I fucked up. I'm a pretty cold dude at least thought I was

>>18233584
Keep in mind, she is a lot older then me. I don't trust her but I don't know if thats just me and how I am with everyone, I could always do better then her she knows it as well but she could hurt me all the same. I don't know a lot about her past she doesn't really talk about it she maintains that there isn't anything there and I believe it to a degree because of some circumstances she hasn't lied about.

Any questions you can ask that would help clear my mind and maybe give a better perspective to you guys so you can make me clearer or more at ease?

Well what do you want? I think the first step would be figuring that out, communicating that to her, and then trying to stop panicking over stupid shit. I mean desu I can't see you pouring your heart out, having feelings for her, and basically telling her you love her NOT leading to some level of seriousness. But I don't understand why that would cause her to leave and fuck you up??

>>18233591

wtf this just sounds shitty and why dont you just get a better sex partner/romantic interest or whatever?

>>18233597
Isn't that how it works? That mystery and the whole want what they can't have fades and them too?

I've never been in a relationship, lots and lots of flings but I've seriously never been close with anyone or had anyone there for me.

The only reason I poured my heart out to her, and this has just happened now mind you, is because I started to panic and be distant. She told me she likes me a lot last night again. Kinda triggered me to text her all this shit about where I'm at thinking its the right thing to do.

To be honest, scared as fuck bro. Scared because I doubt her hard, scared because I have feelings there and I know whatever comes of this I don't want to come out worse off. Fuck I'm never scared of shit. I'm scared she will fuck me over, despite the shit she says.

Worse part is I know shit like this can't last forever, I'm pretty loyal to shit I commit to but in saying that I just can't come of worse.

>>18233615
tell me more bros? Shitty how as In I'm getting to caught up on shit?

Yeah I could do it, but I'm slightly attached which I'm fuckin worried about cause I'm never like this.

Worse part is people have told me I could do better but I just don't care about that. Not everyone has been there for me like she is.

but the fact that I'm there is like a big no for me, I ain't even been here before.

Also feel like I'm being too emotional to the first thing that I have become close to because I've been so closed. So it does go a bit more beyond a random fuck.

Am I being too emotional? Should I just get the fuck out of dodge?

>>18233622

What is one rational reason why it would be bad for you to make a strong emotional connection with another human being? That's like, well, a good thing. Obviously there is the risk that later shit won't work out but I mean I have literally never regretted liking/loving anyone because it was still an overall positive thing that I made that human connection and even when it ended I walked away knowing good stuff is possible. As to what other people are saying about her like you could do better or whatever, fuck other people. You've never even been emotionally attached before apparently so if it is working now then they really should go fuck themselves about judging who you got there with.

>>18233661
I'm scared bro, I doubt her and I don't trust her. I don't know a lot about her, she plays the whole I've never been this close with someone before but shes a lot older then me. I'm scared if I put it out there she going to just fuck me over. I'm always speculating shit or thinking up scenarios in my head, I'm the one getting jealous I refrain from showing it but it should be the opposite if anything. If I'm buckling over something that might or might not even be in terms of just scenarios I put into my head despite her saying she would put anyone over me and proving it without me ever talking about it, how will it even work?

Example she randomly told me if I ever wanted to check her phone I could out of the blue, I said I'd never do that and that I don't care but I thought fuck even so she would probably just delete shit and say it to keep me around.

I really don't trust her intentions.

>>18233684

I guess I don't understand why you doubt her so much. I mean you've established that she's always there for you and I am missing the point about why you should be so panicked about her. I mean there is inherent risk here but just don't do anything retarded and take it slow. I think you're worrying too much. People have relationships all the time, almost all of them end, plenty end badly, but everyone still moves on with their life. You're like not living right now because you're too randomly terrified.

>>18233702
yeah you're right, I appreciate the clarity. Just me overthinking shit all the time and not knowing where to go with it.

>>18233725

np anon, just chill and be happy that you've met someone who you have a connection with. It's a positive thing. Bad stuff could happen, but it might not and if/when it does, you'll be okay then too. Just go slow and chill.

>>18233734
Got anything on your chest? We are all here for some sort of reason or agenda?

>>18233746

Other people's issue distract me from my own. Feelsgud to be helpful.