Is it okay to forgive someone for cheating? My girlfriend cheated

>>18234827
>Is it okay to forgive someone for cheating?

Sure. It is.

But with your circumstances... you know what the answer you're going to get is.

Up to you what you want to do.

Make the decision not that you think will hurt the least, but that you won't regret the most.

>>18234827
So from what i can tell is she broke ur heart and she came back to u for some casual sex and you said yes. Are u bf/gf now or is it just routine ficki ficki. Either way i dont suggest a round 2 with cheaters fampai even if they tell u theyve "Changed"

I don't think it's worth getting back with her knowing that she fucked some other guy behind your back and completely breaking your trust. To be honest if I got back with her it would haunt me the whole time

No.
Alright, next question!

>>18234827
Relationships are not like a rented car .. ofc you can forgive her, but chances are she'll repeat at some point as you bought into it first time.
Two options in my view : 1. Use her for sex only until something better comes around 2. Kick her curbside and move on

>>18234833
She came back to me to 'talk', we had sex then she got emotional. That's how it happened.

She hasn't told me she's changed, she's told me she's working on herself. We are BF/GF now and have been for a little bit but shit man, it's not really hard but I have the thoughts of her fucking a dude randomly. I know we were broken up while she did it but still man. It was like a couple days after we broke up too. First I broke up with her then she broke up with me. Shit's just been metabolic. All of this started in January and went on for a month.


>>18234834
I do have trust issues right now with her but she seems respectful of that. It doesn't 'haunt' me but it just disgusts me. I've lost a lot of respect for her and her image though but I feel like it's starting to come back because she's being a good person again. When all this shit went down between us, our relationship wasn't doing well either. We weren't hanging out much and we were fighting all the time. Now everything's honestly better than ever before outside of the what happened in the past.


Shits hard dude but fuck. I don't want to be made a fool of again but I WHAT IF she truly learned from this life situation?

>>18234839
>Two options in my view : 1. Use her for sex only until something better comes around 2. Kick her curbside and move on


Dude that's why I got back with her. For easy, condom-less daily sex. I never expected to catch any kind of feelings again for her because she hurt me so bad but she's been doing a bunch of cheesy shit. Recently she organized a romantic pic nic for me and surprised me and my family on easter with a lot of gifts and a card she wrote me that hit me in the feels.

How do I know if what she is doing is genuine remorse of who she is or just something temporary? Is this just a life situation that I will have to figure out with time?

>>18234845
It's the gamble you take. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She'll be good temporarily but as soon as she sees you're comfortable and she is too, her eyes will likely begin to wander again. Cheating isn't acceptable in my opinion. It's unforgivable.

>>18234882
I thought the same thing always. I sometimes feel like a loser desu for taking her back.


And really, we were comfortable together for a while. Our relationship was actually on the verge of exploding when she cheated. We were fighting almost daily and I was being verbally abusive towards her ( for screwing up ) but it's still not an excuse, right?

>>18234827
That seed of a cheater will probably always be there as long as you are with her. Even if she CAN change, it's unlikely, and worse she'll always have you as a safety net, so she'll never the sobering, emotional rock bottom that comes from just fucking around with no prospects for relationship. If you're afraid of being lonely and just wanna feel around for another girl before jumping that's one thing. But please, do yourself a favor, don't stay with her if you're counting on her to change.

Lmao, have fun tasting her exes cum whenever you kiss her.

>>18234889
I'm not expecting anything. However, feeling like I'm catching feelings for someone again is something I didn't expect at all.

I don't like being lonely and I keep telling myself I will dump her when college is over and I have to move back to NYC in January.


I'm just so confused. I've never dealt with this in my life. I wasn't hurt when she told me she cheated ( after I pushed her to tell me ) because she hurt me already before that by fooling around with a guy a couple days after I broke up with her.

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>>18234827

>Is it okay to forgive someone for cheating?

Why are you asking strangers on the internet to validate your feelings for you?

We don't know you. We don't know her. Make the decisions that you want to make and stick to them and for the love of GOD don't come to a website populated by teenage virgins to gain any kind of useful perspective.

>>18234906
It's hard man, I don't have many people to talk to. I've been here for over a decade and I know that there are good people to talk to on here somewhere every now and than.

>>18234827

Quick lazy reply:
It's okay to do but I wouldn't say it's wise.

I'm only 27 but seen a lot of people go through this sort of thing and there is a LOT of truth in:
>Once a cheater always a cheater

Taking a glance over your story I'd run a mile, she clearly has no respect for you or the relationship at all.
Either directly or by simple lack of a spine.

If you really want to let her back in then it's your shout but make it clear it's thin ice, ditch at the first sign of her swaying... and if you ever consider rings get a pre-nup.

>>18234911

>I've been here for over a decade and I know that there are good people to talk to on here somewhere every now and than.

>I know that there are good people to talk to on here

There are more "good people" to talk to in a bus station bathroom, my man. For real.

Listen, second guessing yourself is a natural part of decision making that you have to get used to. Life is full of decisions that come with absolutely no guarantee that it was the right thing to do.

You can never know if what you've done is the right thing the only thing you CAN know is that you've absolutely dedicated yourself to making the decision you've made work because whether it was right or wrong you'll never work through any issue with half ass resolve.

It doesn't fucking matter if we think its okay. It matters if YOU think its okay because at the end of the day when life surrounds you and you have to make a choice you can't get accustomed to stopping and ask other people if your feelings are ok. You have to trust yourself, and if you don't trust yourself, just keep fucking up until you've learned something.

Don't pussyfoot, kid. We don't know anything about your life and anything we tell you will just be second hand speculation based on our own extremely limited personal experiences. Make a decision. Weigh your options and decide. This is one of those things you HAVE to learn to do on your own with a modicum of confidence if you ever hope to become a functional adult.

YOU are your most reliable sounding board, OP, not a bunch of autists and basement dwellers on the internet.

>>18234893
Ex's cum is the least of his worries, tbqh.
Herpes is a silent epidemic after all.

>>18234886
Never. It's not an excuse. Don't be a cuck. There are plenty of women running around who won't be such a slut. The nice things she does can be found in many others. Don't take back someone who cheats on you. It's not worth it. You seem nice, don't be too nice.

>>18234951
>You seem nice, don't be too nice.
I'm really not, I'm an asshole a lot of times. But I'm a sweet asshole I guess.


>>18234924
Shit man, I keep telling myself this. That no one knows this situation better than me but I keep asking others for advice and just a word.

Fuck her in the ass one more time then never speak to her again.

>>18234845
You don't .. it's a game of chance. I know what I would do, but you're not me. Whatever your decision will be, I wish you best of luck.

>>18234827
Never trust a cheater, never get involved with them at all

You never miss a slice off a cut loaf but like that first time your hard drive crashes, you know it's time to look for a new one.

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>>18234827
>How do I know if she's truly changing or just doing something temporary?
briffault's law
why would you even assume she would have "changed"
her outlook has changed, that's it
suddenly you look like a better prospect than you used to but this is entirely due to circumstances

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>>18234842
>WHAT IF she truly learned from this life situation?
famous cuck words
how does nigger cum taste like, homo?

>>18234842
>WHAT IF she truly learned from this life situation?
She did. She learned she can do anything and you will continue to lick her ass. Get used to the pain.

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>>18234842
what you are doing is proving her you are worthless
if you had any self esteem and manly power you wouldnt even talk to her anymore
because you'd have OPTIONS
by taking her back you're acting like a pathetic dog she can shit on anytime she feels like it
you may find the above offensive but that is how women think

abuse, destroy and move on. Women who cheat deserve to be in pain

>>18234827
>Is it okay to forgive someone for cheating?
Forgive? Yes, that's okay. But to get back with them after that? No. Never.

>>18234827
I can tell you from personal experience. I dated a guy for a total of 3 years. The first year he cheated on me. I took him back. After that it was never really the same. It would always be on the back of my mind that he cheated. I couldnt trust him. When he would go out with his friends and people i also was friends with i just couldnt trust him. Would constantly think he is out cheating and flirting with girls. All this would just build up.
I ended up moving our of my house when i was 18, he begged to come with me and i let him, after about 4 days of living together i realized i no longer love him. I ended our relationship. He tried to get me back, he begged he said he changed but i just didnt have feeling for him anymore, I loved him as a friend at that point.
After about 4 months I started dating again and now I been with this guy for 5 years.
I personally think once something like cheating happens it will never be the same, you can forgive them but you will always have that thought of what if they do it again.

Not a girl
A man may be forgiven but not a woman

>>18234827
No, it isn't.

You're a fucking faggot for even considering it.

>>18235703
Regardless if its a man or a women. If they cheat then clearly they no longer want to be with you and there is no point of forgiving them. You will be the one hurt.

>>18234827
Nope...Ive been in a very similiar situation and Well for me it was unforgivable.. I was really hurt by her actions and when she came back the first time I was stupid and naive and let her back in only to get fucked again!

When she tried the 2nd time I told her too fuck off!

>>18234827
Don't.

Is it okay to forgive somebody for cheating...

No, it's not really okay. It's always there. The fact that they reached a point where they cared so little about you that they would do something that held the potential to destroy your life. To leave a scar that will never heal.

It's really not okay. Things aren't fine. they never will be. What is change. Change what? Act in an artificial manner to appease me? That was never the point. Love was about wanting to be together, and they didn't want to be together. There's nothing to change. It's not want, it's need.

Every happy event is now a nightmare. Sometime to disect, to analyze, never enjoy. All you wanted to do was be with somebody, and now you can't even do that no matter how close you get. It's over.

Everything is pain. There is no happiness, only trying to look past the cracks in your smile. Everything that you try to do becomes resentment. Somebody willing to hurt somebody like that doesn't deserve such kindness. Don't look back.

>>18234827
With my personal beliefs, forgiveness is mandatory. You won't move on in life unless you do.
That being said, it seems like you're worth more then what she has to offer you. You need to find someone who appreciates and cares for you consistently, not just when they're scared of losing you.

>>18234827
Yeah do not forgive sluts, they'll just keep doing the same thing over and over again.

>>18234827
once a cheater, always a cheater
if she ever truly loved you, she wouldn't cheat.

>>18235706
I don't agree. A man has the biological imperative of impregnating as many women as he can, therefore his nature will force him to cheat. But he may have found a soulmate whom he wouldn't like to leave, it is just he has the need to "let the steam off" with some girls hell never see again.

>>18234827

There's no hope, anon

just drop her for someone else

>>18234827
You are screwed I'm sorry, she won't stop and doesn't care for you.

>>18235822
I agree

>>18234827
of course its possible, you could fucking buy her a bundle of roses and say welcome home hon.
But is that really what you fucking want. someone who would disrespect you that badly to be your partner.
Someone who said "hey fuck my relationship, this will be worth it if he finds out" when she/he was with another dude?
you know what you should do, or you wouldnt be here asking this question, you would've just forgiven her

>>18234830
No it fucking isn't. The second someone fucks up that bad pretend like they're dead. Everything you once had is immediately done.

>>18234827
You never take a cheater back. You don't know what she does when no one is watching.

>>18235886
This is the only correct answer.

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>>18234827
>Is it okay to forgive someone for cheating?
never
the fact that you are even considering it is a problem that you should sort out