistry is full force I feel like it wouldn't be a huge deal breaker if things were going well. If she really wants it she would make it happen. Thanks!

>>18251391
Yeah idk I mean if I'm having sex with a girl its going to be loud and wild. My parents sleep on the same floor as me, and out of respect I also don't want to wake them up to the sound of their son fucking some girl. Not really my kind of relationship with my parents.

>>18251277
We had before, she said she enjoyed it so far because we we're really lighthearted about it, but she was confused yadda yadda

I don't think giving her a deadline would work, that would be too much pressure. If we lived in the same town, maybe, but I fear the pressure plus the distance (lack of physical closeness) would make it more likely influence her toward breaking up

Sorry if I sound like those people who ask for advice and dismiss everything, I guess I'm looking for a way out that doesn't actually exist. I'm coming to terms with laying down and licking our wounds, leaving her be for a while. It's just hurting the most now because we really looked forward for the visit and she called it out, maybe now that the weekend is almost over it will get better.

Thanks for your support though, really appreciate it, having someone to talk about it really helps

>>18248756
Question: This girl I like was joking about killing herself. Being someone who has attempted suicide 3 times kinda told her to knock it off and told her why. Eventually I told her I would talk to her later and stopped texting her recently.

Did I blow my chance?

>>18251445
That's called "spilling your spaghetti"

>>18251445
>Did I blow my chance
Yes

>>18251417
Yeah I can see in that case. Still I think it's important that if nothing else, you get your peace of mind at -some- point. If the alternative is being strung along for half a year before still hearing the final word that nope, she's not going to do it... is that worth the slightly upped chance that she might say yes?

It might make her lean more towards breaking up but there's a lot that comes with this territory. Even if she says yes, you aren't exactly "there". You mentioned a child - well, that would take many people years of contemplating whether they feel safe enough, if and how to raise their child in a poly relationship, for your girlfriend to re-evaluate how she would feel if you shared the intimacy of impregnating (even if she does not want to be impregnated, it is a lifelong bond to have a child together, and biology counts for something whereas all three of you experience the nurture part of parenting) with another woman, and so on and so on.
Even apart from that, as I said, she'll have to come to terms with leading a life she never envisioned for herself, how to explain it to her parents, how to explain it to the outside world (not necessarily in everyday life, just small stuff like who to bring to a work event, either dealing with people's judgment or deal with always having secrets)...

I don't think this is the kind of thing exactly that you can ace if you just get her to cuddle up and swoon into saying okay. And if it DOES fail, you will inevitably get the situation where she feels like yep, her horror scenario of being the third who gets dumped like a sack of shit came true. Regardless of the more complicated reality.

No problem, hope it works out somewhat one way or another..

Why do girls ghost? Why can't you just say "I'm not interested"? Fucking cunts.

>>18251369
I have been neglecting to keep up on certain hobbies, but I don't think that's the issue, because I have always and will always be a football jock at heart, but being good at sports my whole life hasn't made me any less weird.

Extroverted friends often try to push me to have casual sex or think I'm dumb enough to buy into the "nice guy" thing.

How am I supposed to find these group anyway?

>>18251493
Guys do it too. It's awkwardness and how easy virtual interaction makes it to not do anything and not be confronted with how impolite that is.

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I've watched 10s of hours of RSD type stuff on youtube, and i'm still shit.
And i'm not the r9k type, i'm just completely shit at asking girls out.

>>18251463
Sure, we won't wait forever for an answer. At some point we too might get tired of the wait and move on.

And about long term plans, the child thing was more of a joke. There's a ton of stuff to sort out before, like the distance, coming out and so on. It's hard to admit, but maybe she thinks we are all to old to risk it not working out. Were we younger, like 25, there's be a good 5 years or so to work this out and still have a big chance at marrying if we failed. Unfortunately a 30yo women is more "marriable" than a 35yo one and I'm sure it plays a part to her.

What makes it sadder is that she like us too... hard to accept that even though everyone likes each other we might not end up toghether because of other things. I feel like an interracial or gay couple in the 1920's...

>>18251333
pls dont let these trips go unnoticed

In march i was seeing a girl i met on tinder. Everything was going great and we really connected, physically and emotionally. Honestly i was surprised because i thought tinder would be junk

Anyway, i set up to meet her again one day and she stood me up. I asked her what's going on and she looked at the message and didn't reply. I asked her if everything was ok the next day and again she looked but didn't reply. Then i say something else along those lines the next day and this time she says really sorry but I started talking to my ex again but i don't know how i feel about it. So I'm like fuck this but i still asked her if she wanted to meet and talk and you guessed it, she looked but didn't reply

My question is, should i just cut this bitch out of my life completely? I still have her on fb and i want her to see me doing super well without her, make her regret her decision, that kind of thing. Make her feel some of the sads she gave me. But when i do see her posts it's sad to me because i really thought it was the start of something

Thoughts?

How do I approach the shy guy without scaring him off?

We're friends and all and we hang out. but, he's prone to self sabotage, i feel that he ticks in a kind of way that makes him shy away from girls that make themselves available to him.

Girls is it weird if a guy doesn't use social media?

>>18251502
(I'm not OP) I sometimes stop talking to some girls who I never met, because of being busy and because I can't be bothered to keep talking with someone who I don't even know if I'll like in person.

I wonder if they think I'm ghosting and if this is ruining my chances.

>>18251804
No

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>>18248756
Girls or guys plz

How do you have a conversation with a girl your interested in? She knows I am Im just not sure how to talk to her, like a friend right?

Another question, how do you reply to one word resposnes such as "Ya"? Just move on and ask another question or some shit?

>>18251907
THIS PLEASE

Guys

Do any of you think casual sex/hook ups is a bad thing? If you say yes, there can't be a double standard here

>>18251942
Wow another person with the same questions as me

If we don't get any replies I'll post it on the new one once this dies, it does have 300 something replies

>>18251958
Aight thanks my dude

Mostly asking girls, but it doesn't matter.

Ok, so this girl has turned down any advances I've made, but she keeps flirting with me and asking questions about how I'm like in a relationship, that she thinks we'd be a cute couple, etc.

With that in mind, she gets angry at me if I'm talking to other girls, even if it's something stupid like "oh, catch game of thrones yesterday? crazy shit"

Then she'll randomly send me heart emojis or inside jokes or whatever.

But, whenever I say "oh, we should go out sometime" she won't really say anything besides "yeah, we should"

Is it because I'm not more direct/too up in the air? Should I be more definite by saying "let's go to dinner on friday"

Or maybe she doesn't like me? Maybe she does but is hesitant?

>>18251950
I do. But it isn't the physical act itself that bothers me, it's the spiritual/emotional consequence of it that bothers me. I don't condemn anyone for wanting to partake in it. I'm tempted plenty. But as I get older, I realize I want someone serious, and the girls around my age group can barely take themselves seriously. In practice they have given into this life of escapism, if I walked up to one now and said I was the reset button and I want a monogamous relationship with her, after she's grown accustomed to sleeping around, I feel it's more likely she will be less invested in the long-term. I have no evidence to prove that, everyone is a case by case scenario. But what I see fucking hurts.. and I generally depart from people my age now. Finally when I make an exception, nothing comes of it.

So I have a small dick, a little above 5". I've know this for awhile and have come to terms with it and finally decided to put myself out there. This was my second date with a girl I met off tinder. First date was really fun, ended in a kiss goodnight. Second date, we ended up at my place.

We started making out. Things were getting a lot hotter as her clothes came off. I was about to go down on her and she stopped me and said "you first" before enthusiastically taking off my pants. She seemed so into it but when the pants came off, everything changed. She just had this sort of dissapointed look on her face. She grabbed it and played with it for a few seconds and just suddenly said "I'm really sorry, I have to go". My heart sank. It was like every worst fear of mine was confirmed. Stupidly, I asked her why. She took a few seconds to respond, I could see her choosing her words carefully before finally saying "we're just not compatible , I'm really sorry."

I don't blame her but damn I just feel so inadequate. Thankfully, we don't have any mutual friends so my she can't tell anyone I know but i still feel so embarrassed. How can I avoid this type of situation in the future? Should I just avoid sex all together?

If a girl touches you like touching your hair or putting her hand on your back when you walk does it mean she may be attracted to you?

>>18252029
Yes, usually. Physical contact is always a good indicator of attraction. The only way you can find out for sure though is by asking her out.

>>18252035
Thanks! I will

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OK females, heres the skinny.

There is this 3/10 maneater girl that I wanted to smash. We go for a walk, walk underneath an overpass. I make my move... however I am betrayed by my penis. It simply wouldn't get hard for her. So I forced a pseudo erection. Tried to find a comfortable position.Tried to penetrate and finally did, however it didn't last and I pulled out for the weakest most pitiful ejaculation I ever had.

What are the chances I can regain my lost honor? I feel like she got a really bad impression of my sexual prowess. What are the chances I can hit it again?

NEW THREAD
>>18252185
>>18252185
>>18252185

>>18251783
The hard truth is yes. Whenever the "I'm starting to exchange virtual carrier piegons with my ex again" talk starts, it means you're not in her heart the same way this guy is and probably always will be. Move on.

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Would a girl find me attractive

>>18252529
Whoa; not a woman but I find you to be not ugly!