>at work >have a coworker who is always laughing >she

>>18237218
Practice practice practice

Humour is based on judging a scenario, knowing the response, then subverting it unexpectedly
That's what humour is
You need experience/empathy to know what's expected .

If you can be funny, you can be social.

>>18237248
how do i practice? i don't have friends in the first place to talk to

>>18237259
Watch other people
Without being autistic about it

Also, try to write with some sense of decorum
If you can't press shift every once and a while, how can I trust you to shower and shave every day?

if you haven't found someone by the time you leave college, chances are you're not going to find a long term partner after that

you missed the boat

just try to enjoy the rest of your life as much as possible.

>>18237248
>subverting it unexpectantly
Just make sure it's within the realms of being politically correct.

You can test the waters once you get to know them, but edgy or niché jokes to people you don't know are terrible.

>>18237259
I used to practice facial expressions in a mirror my teeth aren't perfect so I used to worked on my smiles and my surprise face or impressed face or whatever.
Now I realise that, as long as i'm not threatening to bite them, nobody cares too much about my teeth. But that's besides the point. I can be very expressive with my face without realising now and it's an attractive thing I think. And it is something that can be trained, like humour and other stuff.

There's also the type of humour that you need to figure out. Some people like the sarcastic miserable humour, others like the poppy lol so jokes, others like smart witty stuff.

I think for you though OP, you need to work on making yourself happy. That's something others subconsciously notice and that's the most attractive thing about a person imo (unless they're a goth in which case it's different, or they're the type of person who is happy bevause they're 's dick).

Anyway yeah. Tangent aside, my opinion is that you need to make yourself happy and learn to love yourself. Feel relaxed with yourself. The rest will come with it and then you can start doing the more focused stuff.

Being funny without being happy is a combination that won't get you much mileage with relationships I think it

>>18237290
Thanks for the advice.

please respond

There are methods of how can you date with womans.
This is a skill that you can improve, just find about it and try to improve your body and your personality, if you want someone crazy and cool, be the same.

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56KB, 640x640px

>>18238399
>improve your body and your personality, if you want someone crazy and cool, be the same.
my body is good
but how do i improve my personality?

i'm not interesting, don't have friends, no social skills

>>18237259
>>18237263

A couple years ago I genuinely did this in real life scenarios as well as in television shows or movies, and it helped a lot.

Then again, I'm probably a legitimate autist.

be good looking
thats whats the base of the interest

>>18237218
You may be looking at it backwards. It may well be that she is smiling and outgoing BECAUSE she is happy in her love life. Find a girl, make her happy, and she'll act like a happy person.

>>18238424
thanks

>>18238442
damn... what else can I do?

>>18238409
Improving your personality is a complicated issue, because we tend to have different opinions on what a "good personality" is. But improving social skills is quite easy.

First obvious thing to do is to read a little about social interactions. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnagie, The social animal by David Brooks and The 48 laws of power by Robert Greene are pretty good books that will help you form an idea about how people think and act and what you should say, when you should say it and how you should say it. Mastery by Robert Greene also has a great chapter on Social Intelligence, you should also check that out.

Then, like any other skill, social skills needs to be practiced. Talk with people, but don't let your brain go on auto-pilot while doing it. Observe their reactions, look at their body language and their tone of voice, they tend to tell much more about people than what they're actually saying. Figure out what makes them tick, what caused them to react a certain way. Basically, get out of your head, stop looking at every interaction in terms of "how does it affect me" or "how I feel about this" and try to look at day-to-day situation from the perspective other people.

You should keep in mind that there are 2 kinds of social intelligence that are deeply interconnected. First of all is understanding how and why humans, as a whole act and think. This is what those books will help you understand, for the most part. The second one, the more important one is the ability to understand how certain people think, on an individual basis. This is what you're training to do, figure out how everybody around you thinks and acts. Whenever you're talking to someone keep this in mind, try to understand their beliefs, preferences and motivations. This skill will help you more in the long run than any kind of charm.

(cont)

>>18238485
Being interesting is completely subjective. You might be extremely interesting to someone and dull as dirt to someone else. We tend to judge people based on our own interests in beliefs, so pleasing everyone would be quite the challenge. But not impossible. First of all, an interesting person is a knowledgeable person. You may have noticed that some people have a semi-educated opinion on every concept, from theoretical physics to the Norse mythology. This requires a certain understanding of the universe you live in, which you can acquire mostly from reading non-fiction books and to most people it's quite interesting and impressive. I'm not saying you should spend all your time amassing knowledge in order to become a mini-wikipedia, but you should try to look for things that are interesting to you and learn more about them.

An interesting person is also a person who's very passionate about something. Preferably something that's sociably accepted, being passionate about porn or chinese cartoons won't score you points in too many people's eyes. Look for things that hold a great deal of interest to you then focus on learning, exploring and mastering them. Finding something like this can be life-changing, can give you a different perspective, can make you proactive and motivated and can, of course, turn you into a very unique and interesting person.

And lastly, how interesting you are is defined by your habits and experiences. You want to have diverse experiences, do things other than going to work and sitting home reading, playing videogames, or watching TV. Travel, try different sports, go skydiving, go mountain climbing, whatever, just get out of your house and do something that can make an interesting story.

Oh, I forgot to add, you should also read "Models" by Mark Manson, it goes a little into what makes someone interesting, how to become funnier and all that.

>>18237218

is that an airline stewardess? Fuck I need to fly more often

>>18238485
>>18238488
thanks for the advice

Where are good places to talk to people to practice? i don't really want to practice with coworkers, in case I mess up

>>18238552
What do you mean "in case you mess up"?

You're going to have the same kind of discussions you normally would, you just have to be more attentive to their reactions and try to figure out what or why makes them tick. You don't have to come up with fancy ideas or questions, just talk normally to people, but try to see the situation and the discussion through their eyes. This is a skill you can practice in your day to day life, you don't have to go out of your way to talk to people in a specific way (unless you never talk to anyone in your day to day life).

>>18238590
I don't talk to anyone, unless i need to. Usually for my job.
Like if i need to ask my boss a question.

>>18238611
Well in this case you should start expanding your social circles. That's pretty tricky if you don't have a group already, you have to find a way to put yourself in social situations. I find it hard to believe that you don't talk to your coworkers at all, you should be having some mundane talks like "hey, how are you" and such. For starters try to interact more with them, just making small talk. Ask them about their work, about their day, compliment their new watch or whatever (but only if you mean it).

You could also try to look for some clubs or charity work in your area, that's the easiest way to make new acquaintances, but I think you should mainly focus on talking more to the people around you. For instance, you said your body is good, so I'm guessing you go to the gym. That's a perfect social environment, there are people there you can talk to. Starting a conversation with a stranger can seem pretty hard if you're not used to it, but all you have to do is ask them something regarding the environment or their activity. Yeah, some people will not be in the mood to talk, or you may come off as an autist a few times before getting the hang of it, but that can't be avoided if you're trying to learn how to get out of your shell. Unless they're busy most people won't mind you asking them a question, or butting in a conversation they're having with someone else.

>>18238681
thanks for the advice

i usually just sit at my desk at work
only see people if I'm walking somewhere, and i do say hi, if i know them. but i don't stop and chat

i don't know coworkers enough to spontaneously start a conversation while they are at their desk

i have a home gym, so can't speak to people at the gym currently

>>18239064
>"hey I'm grabbing some lunch/going to the shop/going on a break, wanna come with?"
Even if its with someone you only remotely know, it can do well as a starter.
If they turn you down just go on as you were, then try again another time.
Just don't go nuts and try it everytime unless you're on friend basis.

>>18239120
thanks for the advice

though worried everyone will turn me down. it's usually friends who ask each other to do those things

be yourself