Hey any of you guys care to hear potential stand up jokes i came

>>18247187
I feel something is lost if you're not delivering them aloud, but I'll hear you out.

>>18247187
sure why not what's there to lose on an anonymous Taiwanese basket weaving imageboard

>>18247217
You're fucking that meme to death.

Also I feel like that's not the first time I've seen it on this board, which defeats the point of posting on an anonymous malaysian prime ministerial committee.

>>18247187
It will be the higlight of my day.

>>18247187
Alright here we go
>You know, I spend a lot of night up past 4 A.m. right before I have to come into work. Then I get to work and im all exhausted and everyone starts asking me "Why im so sleepy" or "Why cant I get sleep at night?" I usually tell them I was too busy, y'know? To get them off my ass...

But truth is im just a pervert. I sent around all night trying to find anything to fuck via internet. Dating sites, Craigslist, backpage just a bunch of shameful ass sites. And the crazy thing is I wake up in the morning all depressed and disgusted with myself, but a few hours later I do the same shit again.

Im a different person at night im like a werewolf, but with fucking. I go out, I go pillage some lady's village, and then regret it in the morning. Like the Hulk or something.

Yea thats it, im the Hulk of fucking. I go on these long fuck cravings and dont care who I knock down in my path and by the morning I wake up in a field somewhere wondering who I hurt. Im like looking at my reflection in a puddle of water thinking "What have you done, Bruce? What did you do to that mother of three?"

Notice I said The Incredible Hulk of fucking and not the Batman of fucking. The Batman of fucking would be me giving it to them in a dark alleyway and when they least expected it.

There are two heroes of fucking you dont wanna be, and thats The Batman and The Flash

>>18247228

It's a bit long for stand up, can be shortened, but otherwise it's great.

The right person telling it, the right atmosphere, and it'll get laughs.

>>18247228
I chuckled pretty hard on Hulk of fucking. Setup may be a little wordy if you're not delivering it just so. Same as the end.

3/5, solid mid-set piece, maybe a bit higher if your delivery is clutch.

>>18247228
It needs more work, but I like the idea.

>>18247236
Yea if I was doing stand up id implement certain phrases and pronunciations to fill in the long dry spaces between laughs.

>>18247228
Please do continue.

>>18247237
>>18247238
Yea I legit just thought it up in an hour. So it is kinda rough.

>>18247242
I had more but its such a bitch to type it out on this tablet.

Hey man, that's better than I was expecting. It's a little rough, course, but it's solid, I chuckled

>>18247228
Seems pretty good to me, but like others say, there's only so much text can portray. the speaking part can portray tone, emotion, volume and other things so depending on your personality, it could make the joke better or ruin it. Also I hope your name is Bruce.

You could if you want swap Batman with Spiderman every once in a while like "you don't want to be the Spiderman of fucking, swing in unexpected,constantly cracking wise at your expense, spray your sticky shit all over them, and then leave it to the police to deal with" or something to that extent, but that depends on the audience and mood. You could leave out the werewolf part and go straight to "I'm the Hulk" but make it sound like a relaxation, like you just noticed it at that very second.

As of now it's a solid piece.

>>18247228
That was fucking terrible.

>>18247187
Passable imitation Lenny Bruce