>Go out to eat with friends >See a cute girl working there

>>18237895
Are you hot?

Don't give workers your number you dumb fuck

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Ima be honest with you Op, that was a terrible way to hit on her. You didn't interact with her at all or have any conversation going. You had no idea what she thinks of you. Yet you went up to basically a stranger with "hey here's my number call me." It looked like you assume you're desireable enough to have some rando hit you up. Shit doesn't work like that.That's one sided and it takes 2 to tango.

If you think someone is cute start conversation. Ask for THEIR number. Don't ever throw the ball in a woman's court and expect them to go for you unless you're brad fucking Pitt with charisma out the ass.

>>18237902
You can if you're hot doe

>>18237895
You've got zero game.

>>18237895
When people say "The worst that happens is she'll say no," obviously they don't literally mean that a polite "no" is the worst thing she can say. They just mean that the worst thing that can happen is she'll reject you.

Obviously she can be a dick about it, and a certain percentage of girls are always going to be dicks, regardless of how hot you are or how smoothly you ask them out - some people just have chips on their shoulders. Any guy who's had a lot of success with women will have suffered through plenty of nasty rejections. Doesn't mean anything about the guy.

But that's all that happened - there's no lasting consequences unless you (stupidly) let this ruin your confidence. You're fine, you're not socially ruined. A girl laughed at you. So fucking what. You have an embarrassing memory that'll turn into a mildly funny story 5 years down the line.

People are giving you shit and I agree with them that you could have gone about this better, but at least you took a swing, unlike a lot of the dudes on here who post shit about how they're forever alone and after a bit of probing it turns out they've never had the guts to actually ask somebody out. Truth is there ARE some girls out there who would've responded well to what you did, because they're nice or bored or lonely or horny enough to think, Fuck it, why not? A minority, sure, but they exist, you just didn't happen to run into one. You didn't do that badly here. Better luck next time.

>>18237954
My strategy with girls is to let them come to me lmao

I've never cold asked a chick out ever, it's always a coworker who wants to fuck me or a girl gives me her number without my asking

>>18237956
Good for you? Not really sure what kind of response you're expecting here, honestly.

Not an attitude that would work for most guys, but I'm glad it works for you.

>>18237913
>Ima be honest with you Op, that was a terrible way to hit on her.
This anon gets it.
Everything you did was basically wrong. You also put the ball in her court, which is wrong.
Don't go straight for phone numbers. Make her interested in you first.
For the record - you've now experienced the worst kind of rejection...so literally you have nothing to fear.
Next time you see a woman you want to hit on, do your best not to just see her as prey lol. Try to just chat with her like a regular human being.

>>18237954
>a girl laughed at you
Fuck he didn't even get slapped. I remember in my single days, my friends and I competing to see who could get slapped first in a night haha.

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>>18237895
I think I could make it work. But you need to make her want to call you first! You probably have a nice trait you can explore, if you are cute, make her see it. If you're funny, make her laugh. Make her remember "Oh! That's the funny anon! heheh". If you are able to do any of these just barely, giving the number will give you results.

Also, have a pen and a piece of paper (make the paper look important), and write the number down in front of her so she feels special.

Also2, 2017, she might want to type in her phone, tell her you're an old fashion guy so she doesn't fake typing.

Also3, ima steal your idea.

>>18237963
My advice is to be pretty.

Lift weights and dress well and be funny and tall.

>>18237965
>Just try to chat with her

How am I supposed to do that when they're closing and I've got 5 minutes? That's the fucking problem I see constantly, it's either I do shit like I did and just go for the kill, or I don't get any chance at all.

>>18237902
Do I just let her pass me by and never even try? I see a girl I think is cute but there's no opening, I've got to at least try right? Fuck man.
>>18237920
Debatable.
>>18238000
I think I'm somewhat attractive, I'm not scrawny and I'm built decent, pretty funny, and I don't know what you consider tall.

>>18238173
>Do I just let her pass me by and never even try? I see a girl I think is cute but there's no opening, I've got to at least try right? Fuck man.

It's just considered bad form to ask someone out when they're on the clock.

>>18238175
It's not even just girls on the clock dude

It's the fact that all you get is enough time to introduce yourself and give them a number, that's fucking it. It's bad form but god I don't have any other option besides show up everyday (which is crazy) or wait for her to get off work (also crazy).

This is so bullshit dude, I take risks, I got in better shape, cleaned up my face, I go out, I've got hobbies, I'm not some fucking robot on my computer anymore! I thought I filled the cracks of being r9k and finally was at a point I had enough to attract a mate! Getting sick of it dude, at this point I'm not even blaming myself for rejection or shit like that. I know that I'm great and have shit loads of qualities, it's these fucking girls in this modern age. It's no longer my incompetence, and I hate people saying it, but it's seriously everyone else that's fucked, not me.

>>18238209
The answer is not to obsess over girls that aren't even in your life's triangulation. There are lots of attractive people in the world. There are countless more whom you will never meet.

Don't center your ENTIRE BEING around getting your dick wet, which is exactly what it sounds like you did when you were at the restaurant with your friends, and is super fucking easy for everyone to see through. People are interested in other people, not those who are scouting for "mates."

It sounds like you're on your way with all of the improvements but maybe have taken two giant step backwards with this bullshit "these modern age girls" crybaby autistic nonsense.

Figure out what your deal is, you sound like an extremely insecure dude wrapped up in a nicer shell.

>>18238224

*whomst'd
I'm insecure about a few things, but like I said, I truly do have a lot of great features to me. My real insecurity is my frustration in this field because I have barely any control over it besides right place right time. There's no finish line you can run to, it's like you'll just keep running forever and eventually you're told you win. You will get used to running, stronger legs, all those things, but you're still fucking running until life tells you you've won. I was at the restaurant because I was hungry, there just happened to be a cute girl. Obviously I'm always keeping my eyes open, but my main intention to go was food. Also, I will claim modern age girls, because the standards and expectations are far higher than they were before things like the internet. Times have changed, being fed with things telling us what is attractive and what isn't brainwashes people to no end. Let's not go in to that though.

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>>18238237
what if I told you that your "real insecurity" had nothing to do with women

>>18238252
Alright fine

I'm insecure about things like a career where I feel like nothing will ever be enough to me, money, place I work, anything. I'll constantly strive for something better but I'll never be satisfied with the things I've already accomplished because I discount progress if I haven't reached the goal. I hate work and I figure if I just hold out for a little while I can switch from a host to a waiter, even then I won't be satisfied because I'll be annoyed with the bullshit regardless. I know exactly what I should do with my life yet I don't do it, because it's still work and it's not fun, I just understand it.

Like the kid in the class who never did shit but passed because he aced every test because he just GOT IT. I'm that kid, and the thing that I get isn't fun and I have no need to pursue it... yet.

In the end I think having a girlfriend will help me stride for success as it creates a motivation and need for it. It's stupid, and I'm told I have to find the motivation myself, but I have done so much and I'm not satisfied. In a way maybe that's what will happen with a gf, however just getting that fucking taste of what it's like would be great. I was the fat kid, everyone liked but girls didnt want me, and now I've become attractive, yet I'm filled with spite and rage that I still cannot accomplish the simple gf idea regardless of effort and time.

That sound more accurate?

>>18238261
What is your actual goal?

>>18238263
not op but I really want to have a happy life and just be better at social things

>>18238267
Weak sauce bro

>>18238263
Have a passive income that allows me to completely control my time. The subject I'm very "talented" in, is marketing. I've always just understood it, and I honestly believe I have a plan and methods to achieve the goal of passive income and being in control in my time where I can do whatever I want. I won't go in to detail, it just boils down to I haven't done it because I never felt a need to. I still live with my parents, don't pay bills, don't spend a lot of money, so there's no need.

Power comes in response to a need, not a desire.

>>18238267
What is a happy life and what are social things.

>>18238274
What do you want to do with your time?

>>18238276
Spend time with friends and people I love and care about.

The computer, books, food, and more, those will all be waiting for you at the end of the day. I spend nearly every day with friends because I realize that they're not a coat I can hang up in a closet, if I don't act now, then there may not be another chance. It doesn't matter what we do, just as long as I'm doing something with other people and creating memories, that's what's important.

All these goals, milestones, these things we endlessly reach for, we just live in the future, and miss things like what I try to do every chance I get.

I know it's gay, but it's the truth, because money can buy anything you want, except time.

>>18238261
>In the end I think having a girlfriend will help me stride for success as it creates a motivation and need for it.

Sorry anon, but let's continue other anon's trend of being real here (I'm a new anon):

I can already tell you that it won't.

You MIGHT have a slight boost for a few weeks or even months, but right after that you'll backslide to exactly where you were before you met them, and then there's a chance that that backslide makes you doubt the entire relationship itself, which will ultimately leave you worse off than you were before for it.

Doing things for other people is a fleeting motive that provides fleeting change.

Doing things for yourself is where the lasting things come from.

Even when people say shit like, 'I changed for my kids" It's not really just about doing it for their kids--a lot of them end up working so many jobs that they never end up SEEING their kids or even being much of a presence in their life--really, most of the time it's so somewhere in their heads, they can say to themselves that, "I'm not a bad parent. I provided." or, "I didn't repeat what my parents did with me. I provided something better than I had" or whatever.

So if you're on the path of doing shit for you, and you like who you are, you do shit and you don't give too much a fuck what the response is because their opinion of you is irrelevant.

You ask a girl out and she laughs in your face? Who gives a fuck, her loss.

Find the shit in your life that can make you say that you're proud of yourself, of what you stand for, and that can make you say that you're doing your best to be the best of who you are. It doesn't even have to be material progress, it can be moral stances, it can be spiritual progression, fucking anything. Just find it, stick to it, own it.

>>18238261
that first paragraph is spot on to what you need to focus on. that feeling of never being satisfied, of never being enough; that feeling does not belong. I don't have to guess that it pervades most aspects of your adult life.

It is certainly an accomplishment to lose weight and clean yourself up, and you should really celebrate it for yourself. I've done it too, it's an immense feat of willpower to buck habits. However, while this was a good step, you never addressed the fundamental insecurities that you carried with you even before you had gained and lost that weight. Now you are riding high from accomplishment and finding that the old void is back, and this time you are trying to supplicate it with a gf and your new hot bod. Unfortunately, this is easy to see through, and your repeated failure at connection and will lead to a growing hatred of women as they stand in the way of you ever being comfortable with yourself. Does this sound right?

You don't fully realize it yet, but this void is something you've carried with you your whole life, and it has colored nearly every aspect of your life. Your inability to connect, the general "otherness" you likely feel, and your desperation to well up your shortcomings in a gf are all almost certainly the result of a lack of a stable, emotionally safe childhood.

Relationships are not meant to be difficult, you know. they're the easiest and most natural thing in the world to happen. somewhere along the line your circuits got disrupted, tangled, and are on an infinite error cycle.

The good news is you do not have to live like this. Go speak with a therapist and invest time in finding a good one. It takes time, but it is the only way. It gets better. Take it from an anon who's a little older and seen this road for himself.

>>18238285
So consumption and leisure. Kind of lame stuff to want amigo.

>>18238291
Dude I was always tfw no gf

ALWAYS

I've been seeing a therapist, and that's why I've got this "riding high" attitude, it's not just ego, I see myself differently, which frustrates me on to why it's still not happening. I've improved a lot, it's just hard that the one thing you just want a fucking taste of is starting to frustrate you because you don't know what the fuck is wrong.

>>18238301
Bro, be authentic. You are lacking substance if all you want to do is consume and spend time with others. you are letting them define you too much. If I had time I would spend it making music, writing, working out, reading, doing stand up, and making short films. I would not just waste it spending time with other people.

Who even are you?

>>18238304
>I would not just waste it spending time with other people.

I just don't see it as a waste, I enjoy myself with my friends and we do things I enjoy. I'm a very social person, it's just how it goes. Working on projects alone just makes me feel lonely and empty, life is more fun with others.

You ever play Halo? It's like Halo. It's good single player for a little bit, but it's pretty hard to not have a great time when you're playing with friends.

>>18238311
Dude you need to do some serious thinking about who you are. Why do you need people to give you enjoyment? The act of creation is the highest joy in life. Be okay alone and you will be sexier. I could leave my gf whenever and be just fine. You probably seem needy.

>>18238301
There's nothing wrong with not having a gf. It is frustrating to be turned down, no doubt. But there really is no simpler way to say it than companionship comes naturally when you are secure, and right now -- judging even by looking at the very words you use -- you are not ready for a relationship. That is okay, it just means you have more work to do.

I suggest you spend some time with your therapist really examining why you are frustrated.

>>18238319
For you it's creation, for me it's experiencing said creations. You can build the roller coaster and be proud of it, but I'd rather just ride it.

Its also the fact I've never even held hands with a girl it makes me frustrated because I just want to at least fucking have a tiny taste of what it's like. Just to fucking know dude. If it's great? Awesome. If it's not? I move on and learn that I really don't need it. Until it fucking happens though that constant nagging of the forbidden fruit will forever taunt me. Going to a fancy restaurant and eating lobster gives you the TASTE of luxury. I'm the fucking guy looking in on other people eating from outside the building because they wouldn't let me in no matter how I looked, dressed, anything.

>>18238323
And then we go back to the "not ready yet"

There is not "ready", because if there was, I'd already be ready because I would bust my ass to become ready. There's no goal point here dude, there's no finish line, you just eventually get told you win.

>>18238340
Have you ever tried making anything?

>>18238357
Yes.

>>18238340
Brilliant analogy. However, to continue it - and the real crux of this entire thread - is that you are outside of the lobster house, oblivious to the fact that along the street you are on there are in fact a number of equally warm, inviting restaurants that will allow you in. It is precisely your damage and insecurity that prevents you from even being aware that they exist.

I'm sorry, anon, for your hell. But everything you need to escape it has been told to you in one form or another in this thread.

>>18238361
Like what? I've foind that the subconsious usually writes what you need to learn most when you are doing creative writing.

>>18238365
But I want lobster.

All I ever wanted was lobster. I worked so hard to get lobster, yet I still have yet to try it .

Her laughed, k.
Just go there again and say that you like her again. Simple, looks strange to do this but the second time she will awnser you with the truth.

>>18238273

ill kick your fat, pasty white ass

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>>18238273
>>18238496

>>18237920
Maybe. But he is playing the game. Better than alot of others I read on this board.