How do i stop feeling so pressured to get married and have kids?

>>18237121

You've got to ignore the pressure and just look at how much having kids tanks your life. Once you have kids, your life basically isn't yours anymore, it's theirs. For me, it's easy to look over at my exhausted coworkers, who can't do anything after work, who can't do anything during the weekend, who slam cup after cup of coffee to stay halfway alert to not want to have kids and be able to drown out the people pressuring me.

Lots (if not most) of people will pressure the kids thing because they're jealous of what you have - your freedom and independence. They'll claim you don't know what real life is like, or what real stress is, because you don't have kids, and will insist it's the best thing that ever happened to them because if they say that it isn't... they'll be told that they're horrible people. Very few people are honest.

I know this was very negative - but only have kids if YOU want them. Kids can be great. I very much respect well prepared parents who want to have kids and nurture them and build our future. I do NOT respect parents or people who bully or pressure people into having kids because of shit like /pol/ or because they're unhappy in their own lives and want to see someone else miserable.

I'm not pressured about kids at all. I couldn't care less about them. I will never have kids.

But I do feel incredible pressure that I'm suppose to have a girlfriend, or be going out and hooking up with lots of girls. I don't do either of those things. But I feel IMMENSE pressure that I'm suppose to be doing that. I feel like I'm doing something wrong

Sometimes I wonder if those who pressure you are miserable and want you to be miserable too. My example is the people in my life who always ask me if I'm married and have kids are married and have kids, and they all complain exactly the same way about their wives nagging all the time and their kids never letting them sleep. Some even go as far to say "Someday I'm gonna dump her".

I just don't see how they can sell me this product called "Marriage" if there's no one I know available to show me it's worth it, so far everyone seems terribly miserable.

>>18237121

you don't. the pressures will always be there. its a lie that there is any perfect lifestyle with secret codes that make people not judge you or bother you about it.

its like being a faggot. sure people are rude, but your life style in general is pretty good so you put up with it. thats what you're doing here. just dont have kids if you dont want to and tell the others to fuck off. it wont stop them from commenting and judging but oh well.

>>18237388
Genefags can't handle memefaggery. Can't even conceive of it.

>>18237416
But what about when people make you feel bad about yourself?

>>18237419

you can either give in to that, or re affirm your self. again there's no real solution.

the same way you can't have cake without calories, or muscles without a lack of cake, the world is in balance. you pick the path you like the most and do your best to push the negativity away.

you think gays dont feel bad coming to these boards every day and seeing people talk about how degenerate they are simply for offhandedly throwing out that they're gay?

but they put up with it cuz the benefits of this community outweigh their negatives.

people are going to make you feel bad about your self no matter hwat you do. You could lay on your back so people can walk all over you, and they'll still complain that you're not flat enough.

>>18237146
Bump

>>18237418

Well, I don't get a girlfriend or have sex because I have serious intimacy issues and I can not open up to girls emotionally.

What makes things difficult for me is that the forced image and standard that to be successful, I'm suppose to be good with girls, by either having a girlfriend or just being with many girls like most other guys do. Because I'm a /fit/ and decent looking late-20 year old, I'm "wrong" and "not normal". That drives me fucking crazy. I dont want to be weird, that's a big deal to me. My self image is a huge deal to me. I accept I won't experience anything real with girls dude to my issues, I've already accepted it for what it is. But god damn, people and society make me truly feel bad about myself

If you believe you will be happy by getting married and having kids, then go for it. But if you don't want to have children and only want to do it because you think it's the right thing to do, don't stress out about it. Do what you think is right for yourself, not what others think is right. Don't force yourself to be in a relationship and have kids if that's not what you want.

>>18237121
24 here and noooope the fuck out of kids

I aint even thinking about them until I'm completely stable and settled and even then, I don't know if I want that to get in the way of a relationship.

Its 2017 anon. There's enough people having children in the world. Make sure you, yourself, not anybody fucking else, is happy first. If that means focusing on yourself, then goddamn do that.

Anybody trying to guilt trip you and emasculated you will be suffering when they have kids. You'll be busy having time to yourself and maybe a partner, and they'll be dealing with absolute shit.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure seeing a kid grow is nice and I'd like that feeling too. But it's irresponsible and immature to want kids when you can't even hold yourself down.

After that it's personal choice.